Friday, December 31, 2010

2010, you were not boring, that's for sure.

One of my quirks is the ability to relate pretty much any occasion to some kind song lyric.  Hell, there are periods of my life that I could compile an entire soundtrack for.  I'm kind of at a loss right now though.  Yes, it's New Years Eve and I'm being all retrospective.  I'm not sure how I feel about the past year.

Without going into too much detail, I have mentioned previously my messed up relationship with New Years Eve.  It was a New Years Eve that the ex-hub told me he was unhappy and thinking of leaving.  That night we talked in tears for hours and I literally, on the floor on my hands and knees, begged him not to leave.  I had never ever lowered myself to that point before and later I swore I never would again.  My world crumbled before my eyes.  In spite of agreeing to try and work things out, two weeks later he was gone.  It's so bizarre years later that I had felt so strongly about someone who now, is just an aspect of my life that I deal with.  We share children but at this point in time he's little better than a stranger or an acquaintance to me.  That I had felt so destroyed at that time seems almost laughable now.  So weird how time changes things.

It was also a New Years Eve that I, after an unfortunate combination of vanilla liquer, Sauvignon Blanc and alcoholic Jello that I very tearfully proclaimed less-than-platonic feelings to a friend of many years, but they were not reciprocated.  It was not the classiest of scenes but fortunately there were few witnesses.  Mainly he, I and the two friends tasked with the unfortunate job of trying to haul my blubbering drunk ass to the cab.  Again, time is a funny funny thing, as a mere two years later I can safely say that we've made our way back to some semblance of our pre-breakdown normalcy.  It was rough for a while, for me anyway

There have been some very good years too.  Last year was probably the best one I can remember.  The live show my friend K and I were supposed to go to was cancelled, so we decided to crash the wedding of a couple we knew who were getting married that night.   We showed up after dinner, into the dance portion of the reception, and the bride and groom were very gracious and insisted if we were going to stay, we were to eat lots of food as they weren't taking ANYTHING home.  It ended up being a fantastic night of dancing with some of my oldest and dearest friends.  So they're not ALL bad.

2010.  Oh, what to say about you, 2010.

You've been interesting, that's for sure. 

2010 was the year I found out there is such a thing as love at first sight.  And although things didn't work out, this was the year I discovered that I was able to really open up and be true with my feelings to someone, even if they didn't entirely share those feelings.  And although things are crappy now, there were a lot of good times I will always remember fondly, whether you continue to be part of my life as a friend or not.

2010 was the year I lost my best friend to time, age and changes in personality, values and general outlook.  It was probably the hardest thing I went through this year.  It was like getting divorced all over again.  It's still hard to know that I can't just call her and see how she's doing, it's hard to know that she wants nothing to do with me now for various reasons.  It's hard to not just apologize in hopes that I can have my friend back, but any wrong I committed, I've already apologized for.  I hope one day we can talk again, but at this point, it's no longer my call.  It's not just her, I miss the rest of the family as well, including my (former?  how do these things work?) godchildren.

On the other hand, 2010 I forged new friendships with people who I hope to have in my life for a long time, and revisited some old friendships that I had neglected and enjoyed ongoing friendships.  I was going to mention a few people, but I really don't want to leave anyone out.  When I hit my milestone 30th birthday I was floored by the number of people in my life who came to wish me well.

2010 was the year I reclaimed my name and my status as a totally, officially and legally single woman.

2010 was the year I started doing more music wise, playing at local open mike nights, getting to know the other people who frequented these nights, and even got up the nerve to sign up for the Penetang museum summer concert series.  A whole two hours playing by myself.  Twas pretty awesome.

2010 brought with it some pretty cool shows I got to see, like Big Sugar, Spoon, and the Schomberg Fair

So yeah, there was good and bad I suppose.  There's so much more that happened, but this post is a bit of a novel as it is, and there's no end in sight.  Maybe I'm just apprehensive because I really don't know what what to expect with the coming year.  I'm bummed out because I'm on my own again this year.  I know it's not the be-all end-all, but it sure as shit would be nice to not be by myself when the big ball drops.  Yes, I snickered when I said that.

Now we all know that all things cliched and having to do with the New Year include both a retrospective and a resolution for the year to come.  Here's a few things that are on my resolution list:

Be Bold (thanks to Cayley T for this one)

Learn to love Loneliness

Risk more, apologize less.  In the words of one of my dearest friends - "Laugh till you cry. Dance to your own beat. Eat dessert first. Sing loud.. REALLY loud. And Smile"

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

This is going to be a quickie...

My days are all messed up.

Seriously, I was doing a quick post and I almost declared it a Half-Assed Weekend post, then I remembered it was Wednesday. Sweet Jebus, do I ever love being on holidays.

I got the call today that my ticket to the Dominican Republic all ready to be picked up. Oh yes, one sun and alchohol fuelled week with two of my best friends. Happy Belated 30th Birthday to me because really, who wants to go to the DR in AUGUST? You go in JANUARY so you can laugh at all the people who are stuck in here in -30 Canadian winter weather. Suckahs.

Went thrift-store shopping with my mom and sister today and it was fabulous. I had not one but two OMG experiences. I bought a pair of jeans for thirteen bucks that when I put them on, I swear, I heard a heavenly chorus. I've never had a pair of pants that fit so well. You KNOW it's a good pair, when you put on your previous 'favorite' pair and well, they just don't feel right.

I also picked up fabulous strapless party dress for New Years (which will also be wearable in the tropics) and a wicked cool Mad-Men style 50's secretary dress for work. Gotta work off some of my ass for it to fit properly, which I know goes against my thrift store shopping rules, but I really couldn't bypass this one. It was way too cute.

Awesome new years dress.  I don't care if I go out by myself, I'm going out in this.  Fuck you, New Years Eve.

Awesome 50's Madmen type office dress.  Little tight in the butt-area, but I'll get on that.
In other news, I started some new projects that will be getting added to the Etsy store when i get them done.  Awesome set of Johnny Cash coasters, and one of my friend's gave me an old mirror she had kicking around for the last four years or so.  On the way home from her place I was already thinking of things I could do with it, and it's coming along nicely.  I'll post pics when I get it done.. need some extra supplies before I can continue on it.

I really need to remember to get creative when I'm feeling like shit.  I was in such a crud mood yesterday but getting my hands dirty and listening to loud music just made everything go away.

Anyway, I'm off, dinner and movie night at my other friend's place tonight.  Looking forward to it, we haven't had much time to hang out with the holidays and all.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Has it come to this?

I hate this time of year. 

Way too many bad memories associated with it, and I find it one of the loneliest times of year.. the Christmas letdown, New Years Eve, which is a big fuck-off ball of wrist-slitting fun, hell right up until Valentines day.  In the past, I've been subject to fits of depression around this time of year, and rightly so, when you consider what some of my past New Years' have been like.   The last two years haven't been too bad, last year because around that time period I had met the most recent ex, and the year before that I was embroiled in a bit of drama which although mildly stressful, kept things interesting.  My dark moods tend to come with boredom and loneliness.

In an act of desperation/morbid curiosity/boredom/blind optimism I reopened my Plenty of Fish profile.  Jesus H. Christ.  What a sad place that is.  Honestly, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to leave it up.  First, it took all of a half an hour to discover-most-recent ex on there, and that was fairly traumatizing, and second, I also discovered a dude that I had been talking about a year and a bit ago who turned out to be a bit of a whackjob is lurking around too.. and POF's security settings don't allow you to block someone until they've messaged you.  LOVELY.

So many damaged, jaded people.  So many 'nice guys' (find out more about my issue with 'nice guys' here).  So many people with laundry lists of what specifically they are looking for in a woman.  One guy even referred to 'Attributes'.  Fellow co-workers will understand why this terminology makes me laugh.  Compare these brands and models.  Oi.  So many cheesy topless pics.  Seriously guys?  So much about what they want, and what they desire, and what they REQUIRE, but so little about who they are.

SO many people desperate to reach out and be a half of a whole.  There but for the grace of God go I and other such blather.  Oh, wait...

I give it a week.

In the meantime, a well-suited musical interlude (have I sunk to a brand new low?):

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Awkward randoms of awkward awkwardness

So the guy in the store that is always smiling and saying hi to me is not flirting but rather being friendly, seeing as I briefly dated his brother.  AWKWARD.

It was pointed out to me today that my black purse, when it blends in to my black t-shirt and is subtly camoflaged by my coat and scarf, make me appear to be quite pregnant.  AWKWARD.

The kid in McDonalds needs to be commended for keeping a straight face, as tonight I walked in, ordered and paid for food, and walked away without realizing I had a Christmas tree sticker in the middle of my forehead.  AWKWARD.

In other news, I'm a lousy consumer.  I trekked out to go Boxing day shopping, with a book and a DVD to return, and roughly 70 dollars worth of gift cards, and I walked away with a coffee.

I'm not a fan of gift cards, actually.  I can appreciate the idea that it means the recipient can get whatever they want, but as someone that tends to put a lot of thought (and at times, overthink) when it comes to gift giving, they're a safe but kind of boring option.  Now, in my particular case this year, I know that the original gift I was supposed to get was a well-thought-out, but just seasonally unavailable one.  (my grandma's boyfriend had the intention to get a punching bag for me, but they're not in stock this time of year, so the gift card was a viable alternative).

I'm one of those people who is not a good candidate for cash or gift-card because of an annoying habit of buying practical things I need or things for the girls, rather than a gift for me. My loathing of big box stores (namely the seventh circle of hell that is Wal-Mart), is kind of an issue too.

So my attempt to indulge in some mass consumerism was a bust.  I'll hold on to the cards until something pops into mind that can be had... I'm considering going apeshit on art supplies (there's a set of acrylic paints - big tubes of it for like 35 bucks), or something to that effect, or maybe replenishing my makeup supply.  Truth be told, the older I get, the less interested in the accumulation of stuff.  Even books and dvd's, which used to be my major vices, don't elicit the same excitement.. as gifts, yes, but not so much as something I feel the need to purchase myself.

I get a lot more excitement out of A) being gifted something really cool that I'd generally never justify buying myself B) A successful barter or bargain-find for something I generally wouldn't justify buying myself at full price - yes, I'm a yard-sale, free-cycle, value village/sally ann junkie.  C) finding something really awesome, handmaid and one-of-a-kind that I wouldn't be able to find in a big corporate box store.  Something with a story behind it.

On one hand, I pity people who are tasked with having to buy me gifts for whatever occasion. On the other hand, my interests are pretty varied, and I'm not picky, plus you know that saying 'Champagne Tastes on a Beer Budget?'.. I'm like, 'bathtub moonshine on a beer budget', so that being said, maybe I'm not such a terrible person to buy for.

One last thing.  Our mall?  Sad.  Sad sad sad.  only about 50% of the units are open, and they're mostly big chain stores.. I went there today, and it looked about as busy as a normal mall on any given day.  I've heard the rent is exhorbitantly high and that's why none of the stores but the big ones can afford to stay open.  I'd love to meet the owners and say "Hey, congratulations on single-handedly crippling the local enconomy... Kudos!"

A single mother's christmas eve.

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, 
the demon cats were chasing some invisible mouse

The children were playing though they should be in bed,
Believing that their giggling was over my head

With Chevy Chase on the TV and a nice glass of wine
I just had to wrap one more present, or nine.

When out in the hallway there arose a clatter

The youngest AGAIN has to empty her bladder

The oldest kid asks for another glass of water
As my patience gets thin and my temper gets hotter

"Santa won't come if you're still out of bed! 
So on with your jammies or I'll be knockin' heads!"

Jumping and running like their butts are on fire
They dive under the covers, they know it's now dire

'fore sleep takes over I have to wrap these things quick

Life's not always easy when you're playin' 'St. Nick'

Their stocking are hung in their bedroom with care

Now how do I sneak all the goodies in there?

Stumbling on Barbies I curse quietly, but a lot
I hope these kids know what a good mother they've got.

Stockings all filled and presents are wrapped,
I really could go for a twelve-hour nap,

Though worth it to see their little faces alight,
Wake me when it's Christmas, I'm calling it a night.


I left out the part about how gross milk is that's been out for two hours, while you wait for them to get to sleep.  Cookies were pretty good though.

As was this three page missive complete with margin notes they left for Santa.

Dear Santa

The stockings are in our room on our above our dresser.  They Have our names on them.  Hope the cookies are good.  Love Tierney.

P.S. How do you get in our house at night.  We don't have a chimny.  

Here's some spongebob characters for you.

Reagan's Note: If you see the cats doin rong, Spray them -->
Dear Santa can you put the presents aside the tree please. Sorry for the mess for the tree we have four kittens cats and one big one and his name is Spartacuss and if your asking if the one that is big is the one messing up the tree he is not!   I was not yelling at you santa.  Like my sister said hope you like the cookies they are only for you.  The'll be on the end table and we bot the cookies because our oven is not working.  How are the reindeer doing? Reagans Note: I don't think we have cookies.

Love Reagan.  

P.s. how is mrs. claus doing and you?
Yeah, Me, being awesome, forgot to buy cookies so we had to borrow cookies from Grammy to leave for Santa.  Gotta love the grocery store/LCBO/office supply outlet of Mom and Dad.


One quick Christmas rant about Christmas and Holiday songs.

Contemporary Artists covering Christmas classics - Good.

Unless you are some 18 year old kid trying to cover the Pogues' Fairytale of New York.  You don't sound old enough to know what a drunk tank is, let alone spend Christmas Eve in one.  But generally, it works, even if it's kitchy as all hell, like when Axl sings White Christmas.

Contemporary Artists composing Original christmas tunes- Mostly Good, although there is the potential for disaster.

I've had fun listening to people bitch about the myriad covers of Wham's Last Christmas, although I maintain that the Jimmy Eat World version is bearable, if not enjoyable.  If you've never heard Better Than Ezra's Merry Christmas Eve, listen and if you do not even mist up a bit, then you are a robot.  I myself enjoy the songs that poke fun at the traditions of the season like Blink 182's I Won't Be Home For Christmas or The Vandals' Grandpa's Last Christmas.

Contemporary Artists Reworking their Hits into Christmas Songs - BAD.  ALWAYS BAD.

Why the hell do they do this??  It's no wonder they mocked the practice terribly in Love Actually.  If there is anything that makes me want to collectively burn an artist's complete music catalog, it's hearing them cash in on a previous hit by Christmasing it up.

I'm looking at you, Bachman Turner Overdrive.

So it's no longer Christmas Eve, it's now Boxing day and I'm sitting at my computer in my underwear, enjoying a silent house and the lovely 11 hours of sleep I got last night after a hectic week.  Yesterday was indeed a lovely day.

I'm going to brag for a minute, bear with me.

But holy hell, I am a lucky mom.  I spent the day marvelling at my girls and how well-behaved and polite they were all day.  I think I (and yes, I suppose *exaggerated sigh* the ex-hub and new-wife have to take some credit here too) must be doing something right, because when present time came - at 6 AM *grumble* - they made sure to take turns opening gifts, remembered their hugs and thank yous when opening the ones I gave them, and even wanted to make sure I had something to open.  I had cleverly marked one of the gifts to all three of us (The Tick Season 1 and Season 2 - SQUEEE!!), so they let me open that one.

They also didn't destroy the house with their gifts while I went back to bed for an hour.  I had been up until 1 am two nights in a row doing last minute wrapping, and of all things, refinishing a jewellery box. Yeah.  See, the girls had both asked me for one, and I had planned to buy them both one from Lori at A Vintage Witch, but ran into a snag when the second box was nowhere to be found.  So rather than give up on the jewellery box idea, I got it into my head that I could take one of the girls old broken ones and fix it up.  In two days. Because I'm a masochist like that.

Here's the thing... not having a lot of money and and spending a lot of time saying 'no' or 'not likely' to the girls various Christmas requests ("Oh, you want a iPod Touch?  Good luck with that...") and then they ask me for something that's actually well within my grasp, then sure as hell I'm gonna try to come through.  The one I did wasn't nearly as nice as Lori's but I think it turned out well anyway.
Care of Lori
My last minute jobbie, that nearly killed me
Anyway, I digress.

Later when we went to my parents and there were more presents to open, they waited patiently for my sister and her kids to show up so we could open the rest, without complaining.  That's not normal.  My Grandma asked me how I did it and I told her "Regular Beatings, and Drugs.  Lots of Behaviour Modifying Drugs."

Hell, I didn't have a better answer.

I'll also add here that I'm lucky to come from a fairly functional family.   Little to no fighting, everybody gets along, everyone is gracious when it comes to gift time.  I'm really glad that holiday time doesn't come with a lot of undue stress that tends to be part and parcel of when you dread gathering your family in any way.

I wish everyone could be so lucky.  Hope anyone reading this had a good Christmas, and barring that, an enjoyable secular day off.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Secret Santa, Office Style

Once again, I consider myself lucky to work with a great bunch of people.  We did our Secret Santa christmas exchange today, which generally has two parts.. opening the gifts, then trying to figure out who bought yours.  I was a little worried about my own choice this year.  The guy whose name I got, well, we have some unfortunate history.  Living in a small town, this is not a rare occurence.  Hell it's pretty much guaranteed to not six, but more likely 2 degrees of separation.

At any rate, myself and who we'll call Mr. R (as in Recipient) have the unfortunate history of having gone to high school together, and we were not exactly what you'd call bestest buddies.  I think it'd be pretty safe to say we hated each other.  He was mean to me, and I can admit, I was a pretty malicious bitch to him as well.

I am not proud.

So roughly 2-3 years ago, Mr. R comes to work with us, which was pretty awkward for me.  I decided rather than get all weird, I'd take the mindset that "Hey, high school was 10 years ago.  I've grown up in that time, it's entirely possible he has too."  Thankfully, I've not been wrong about that, but I think the concern may have been mutual, because for a long long time around the office, we were excruciatingly polite to one another, to the point that it's kind of funny to look back on now.

So, gift-buying for someone with whom you once shared a mutual loathing can be harrowing.  Humorous gifts are tricky because what you think is funny could be construed by another as a passive-agressive declaration of war.  Or maybe I just overthink.  Anyway,   I think I did okay with bike-themed buttons.  Not my most inspired gift idea, and it would have been more effective if they had gotten here in time for the exchange, but Canada Post is an imperfect institution.

Myself, I was gifted with a set of guitar strings (with bonus decal! more stickers for Juicy Fruit!) and a bag of little round chocogasm balls.. I mean Lindor chocolates.  I had a hard time guessing who my gifter was, since i think it's almost common knowledge that I play guitar, but through the process of elimination it was eventually figured out.

MY guitar strings are celebrity endorsed.. are yours?

There was a bacon theme with the gifts this year, with at least four people receiving bacon-themed gifts.  My personal favorite was the bacon T-shirt one girl recieved.  Keep in mind my T-shirt fascination.

The first year I was with this company, we did the gift exchange, and I made a royal ass of myself.  At this point, I had been doing the weight watcher thing for about 8 months and had lost about 25 lbs, through busting my ass.

So I was admittedly less than thrilled to have been gifted with what was possibly the biggest motherfucking tin of cookies I had ever seen in my entire life.  Pretty and decorative, and yummy but holy shit, this tin was GINORMOUS.  There must have been 500 cookies in the damn thing.  Really?

I tried to be gracious about it, but I was admittedly not doing a good job.  Part of me wondered if my gifter was some insensitive thoughtless person just went "Oh, I got the fat chick.  Fat chicks like cookies, I'll just get cookies."  So when I found out that my gifter was a co-worker who I actually like and respect a lot, I felt like a complete assbag because A) he was sitting right behind me as I made my not so-successful attempt at graciousness; and B) because this person would not have given cookies for lack of any better idea, but would have because to them, cookies would be THE BEST GIFT EVER.  So yeah, I've felt kind of bad for that ever since.

If you stumble across this, I'm a jackass, my apologies.

Oddly enough, I'm trying to remember who I had to buy for that first year, and I've been drawing a total blank.

Posted in response to a post by Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka.  Go, Read, and Love.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

BRAF. That is all.

Got a bug, it seems.

I had to leave my kick-boxing class early last night.  I was feeling kind of gross and bloaty upon leaving work, but I chalked it up to coffee OD.  Usually some hearty excercise is enough to get me feeling better.  However, after warm up and a round of jabbing and crossing while madly leaping around the room, I felt rather nauseated, and my body was hurting but not the good way it usually does during class.  So after attempting another round of increasingly high kicks and round houses, I decided I needed to go home.

By the time I got home I felt absolutely terrible and shaky.  I threw on a movie (rewatched The Trotsky - you can see my review here), and nearly fell asleep during it.  After putting the girls to bed, I tried to sit up a bit, then promptly ran to the bathroom and threw up, after which my body temperature dropped about 6 billion degrees and I was shaking uncontrollably.

In opposition to my usual night-owlishness, I went to bed around 9:45, under my duvet and a couple more layers of blankets.  I dreamed weird dreams, of which I remember little except for their weirdness.  Woke up drenched in sweat, and cursing my alarm (what else is new?)  For reasons unknown, even after a dizzy spell in the shower I still made my way into work.  Chomping back some ibuprofen seemed to help with the aches, but now I'm home and chilly and gross again.

The kids are eating Pizza mini's for dinner, because I'm totally half-assing it on the mom front tonight.  I'm hoping they clean their room without a fight, because frankly I'm too blah to really argue about it.

Time to retire to the chesterfield.  Yes, I said chesterfield.  This bugger is too damn big, heavy and unweildly to settle for the mere label of couch.

All shall quiver in the face of the immensity that is the


Sunday, December 19, 2010

But I'm using my whole ass!

Lies.  No, I'm not.  Frankly, I'm a follower, and who doesn't want a donkey on their blog, at least once?  So a ala the Simple Dude, here is my half-assed weekend post.  Go visit Simple Dude and give him some love, since he has given me a donkey.

I'm attempting to scan some pics so I can list some new goodies on my Etsy store, 100 Watt Smirks.  My scanner is temperamental.  It was gifted to me by Lori at A Vintage Witch, which was super cool of her.  I wonder how many people I can pimp in one half-assed post.  However at some point in time one of the demon cats knocked the damn thing off the desk.  So now, mid-scan, it starts clicking and making godawful noises and I have to give it a good thump to get it back in order.  It still scans better than my craptacular HP 3-in-1.  Hewlett Packard, you suck.  I may keep an eye out for a nice little printer so I can get rid of the 3-in-1 completely because honestly, the thing is junk.  Trying to use the software grinds my entire system to a halt, which is a giant pain when all I want to do is resize a couple of pictures.

My campaign to win back @jplaskett to my Twitter-fold was an utter failure.  *sigh*  Not only did it not take off and become the internet meme of the decade, but it didn't even warrant a courtesy 'Will you STFU and leave me alone' follow.  Even Jann Arden threw me a bone, when I hinted.

Today is laundry day.  Taking kids to the Seventh circle of hell to get some Xmas portraits taken today.  Time to take this ass and put some pants on it.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The post-modern Everyman

After a conversation with a co-worker, I've reached the conclusion that the greatest example of the modern-day Everyman is this:

Arthur.  The Tick's timid yet level headed sidekick. He lives a rather mundane existence.  Some unknown part of him longs to break out,  for excitement, for intrigue.
He wants to be a hero.
Arthur.  A shining example of the post-modern everyman.

He is the voice of reason.  The Ego to the Tick's Mighty Blue Id (the pleasure principle being the joy The Tick derives from the unending fight for Good - Honk if you love Justice!)

Having set his goal and made his decisions, he faces battle, albeit reluctantly, screaming "Not in the face! Not in the face!"  He is torn between his safe, non-descript existence and his yearning for adventure.  Although he may appear a coward, Arthur is a realist.  He looks fear in the face and although he may cower, he still flies forth.

He embodies the crisis of masculinity.  He's brains over brawn.  In the Tick Vs. Arthur, he has difficulty negotiating his masculinity when it is given a new dimension.  He feels powerless, but his empathy with the little guy keeps him from embracing his darker tendencies.

I don't know where I was going with this, honestly. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

More Exclusionist Xmas B.S. Hooray.

We can't say Merry Christmas, we have to say Happy Holidays. We can't call it a Christmas tree, it's now called a Holiday tree??? Because it might offend someone! If you don't like our "Canadian Customs" and it offends you so much then LEAVE!! They are called Canadian customs because we live in Canada and WE HAVE OUR OWN TRADITIONS!! If you agree with this, please post this as your status and MERRY CHRISTMAS EH!!!
 So, this is one of the recent 'put this as your status if you agree' Facebook tropes going around at the moment.  Putting aside my general annoyance at the bandwagon-hoppingness (yes, I make my own words) of the copy/paste status and its illustration of the herd mentality (seriously, try having an original thought, folks.. even if you are just putting the same thought into your own words), this one I find both offensive and and innacurate.
  • We can't say Merry Christmas, we have to say Happy Holidays. 
Bullshit.  You're more than welcome to say Merry Christmas.  It's not like a law was passed, outlawing the term.  But as I talked about last week, Happy Holidays is a nice way to acknowledge that A) there's more than one holiday this time of year and B) not everyone celebrates Christmas.  But no one is putting a gun to your head.
  •  We can't call it a Christmas tree, it's now called a Holiday tree???

As far as Holiday trees go, do I think it's silly that Toronto City hall or whoever decided to call the tree out front a Holiday tree rather than a Christmas tree?  Oh heck yes.  Dumb.  But that's their choice, in a (admittedly lame) attempt to be inclusionary.  Incidentally though, the only references online to the City Hall Holiday Tree were blogs that were complaining about it.   One article I found (and I did not know this) gave me the impression that former Mayor Mel "Bad Boy" Lastman, reversed that decision, back in 2002.  So, yes, Virginia, you can say Christmas Tree.
  •  If you don't like our "Canadian Customs" and it offends you so much then LEAVE! 
Ohh, this reeks of 'why don'tcha come back where you came from??' mentality.  This makes the assumption that the people who don't celebrate and who are 'getting offended' are immigrants.   What about Jewish people whose families have been here for generations?  Pagans?  Atheists?  Where exactly do these people go?  As Canadians, do their own customs not fall under the umbrella as 'Canadian customs?'  Does one have to subscribe to Christianity to be Canadian?  Not according to the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
  • They are called Canadian customs because we live in Canada and WE HAVE OUR OWN TRADITIONS
I've always operated with the understanding that another one of our Canadian customs was.. oh.. hrm.. what's it called again?  Oh yeah, I remember...


Canadians are not of any one cultural background, race or heritage. Instead, Canadians today reflect a vast diversity of cultural heritages and racial groups. This multicultural diversity is a result of centuries of immigration. - About Canada - Multiculturalism in Canada
 So yeah.. my point?  Christmas is a tradition enjoyed by many Canadians, but is not inherent to being Canadian.  There are many Canadians who do not celebrate, yet still remain Canadians, whether they are first, second, third, fourth or 23rd generation Canadians.  Say Merry Christmas if you like, Say Happy Holidays if you like.  No one is stopping you.  But to tell others if they don't like it, leave, just makes you sound like a racist asshole, mmkay?  Because seriously, when was the last time someone came up to YOU and gave you shit for saying Merry Christmas?
 And Happy Holidays to you too. 

Like, really guys??

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

WWWednesday - has been pre-empted

WWWednesday will not be seen this week.  The pinkeye has kept me from the meeting, plus I'm still iffy on this whole PointsPlus thing.  No, I'm annoyed, honestly.

Oh.  And I'm pretty sure I've eaten about a million cookies this week... so it's better that I don't know.

Rough week.

All I want for Christmas is to be an Internet Meme

I feel so used.

This morning, as I read my email, I was on top of the world.  I had been notified that I was being followed by Joel Plaskett, of the Joel Plaskett Emergency on my Twitter account.  Oh what bliss.  I went to look at my followers, but he was nowhere to be found.  Crushed I realized I had been Twitted and dumped. 

Wham bam, thank you, Twit.

I've embarked on a campaign to win my way back into Mr. Plaskett's good graces, but I need help.  I've created the hashtag #comebackjoelplaskett and I'm asking everyone to post a tweet, linked to @jplaskett with said hashtag. 

What do you get out of this?  Admittedly, not much.   You get to kill some time, and add some content to your own Twitter feeds.  You may also get to be part of what could potentially be the greatest internet meme since.. well.. That friggin' dancing Hamster.   Or it could simply be a time-killer perpetuated by a girl stuck working at home with pinkeye.  But what do you have to lose?

Don't be a tease, Joel.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I'm working from home today as I think I may have contracted pinkeye from my friend's child, and none of my co-workers need to catch that shit.  That's the logical conclusion I've reached, anyway, since i woke up this morning and my left eye was beet red, with some goo, and itchy as all hell.  (I think, if there is a hell, there'd be plenty of itching involved, as it's definitely one of the more irritating sensations one can have).

I've come to the conclusion that I love the idea of working from home, but in my current profession, the reality doesn't match the fantasy.  I miss the double screen at work, and in my wee cubicle, there's no piles of laundry and dirty floors mocking me.  Those are someone else' problem.  And it's a snow day, so the ladies are here, and unnaturally loud.  Distracting.

I set myself up my first Etsy Treasury yesterday.  I'm a bit of a comic nerd (not hardcore or anything.. my budget doesn't really allow for it) but I love stuff with superhero themes.  Go, look, comment, click on stuff.  Apparently the more comments, the more of a chance that it gets featured on the home page.  I'm at 15 clicks right now.

I've got a few things ready to list soon.  I'm going to try and list a bunch of stuff at the same time, as I don't find I get much traffic listing one or two things at a time.  I have two new switchplates, one featuring Deadpool and one made from an old cover of the cassette version of Guns N Roses Lies EP.  I haven't taken pictures of these yet. 

About a year ago I bought three small pier 1 frames at the Salvation army that I knew i could do something fun with.  Finally inspiration struck, and I came up with these:

I got the idea from  I'm hoping that having pimped their site, they'll hesitate before sending me out a cease and desist order like the one I received from the estate of Shel Silverstein.

It was fantastic staying in last Friday and just having a few glasses of wine and creating.  I have a few painting ideas, and some ideas for coaster sets.  I wish I had thought of this stuff before Christmas, but such is life.  Up goes the tree tonight.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Today's Dream

I'm sitting for a friend's son who is a bit older than my eldest child.  He's a little wound up today.  I ask him to pick up some toys that are scattered around.  With a yell he jumps into the pile but knocks a large wooden bookcase over and it lands on him.  After a moment's panic, I reach down and with seemingly superhuman strength, I lift the bookcase off him.  Despite the size and weight of the bookcase, and the fact it was covered with any number of breakable glass Christmas ornaments, he's miraculously unscathed but understandably frightened.  I give him a hug and he's calmed right down.

I may be reading too much Comics Curmudgeon?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

My child begins her career in municipal politics

Today was a shitty day.

After spending 8+ hours christmas shopping and then attending a small wedding celebration and then dancing, 'cause you know, I'm a masochist and all, I was looking forward to some Sunday down-time.

I woke up to it snowing like a bitch.  I have yet to procure any snow tires for my car, so the ride was harrowing at best.  Plus I just had a conversation I was not prepared for and am now in a position where I can choose between putting myself in a hugely uncomfortable situation and disappointing a small child who had nothing to do with said situation.  Hooray.  But that's all I'll say on that.  Stopping at the grocery store on the way home, I got stuck TWICE trying to get up the hill from the Foodland to my house.  Not even on the steep part.  I can get around the steep part, but how do I get home if I can't get my car up a bloody slight incline?  So I curse, and I weep and I struggle to get my car turned around without blowing out the engine.

I end up driving all over hells half-acre so I can get home without facing any incline greater than, oh, say, 35 degrees.  Oh and when I got home, as I was doing laundry, the sink backed up all over the kitchen counter.  And the eldest child got into the trunk of the car and saw one of her christmas presents. Banner effin' day.

This, however, cheered me up.   My oldest took it upon herself to write a letter to the town in regards to their road maintenance.  It's a very well-thought out letter for a nine-year-old, all bias aside.

Dear Tay Township

I theink that you should plow all the road's [sic] in victaoria harbour. first of all, some people don't have snow tires so they wouldn't dbe able to go to there homes. secound, what if theres a fire or sombodys hurt and the parimedical fire truck dont have snows tirers thirdly my mom who dosn't have any snow tires couldn't get out of foodland. So thats why you should plow allthe roads in Victoria Harboure. Sincerly,

Age 9
I love that kid.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

This post is like me. Short and sweet.

So I'm doing a Facebook 30-day photo challenge and day 19 is a photo and a letter.  I enjoyed writing this so much I thought it'd make a fun blog post.

Dear Owner of this ginormous White Pickup Truck.

You don't know me. I don't know you. But I feel it is my duty as a fellow human being to let you know.. there is no more blatant way to advertise yourself as a douchebag redneck of epic proportion than to hang a pair of artificial testicles from the back of your giant redneck-mobile.

I can't even begin to describe all the different negative stereotypes that flood my brain when I see this kind of dumbassery. Uneducated, backwards, mysogynist, whiskey-swilling, wife-beating, date-rapin' sumbitch. Now, you may not be ANY of these things. But when you choose to hang a ballsack from the back of your truck, this is the impression that you are giving to at least ONE person, if not everyone.

Is that what you really want to project to those around you? I ask, because I care. And because everytime I see this, some small part of me wants to key your vehicle, just for fun.

A concerned bystander.


I'm frustrated right now, because part of me wants to paint, and another part wants to sleep.  I had such a horrible time waking up this morning.  It's winter at work.  I hit the snooze button 4,693 times it seemed, each time cursing it, cursing the snow, the cold, and just wanting to snuggle up inside my duvet and sleep.  It's still dark, frchristssake. Getting up without an alarm is such a luxury.

I haven't painted or made anything in a bit.  I'm feeling creative, but bogged down with just too much to do.  I'm not even in the holiday spirit.  This isn't my usual 'Bah Humbug' not-in-the-spirit type thing.  It just feels like an afterthought this year.  Like, 'Oh, yeah.  Christmas.  Right, I should get on that.'  I don't have my lights up or anything.  Just haven't really thought about it much.  

I'm determined to make some time for painting or something this weekend.  Just because.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

WWWednesday - A corporation is a corporation...

.. is a corporation.

Oh yeah.  Down 1 lb this week.  *slow clap*

I'm feeling disillusioned with the program this week, but on a scale much grander than my usual "This is hard, wahhhhh" type disillusionment.

So Weight Watchers rolled out their new Points Plus program this week.  The difference here is supposed to be where the old Points program assigned foods a points value based on a food's fibre, calories and fat contents, the new system also incorporates protein and carbohydrate contents into the points value.  As a result some foods, such as fruits, go down in value and some go up.

I mean, in theory it makes sense, right?  Sure.

Here's what irks me.  In the four years I've been with this program, I have been witness to no less than four program roll-outs.  I have paid enough money (not even including recipe books and guides) into the program that I could probably bank roll the education of all of Fluorine Mark's children and still had enough for a nice dinner.  Myself, being the el cheapo I am, haven't bothered much with the peripherals of the program.. the measuring spoons, the fancy journals, the walking tapes, the fancy electronic points calculators.. no, aside from the initial food guides the first year I joined and 2-3 recipe books, I pretty much pay my weekly fees and that's it.

Boy sometimes I'm glad to be a tightwad.

Back to the reason for my aggravation.  Basically, this new points system renders all the old books, accessories, trackers, calculators absolutely moot and irrelevant.  And if there is one thing that gets my plus-sized panties in a bunch, it's planned fucking obsolescence.

So those people who did shell out for the fancy calculators, the food guides, and all that fun stuff, have got to do it again.  With the old program, you could get the fancy calculator or you could use the paper sliding graph that was provided with your WW package.  Now because of all the variables involved, they couldn't effectively design a paper slider, so you pretty much HAVE to buy the fancy electronic calculator.  They were marked down from $15 to $5 as a promotion for the opening week.  I bought one, but I was NOT happy about it.

An early version of the paper points finder.

Fancy pants electronic calculator.  Yes, I totally stole this pic from Amazon.  That's what the little camera means.
Frankly, the whole thing seems like a money-grab to me, and I said this to the ladies at the meeting today.  Let's change the whole program around, and bring in all new tools and materials.

Let's face it, although it touts itself as a lifestyle, and a support group, it's foolish to forget that above all Weight Watchers is a giant money-making machine, a corporation.  Sure it looks good on paper, in all reality, no matter what your mission statement may be, we know in the corporate world that the real mission is getting as much money out of the little guy (or the bigger gal) as humanly possible.

I've got some thinking to do.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Problem with "Happy Holidays"

.. what is it?

Really?  I heard a radio program this morning bemoaning the growing acceptance and tendencies towards acknowledging the 'holiday season' instead of just Christmas.   Later, I was struck by a couple of articles relating to the backlash against the use of the greeting "Happy Holidays".  The first from Vicki at Glitterfrog tells of her experience of witnessing a woman at a local store berating the cashier for wishing a 'Happy Holidays' instead of a 'Merry Christmas'.
She berated this cashier for attempting to "take Christ out of Christmas so she wouldn't offend some Muslim". Notice the quotation marks. That means it's a QUOTE. 
First, I'm not sure Jesus would have had such an issue with making an effort to include others.

Now as you may know from my Halloween rant, I'm not a fan of taking away from people's right to celebrate holidays and I don't think we should take away from traditions for the sake of a level playing field.  But the thing is, saying "Happy Holidays" or having it said to me, does NOTHING to take away from my ability to enjoy Christmas.

The truth of the matter is that there is more than just one holiday this time of year.  There's a veritable shmorgasbord of different celebrations in and around the month of December and personally, I think Happy Holidays is more than appropriate.  Why get all up in arms about it?  Are folks afraid that we're going to lose our precious white judeo-christian privelidge by utilizing a more generic greeting that allows everyone to take part in the warm fuzzies of the season?"

I've been asked before "Doesn't it make you mad that you have to say Happy Holidays or Seasons Greetings?"

First off, I don't have to.  I'm totally within my rights to operate on the assumption that everyone operates on the same belief systems.. but I don't.  Because people don't.  And yeah, a lot of people would be fine with me saying Merry Christmas even if Hannukah or Kwanzaa or Yule was more their thing.   I myself have never been berated by anyone for wishing a Merry Christmas, not knowing that they may not celebrate.  A few years ago, however, have an incident where I enthusiastically told one of my University profs to have a great Christmas, with a response of a raised eyebrow and a 'Uh.. yeah.. you too.' and a vague air of awkwardness.  This prof had made mention in class a number of times of his Jewish heritage, so irritation towards my faux pas was understandable.  As he walked away I remember slapping my forehead and calling myself a jackass.  That was when I changed my mind on the 'Happy Holidays' thing.

So no, it doesn't make me mad at all.  Why fuss over something that's still essentially just a nice thing to say to people?

I think Simple Dude puts it pretty well:
Vicki was saying that we've gone too far when we rip someone for saying Happy Holidays and I absolutely agree.  I may be wrong, but isn't that person saying something NICE to you?  It's not like they are telling you to "Have a Shitty Day and Go Fuck Yourself!" 
And isn't it actually more appropriate to say Happy Holidays now in early December than Merry Christmas anyway?  We're still nearly three weeks out.  People don't start wishing me a Happy Birthday a month before my birth date. 
As well, the people such as the woman in Vicki's store who are up in arms about the Happy Holidays thing 'taking the Christ out of Christmas'.. well, I think you may be better served getting up in arms at Corporate (North) America who have long been taking focus away from the (chronologically innacurate) birth of Christ and placing it solely at the altar of mass consumerism.  Let's not even get started on the decidedly non-Christian and very Pagan symbols and rites that were long ago appropriated for the season.
I'm no theologian, but based on what little I do know about Jesus' teachings and the 'true meaning' of Christmas, I think Happy Holidays or Season's Greetings or any such thing that takes into consideration the reality that not everyone celebrates Christmas is in and of itself a way, through simple consideration of the feelings of others,  of promoting Peace on Earth and Good Will Towards Your Fellow Man.

Monday, December 6, 2010

God help us all..

Dear Buyer,

When an email from a seller says 'Smartphone Sent', it indicates that the email has been sent from a Smartphone.

It does NOT mean that he is sending you a Smartphone.

Relax, already.

The HelpDesk.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Xmas party day woooo!

One of the benefits of working for a smaller company as opposed to a giant corporate conglomerate is that you get to have fun while you work.  I've never worked for any corpo-giants, but I've heard it sucks pretty hard.

Generally when I complain about my job, I'm generally complaining about the actual duties involved, especially on the CSR end of it.  I'm actually pretty fortunate that I get to work in an environment where I genuinely like everyone I work with.  It's a pretty fun bunch.

For Friday afternoon, HR organized a bit of a scavenger hunt/poker run for the afternoon.  We got to team up and (literally) run around town figuring out clues and trying to beat the others back to the office.  Since the rules didn't specifically say NOT to use a car, I got to do a bit of stunt driving.  Which was probably good, since I'm not a runner.  Although at one point the other girl on my team and I did end up running for about two and a half blocks, which for me, is pretty impressive.  I could NEVER have done that a few years ago.  Or hell, a few months ago.

As it turned out, even with my wicked awesome stunt driving, we ended up being the third team back to the office.  However, we did manage to score the highest poker hand.  Go Team Blitzen!

The run didn't last as long as anticipated so we all went back to work to finish up last-minute-before-the-weekend stuff, but still got to get out relatively early.  Headed to my friends place so we could get ready and all dolled up.

I clean up kinda nice.
Similar to weddings, bringing a date to a staff function when you're not engaged in any kind of long-term relationship can be a tricky thing.   There's those possibilities that they'll be bored, or sullen, or get obnoxiously drunk and that you'll end up wishing you just went by yourself.

Fortunately, this was not an issue.  My date and I had a lot of fun, and he got along well with everyone, and I was glad to have brought him.  If you see this, good on ya ;-)

As with each the past 3-4 years I've been with this company (this was my fourth staff party) they put on a really nice night.  Good spread, I had a rather excellent stuffed chicken and a chocolate mousse for dessert.

High Class Noms.
One of our graphic designers set up a project and had jib-jabbed the entire staff into a roughly 20 minute presentation featuring every single staff member.  Some of the images may be burned into my retinas for years to come.  To clarify, I'm sure most have see those 'Elf Yourself' musical numbers that come around at christmas and get more and more elaborate with each passing year?  That's what I mean when I say we were 'jib-jabbed'.

Each staff member also got a personalized nameplate complete with witty caption related to each persons position, quirk, foible or favorite saying.  Mine was 'Please sir, I just need you to FOCUS.'

In customer service land this apparently is an acronym for 'Eff Off Cuz U Suck'.  It's handy.

There were gifts and speeches and I have a lovely giftcard and bottle of wine.  Twas a good night.  If the management is reading this, thanks and good on ya!  

In relation to past parties, this was one of the rowdier years.   After dinner was over, about half the staff headed out to a.. sorry, THE local bar (we lack night life) and I'm pretty sure we made up about half the patrons at Bleachers that night.  There was much dancing to be had.

The next morning I got up semi early as my youngest (who was with her dad this weekend) was scheduled to be in the Santa Claus parade.  Post-night-out roughness notwithstanding, I made arrangements to hitch a ride into town with my mom and sister as the my car was still at the restaurant from the night before.  How responsible am I??  No drinking and driving for this girl.  The weather was dead cold and I had quite the headache (I don't think I mentioned the open bar...) and normally I hate parades.  With the exception of the Toronto Zombie Walk and the Toronto Pride Parade.   But parades in the wind and cold are bullshit, esp when not feeling your best.

So I hope the little knows how much her mom likes her.

I said to my sister "I'm not gonna lie.  As soon as I see R's float go by, I'm leaving."  Karma must have heard me because it would be my luck that she was on the LAST EFFIN' FLOAT.  An hour and half I swear I was in the cold.   Ahh well.  It was worth it though as she looked so happy to get to ride up on the float with Santa of all people.  Just adorable.  I'd post pics but I'm wary of even using my kids' names here, let alone posting pics.  But take my word for it, she was about as cute as it gets.

Freezing cold I made my way back to the car to find it blocked in by a large cube van.  Lovely.  By the time the car warmed up though, someone came and moved it.  Went to Barrie, did some christmas shopping, visited some friends on the way home.  Today I launder and clean and blog and eventually pick my kids up.  Going to town to watch a friend's girls sing in a choir thing, so with the roads being so shitty, I don't really want to go into town twice.  I'm soooo shelling out for snow tires or even all seasons this year.

these boots...

When I was 18 I was hospitalized with my first bout of colitis and one big motherfucking blood clot in my left leg.  It stretched from behind my knee, right up into my abdomen.   The hospital I stayed at said it was the biggest clot they had seen anyone survive.

In the major leg artery there are valves that are pushed open each time your heart pumps blood through your system, then close when at rest.  These valves serve to distribute the blood in your leg evenly because otherwise, all the blood pools in your ankles

The anticoagulants I was given to dissolve the clot in my leg, also served to dissolve these valves.  As a result, my left calf is perma-swollen and about 1.5cm bigger in diameter than the right.  It's not a huge side effect other than being vaguely unsightly, especially if I am on my feet all day.

Boots, however, are a problem.  

I can't find boots that fit me, especially dressy kinds.  High boots.  It's kind of disheartening, especially with winter here.  I want to get dressed up, don't want to freeze my little toes off in pumps or sandals.. feel like a jackhole dancing in running shoes (weird I know).. and some days, especially now being lighter than I was, I want to wear some nice, tall, shit-kicking hooker boots.  But if I find one that fits one leg, chances are they won't fit the other leg.

One day, when I am independently wealthy, having married and divorced a number of rich benefactors, or having won the lottery that I never play, or having patented some brilliant invention, I will have a collection of high-boots, custom made for my wonky-assed legs.

One in every color, baby.

Hooker boots up to HERE    ----------------------->

I'm gonna have boots so high, I can go friggin' TROUT FISHING in them.

Hip waders?  I don't need no hip waders. Got my hooker boots, thanks.

"What's that baby?  You want me to keep the boots on?  I'm glad you said that, since it'd probably take me three hours to get them off."

Mine will be the greatest high boots ever known to man.  They shall rule over all other boots, who will quiver in the face of their mighty tallness.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Reverse Objectification Thursday and other stuff.

We're not Elvis anymore.
We're not Frankie in his wild years

We're not Tina's glorious comeback
We're not us.

That's the chorus from Tina's Glorious Comeback by Dan Mangan, a song I have probably listened to about a dozen times today, and played on guitar another half-dozen and I can't get enough of it.  I can not get over this guys' vocals, and the songs are so simple, yet often beautiful, or just catchy as hell.  I've said it once and I've said it before, I would like to hunt this man down and marry him and have ridiculously cute and talented DanManganBabies (tubal ligation reversal pending).

Reverse Objectification Thursday, since I won't be able to blog tomorrow.
Adorable, innhe?

Got the staff xmas party tomorrow night.  Promises to be a pretty good time.  Learning from last year, I've secured a place to get ready so I don't have to drive all the way back to the Harbour and back.  I've ensured I don't run into the same issues I had last year, when I decided to stay in town due to some pretty intense snow squalls.  However upon arriving at my friend/co-workers house, I discovered I was missing my make up, as well as my shoes.  And that the two pairs of nylons I had brought both had giant runs in them.  I had brought two different outfits to wear, one a pants suit and the other a pretty hot dress, and by the end of the work day, really had my heart set on the dress.

So I drove through the snow (sans snow tires) to get more nylons, and pick up the minimal amount of make up I would need, and maybe shoes if I could find some nice cheap ones.

I actually managed to find all these things, but there was one small problem.. with horror i realized that my bank card was sitting on my desk back at work, in the building that was all locked up (which was also where my shoes were).  With a sigh I decide to put the stuff on my credit card. Until I remember, again with horror, that my credit card is sitting on my desk at HOME.  The twenty dollars in my purse ends up being enough to cover my nylons and a tube of lipstick and cab fare home.

I get back to my friends place and rush to put my clothes on, only to rip a giant hole in the new nylons.  My cursing could probably have been heard for blocks.  Okay, pants suit it is, then.  Oh, yes, Pants suit and BOOTS.  not dressy boots either.  I'm hawt.

So this year I've got everything packed to avoid the same issues.  Two pairs of brand new light-tights, and an extra pair of shoes (the ones I want to wear are at work, but now i have a back-up pair).  So should be a good time.  Same venue as last year, one of the town's more upscale restaurants.  The company usually puts on a decent party.  There's talk of bar-hopping afterwards.  I love my co-workers.


I read on Exclaim! site today that Hard Core Logo 2 will be premiering at some film festival in Whistler, BC.   It kind of blew my mind that this was the first I had heard of it, considering that HCL is probably my favorite movie EVER.  I admit I'm pretty wary of getting too excited by this news.  In fact, I was a little disgusted, but i tend to have a bias against sequels since the vast majority of them are terrible.  It seems that the longer between a movie and a sequel the worse that sequel tends to be.  Plus, how to make a Hard Core Logo sequel without Hugh Dillon?  (not to give away any spoilers, but let's just say, Joe Dick won't be making any physical appearances in the sequel). 

However, I read on, and apparently the way it goes is that it's about a new band, whose singer is haunted by the memory of Joe Dick (shit, sorry, spoiler alert).  It could work. Or it could be fucking lame and horrible, and potentially ruin the original for me forever.  Bruce McDonald, do NOT let me down.

If you haven't seen Hard Core Logo, I recommend it.  Especially if you love rock and roll movies.  But don't believe the cover, it's not a comedy and it's not like Spinal Tap (except that it's a mockmentary about a fictional band.. but the comparison really stops there).  It's worth watching if only for Callum Keith Rennie's early 90's hawtness and the vaguely homoerotic undertones of the friendship between Joe Dick and Billy Tallent.

 Today my nine-year-old wore her bathing suit top under her clothes.  Why?  She wanted to feel like she was wearing a bra.

She's nine.  I'm so not ready to deal with a nine-year-old who is itching to grow up.  As a kid, I was more than content to stay my own age (hell, I'm still fine with not being a grown up).  I fought growing up.  I professed to believe in Santa Claus until I was 12.   By the time I finally let my mom buy me a bra I probably had cleavage (and yet I still went through the trauma of being the first kid in my class to wear one).  I didn't really date until I was 14 and even then, I barely did.

This one, however has been asking for a 'practice bra' for almost a year already.  How do I deal with a kid who in so many ways is 9 going on 16, yet in others is 9 going on 5 (like, in that innocent and trusting way)?  and is beautiful to boot, and is likely to be a beautiful teenager?  

Gah.  I didn't sign on for this.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

WWWednesday - No big surprises here.

Up 3.5 lbs this week.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  I can explain.

After last week's disappointment and subsquent breakdown, I decided I was going to take a much needed break.  A break from counting points, looking at nutrion labels, measuring stuff etc.  A break from meal planning.  A break from constantly thinking and being aware of every last thing that goes into my mouth.

I basically decided eff it, I'm going to eat what I want, when I want, for one week.  Wine.  Pizza.  McDonalds.  Pop.  Chips.  (there was some healthy stuff too.. I made fajitas one night..  pork chops and veggies another night - really my days weren't too far off, it was more the evenings where I had let loose)

Yeah. This pretty much sums up my week.
Yeah, I basically spent a week polluting myself.  And I'm paying for it.  But I tell ya, a gain after a week like this is a lot easier to take than busting my ass for a week and gaining.   I feel like I've earned this one.  YEah, it's gonna take like three weeks to lose this again, but I REGRET NOTHING.

What this has helped me realize is that this is why I need to stick with my program.  Because if I say screw it and go back to all my old habits, it's not going to be long at all before I'm back up to my old, unhealthy weight.  So I shall struggle on.  

It also made me aware of the changes in my body and appetite.  The night we went to McDonalds, I had a double-cheese burger and a small order of french fries and found myself stuffed to the point where I really was feeling uncomfortable and it occurred to me that where four years ago I'd still be hungry at that point, now I could have probably survived with just the burger.  Same goes with pizza.  I used to be able to eat 4-5 slices of a medium or large pizza and now I'm good, if not too full, after two.

So with these realizations in hand, I'm ready to get back on the program again.  Word has it that next week they're starting a new program and points values are also going to incorporate protein and carbohydrates and the like into the points values, which means a lot of things like fruit are going to have a zero value.  I'm not sure how i feel about it as it seems kind of arbitrary, but I'll give it a shot.

Until next week.. (okay, well obviously I'm going to post in between, but you know what i mean)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

They Won't Call You Shirley, Anymore.

From TMZ:
Legendary funny man Leslie Nielsen died today of complications of pneumonia in a hospital near his home in Fort Lauderdale, this according to his agent. He was 84.
Here's a better story from CBC News

We've lost a legend of comedy and a part of Canadian cinema's legacy.

I saw Naked Gun when I was around 8 and it was my first real foray into absurdist comedy.  Neilsen's deadpan delivery caught me, and kindled in me a love for the absurd.  From there I moved onto the films of Mel Brooks and Nielsen's own earlier work, Airplane.

In my opinion, he was under-rated as a dramatic actor, though.  One of my favorite roles was as Paul Gross' eccentric, 'shroom-growing, father in Men With Brooms.

As a country up until recently not particularly well known for our entertainers, Leslie Neilsen was someone I was proud to have represent our Nation in the entertainment industry.

Rest in Peace Mr. Nielsen.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Like a loan shark transaction gone awry

*originally posted August 4, 2008 at
I'm reposting this because I just found it, and I likes it.

In my dream I spilled cookies
On your mothers front porch
She thought I was stealing
I was passing the torch
Only trying to clean up
the mess that I left
You told me you loved me
then charged me with theft
"I thought love was a gift.
This seems more like a loan."
You said "Dear, love, I fear
is not something you own."

Copyright Andrea Lyn Cole 2008