Gonna let y'all in on a little secret, that I think most guys have secretly suspected for eons.
Women don't want nice guys.
Yeah, I said it. And before any of my sisters jump on me and call me a heretic/lunatic/any other manner of 'ic', hear me out.
What we are actually look for, only most of us don't realize it, are decent guys. The difference, you ask? The label of nice, over the past 20+ years (authors note: I am pulling this number out from a certain orifice located near the base of my spine) has come to imply a certain level of spinelessness. Basically the difference between decent and nice lies here:
Decent guys are the type who generally try to do what is right. Sometimes this involves pissing people off, and although a decent guy probably doesn't like pissing people off, he knows that sometimes it's a necessary evil.
Nice guys will try and do what will make other people happy. This is where the 'Nice guys finish last' idea comes into play. There is nothing wrong with trying to make people happy, but the reason nice guys finish last is that they tend to put themselves last, behind those around them that they are trying to please.
Meanwhile, you can put your own interests first and still be a 'decent' guy.. as long as your basic set of ethics comes into play. Guys who are not decent put themselves first without maintaining a level of morality or ethics.
I think the other universal that women are looking for is a guy who is interesting. I don't mean the type of interesting where you feel the need to make "air quotes". "Interesting" (the type with air quotes) sometimes can be interchangeable with sociopathic, emotionally fractured and in some cases downright psychotic. No, what I mean is just plain interesting.
I offer absolutely no advice on how to be interesting, because what interests women is an entirely personal thing. It varies widely from person to person. The good news is, is that with such variation, the odds of being interesting to some woman is pretty good.
In actuality, I think this theory can be applied to men as well, as well as both female and male same sex relationships. In the end I think what everyone is looking for is someone who is both decent and interesting. Those of you who have found it, hold it close and appreciate it, for it's a rare thing indeed. For those of you, like myself, who are still looking, good luck to you. We're all in this together.
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