So did go all that is good and pure in the world.

My heart is broken.

I caught wind through fellow blogger, Lance, that during last night's taping of The Daily Show, long-time host Jon Stewart let slip that he would be stepping down from his hosting duties.

I may have cried a little.  I am not ashamed.

When I saw the posted headline, I silently begged "Please be the Onion.  Please be the Onion," but the AV Club's post had already been edited to include an official announcement from Comedy Central.

SOURCE

This is disheartening news.  It may sound weird, since it's not entirely kid-friendly fare, but watching the Daily Show has become family time around here.

Yes, my kids rock current events at school.

And even though Jon Stewart may have outed the Easter Bunny, he's also opened up dialogues with my kids about war, prejudice, injustice, politics, racism, sexism (but surprisingly, not make-believe holiday creatures).  I recall Reagan laughing at a joke Stewart made a few months back that pointed out the irony in gun-rights advocates invoking Martin Luther King Jr. as an ally.

Granted, she may have just been laughing at the faces he was making, but a little part of me thought she may have gotten the joke. The kid is pretty smart.

Humour makes ideas and current events accessible.  And I think that has been part of the appeal of the Daily Show.

I have a few hopes here.  My first hope involves a long-time desire to see Jon Stewart enter politics, as I am sure many others have also hoped.  Then if he ran for president, Rick Mercer could come out and renounce that time he shilled for the government with those "One-Ton Challenge" commercials and returning to biting political commentary with a northern touch, and make a run for PM and in the end we'd have an entertaining-as-hell Canada-US alliance.

That's just an idea I've been throwing around since pretty much forever.

Second, since Comedy Central's official statement seemed to imply that Stewart's departure would not spell the end of the Daily Show, I really, sincerely hope that they make Jessica Williams the new host.  Not only is she my favourite correspondent out of the current cast, she's pretty badass, but as a WOC she'd be a refreshing change of pace from the current white-dude tsunami that is the late night talk-show circuit (Although I haven't forgotten you, Larry).

SOURCE

I guess we have a few more months to find out what's in store.

This was my weekend.. how was yours?

Things seem to finally be settling down around here, after Christmas, New Year's and the flu that worked its way around the household and made the holidays less than spectacular.

This weekend was a quiet one, mostly due to the weather and the kids being at their dads.  After a somewhat frustrating day at work, I got home with the intention of doing sweet eff-all for the evening, which I did, with GUSTO.

The Well-Travelled One whipped up a quick dinner for us, and I played a few rounds of Hatris (like Tetris, but with hats!) and marathoned several episodes of Friends.  I've been rewatching the series since I got sick around the middle of December and am up to season five now.  It's kind of laughable how dated some episodes seem now, especially the giant cordless phones of the early 90s.

I haven't really seen many really good non-workplace and non-family half hour sitcoms since then.  The most recent ensemble cast I can say I've thoroughly enjoyed is probably New Girl, but sometimes the overlapping dialogue gets grating.

Saturday we were going to go to Barrie but I was thwarted by both a late start and intermittent white-outs, so we opted instead for going for coffee, after which I went to my counselling appointment.  The woman I see is probably in her late 80s and is just absolutely fantastic. However, she works out of her home, which is way out in the sticks, down a very windy road that swings around the lake.  The road gets quite treacherous in the winter. 

After an extended session, I came home, had dinner and finished a reworking of a portrait that I have been working on.  I'm pretty damn excited about how it turned out, and will be posting about it on the art blog this week.

Today, we had an earlier start and made it down to Barrie so I could look for some framing options, as I am planning to enter a piece of mine into a local art show.  They are kind of picky about display options, and any canvas art less than 1.5 inches wide is required to be framed.

Earlier in the week I looked into custom framing at a local place, but being one of the only places in town, they were wildly over-booked, so I figured I'd try Michaels.  It's funny.. local places suffer from competition from chain stores and end up carrying less stock, and in turn, because they carry less stock, people end up looking to big chain stores.

At any rate, Michaels' was not much help, as there was a two-week turnaround for custom work, and I have until.. well.. tomorrow, as that is the submission date.  I had pretty much decided not to bother since I wouldn't have time. 

We stopped at a computer store so he could pick some stuff up, and I decided to check out Curry's, which is just a few doors down.

I'm pretty sure I've found my happy place.  Either that, or I've found my "Holy Crap Get Me Out Of Here Before I Spend Next Month's Rent Place."  Anyway, to my surprise, I found a collection of reasonably-prices floating frames, along with the hardware.  Huzzah! I may have a chance to enter after all.

I picked out a nice, unfinished frame and some hardware, along with a few brushes and a couple more tubes of paint, excited to come home and try my and at framing this piece for the show.  I just hope that I get in.

My final product.

Conversations with my kid: Know Your Fandom

A few years ago I took the girls to the Toronto FanExpo.  T spots a guy dressed as David Tennant.

T: Mommy, look! It's Mr. Bean!

Me: No, honey. That's Dr. Who.

In Praise of Cowardly Fat Dudes.

There's a certain character archetype, both in television and film, that when invoked I cannot help but automatically root for them.

They are the Cowardly Fat Dudes*.  

I say dudes, because frankly, there's not a lot of representation for fat women on TV and film, cowardly or otherwise.  Off hand, I can think of four fat lady recurring characters over the last twenty years and half of them were played by Melissa McCarthy.**

However, I digress.  This post is, after all, titled "In Praise of Cowardly Fat Dudes," not "Let Us Bitch About The Lack of Representation for Fat Women."  Believe you me, that is a post for another day.

I love a good underdog, and the Cowardly Fat Dude archetype fits the underdog description well.  Cowardly Fat Dude is portrayed as unsure of himself, often slow, and well, cowardly.  However, they are also often written as generally kind and concerned for others and can often represent a voice of reason when every thing around has gone bat-shit insane.

Some classic Cowardly Fat Dudes include Chunk from The Goonies, Dave from The Full Monty, and Piggy from Lord of the Flies (although anyone who has taken high school English knows things didn't turn out so well for Piggy.)

My current favourite Cowardly Fat Dudes are Aaron Pittman on Revolution (played by Zak Orth) and Samwell Tarly on Game of Thrones (played by John Bradley).  Aaron, a former stupidly-rich MIT grad and Google exec, loses his money, power, confidence and his wife after the blackout that is the catalyst for the events in Revolution.  He spends a lot of the first season mourning his pre-blackout life and generally pointing out the bat-shit craziness of the events that unfold around him.  However, as much as he protests and balks, when his friends are in trouble, he's usually right in there, even if he looks ready to crap his pants at any moment.  Late is season one, he pulls one particularly ballsy, kick-ass move that had me literally in tears.

Aaron's expressions usually alternate between this and "Are you kidding me?" disgust.  Source

Samwell is introduced as a self-described coward, who seems to have internalized a lot of nasty stuff told to him by his father, who considers him more than useless.  He joins the Knight's Watch (Night's watch?) after his father threatens to have a "hunting accident" if Sam doesn't get the eff out.  I haven't seen much of his character arc so far, as I am still trying like hell to catch up on this series, but I can't help but like the guy and hope to see him kick some ass.

There's some rage in there.  This kid is going to do some awesome shit, I know it.  No spoilers, please.  I'm only on season three.  Source

The reason I like the cowardly fat dude is that they seem to rise above their fear when it comes down to the line.  Every other character underestimates their abilities, as do they themselves, so I always find myself rooting for CFDs to come out on top, especially in situations where they are able to put their own particular talents to work in ways that other characters with more brawn and bravado would not be able, through the use of wit or intellect rather than brute force.  

I love the Cowardly Fat Dude character because it's one thing to lack a sense of danger, but it's an entirely different thing to look danger in the eye, feel debilitating fear, and go forth anyway.

*I'm fat-friendly.  I use 'fat' solely as a value-neutral physical description, and not a perjorative in any way.

**In case you're interested, the ones I came up with were Rae from My Mad Fat Diary, Molly from Mike and Molly, Lorelai's friend on Gilmore Girls and the inimitable Roseanne Conner.

I think we've been scapegoating the wrong animal.

I don't want to jinx it, but I honestly and truly think spring might actually be here.  I also thing we may owe The Groundhog, (or groundhogs, as it were) for I'm starting to think there is another fuzzy woodland creature to blame for this never ending winter.

Easter is awfully late this year, isn't it? Late Easter, late spring.  It's the damn Easter Bunny's fault! He's been using the Groundhog as a convenient scapegoat.  Bastard.

Ah, well. Such is life. I'm starting to feel the spring time in my bones, in between listening for the almost constant running of the sump pump.  There's so much snow to melt!  My driveway and yard is a maze of channels and slopes created by my lovely Well-Travelled One in a never ending attempt to divert water away from the house's foundation.

This is probably the closest I will ever get to owning an island property.  Let's hear it for low-lying areas.

I'm slowly but surely working on some spring cleaning.  I'm thankful to have been able to be productive at all, however.  Friday morning, as I was preparing for work, I was struck with a case of dizziness, or vertigo or whathaveyou that confined me to the couch for the majority of the day.  I called into work, since I was not in any shape to sit up, let alone attempt to operate a motor vehicle.  The feeling staying with me into the early evening, so I spent the day sleeping and watching Game of Thrones.  I've Harry Pottered this particular series, which basically means I ignored it for a while, wondered what all the hype was about before finally getting curious enough to check it out and now I'm marathoning the hell out of the first three seasons, in an attempt to catch up.

When I woke up Saturday, I felt fine, if leery of the vertigo suddenly deciding to come back.  I took the girls to Open Mic at the cultural centre, and today I swapped out the old and broken handles on my dresser for some new ones.  I was left with just enough of the old ones to replace the broken handles on T's dresser, which came from the same bedroom set as my dresser and bed.  I also managed to clear out a wooden wardrobe that was being used for general storage, but will be moved into T's room , as the kid has entirely too many clothes.

So far the dizziness has not returned.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it won't. 

Come to think of it, I'd probably forgo shaving, too. #Revolution

Since its inception, The Well-Travelled One and I have been pretty regular viewers of Revolution, the dystopian-future drama set 15 years after a human-made disaster wipes out almost all electricity (and for some reason, combustion engines, because why not?) and the world, especially North America, goes to shit.

Like, I said, Dystopian.

Without giving away too many spoilers, last night after many many episodes worth of almost non-stop gratuituous violence, we FINALLY got to see a little sex.  Not a lot, because I'm pretty sure this is a network show and not HBO.  I make this assumption due to the fact that for a future where people are getting slaughtered left, right and center, there's surprisingly little cussing.  Graphic violence in multitudes is cool, but please, no cussing or hint of side-boob, right NBC?

So a couple of characters who will remain unnamed ended the episode by engaging in some implied naked fun time.

This morning I got to thinking.. if I were living in a dystopian future would there be any purpose to wearing a bra?  I'm thinking no.  At least not for me.  I know there are women who HAVE to wear bras, otherwise face massive discomfort, so I'm not about to begrudge more endowed ladies their undergarments, even when the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

As my friend Nic pointed out, all that running from zombies, robots, authorities etc. could very well make some kind of support a necessity, in which case I'd probably settle for binding myself instead of oh.. I don't know.. MATCHING BRA AND PANTY SETS?  Somehow I think if my life was constantly under threat, I'd not care much what my underpants looked like, and would be more worried about not constantly shitting them every time someone was trying to kill me.

Like how Aaron looks 90% of the time he's on screen.

Where in a dystopian future with no electricity where our heroes are consistently on the run from forces that would see them dead, does {redacted for spoilers} get a fucking matching Victoria Secret bra and panty set?

Did she sew them herself?

In the immortal words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that."

Are they shipped by steamships from sweatshops that have gotten even sweatier since the lights (and thus the air conditioning.. because sweatshops totally have THAT) went off?  How the hell would they get to her?  The main protagonists are ALWAYS ON THE MOVE.  CONSTANTLY.

And NOBODY is going to convince me that these are they same underoos she's had for the last fifteen years.  The show is set in 2027, so she'd have to have bought them last year, in 2012 at the latest.  I'm a buyer of underpants and a purchaser of brassieres, and the shit that gets manufactured and sold in stores in present-day North America is NOT made to withstand 15 years of fighting, killing, running, plotting and the occasionally beating against a rock to launder them.  She would have stabbed herself with the underwire a thousand times over by now.

I guess in an electricity-void, dystopian future where hair always looks conditioned, EXIT signs in building still glow red and people inexplicably drink whiskey from late 19th-century antique glass bottles in spite of the fact that their 15-year-old empty Canadian Club 26ers would probably work just as well, a little bit of realism when it comes to the characters gotchies is probably too much to ask.

And in one fateful monologue, Jon Stewart kills childhood.

My kids are pretty cool in that they have a fairly sophisticated sense of humour for their respective ages.  Yes, some *may* call me a bad mother for allowing their preschool viewing habits be interspersed with episodes of Kids in the Hall and Arrested Development and I can and will accept some responsibility when and if it turns out that I have warped their fragile little minds with bawdy humour.  I've definitely had moments of shock and self-doubt when I find them guffawing at jokes that I thought would fly right over their heads.  But the love of comedy is one of the things that I enjoy sharing with them and they always surprise me in the most delightful way with their ability to appreciate different stylings.

One incident stands out, wherein they had been grounded from TV for some minor infraction.  This is a hard one for me to stick to since there are certain household chores that are so mind-numbingly tedious that I require something to occupy my mind.  Oh, hai, laundry-folding.  So my cunning plan was to put on something that would be so obviously over their head that it would bore them to tears while still keeping me amused.  Recalling how it had been an acquired taste for me, I put on "And Now For Something Completely Different" and hoped that the sort of drab 70's BBC quality image and obscure absurdist humour would cause them to roll their eyes and retreat to their room.

No such luck.  They were riveted.  Total backfire.

The last week or so, my nine-year-old has taken to cuddling up with The Well Travelled One and I to watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and surprisingly has really taken to it.  She's a smart cookie, that one, but the humour on the Daily Show tends to be very adult.. not raunchy or risque, but very current events based political humour.  Boring, grown-up stuff.  But she laughs right along, as I eye her wondering if she actually gets the jokes or just likes Stewart's funny faces.   Either way, I get to sit there and think "Man, my kid is just the friggin' coolest."

And then Jon Stewart outs the Tooth Fairy. 

Outta freakin' nowhere.   One minute he's talking about Lance Armstrong and the next he's undoing all my hard work and telling my nine-year-old there is no tooth fairy.

BOOM.  Just like that.  (That's a link to the clip.  It's right at the 4:05 mark.  Keep your kids out of the room.)

I froze and tried to gauge her reaction.  Kid DID NOT EVEN FLINCH.  It's possible she may not have noticed but my money is on the more likely scenario that she TOTALLY caught it and has since been calculating how to use this information to her benefit.

"Don't react. Just Don't. React.  Don't blow this, kid.  Free money for dead teeth.  We need to ride this as long as possible.  At least until those 12 year molars come in."

You know Canada Has No Interest in its Celebrity Culture when...

.. one of our cultural icons DIES and it takes five freakin' years for anyone to even notice.

Or, more accurately, we're too interested in U.S. celebrity culture to notice when one of our own dies.

In the past I have expressed my annoyance with the disproportionate amount of grief that people express in the wake of celebrity deaths, as once again was demonstrated over the last week after news of Whitney Houston's death broke.  So in light of that, I feel more than a little hypocritical to say that I felt PROFOUNDLY FUCKING SAD when I found out that Neil Hope, who had played Derek "Wheels" Wheeler on Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High had not only died, but died FIVE YEARS AGO without anyone really noticing or giving a shit.

You said it, Ed the Sock.

I do have to add that I find it funny that I found all this out from a sentient, chain-smoking sock.  So that says something... about.. something.  I guess.  Score one for patent absurdity.

Anyway, maybe it's the affinity I have for those original Degrassi series' after they got me through weeks of being hospitalized in my late teens (along with Guiding Light, as well as reruns of Law and Order and Northern Exposure) or perhaps it's that it sounds like Hope in spite of his name had a pretty shitty upbringing not unlike his on screen counterpart but this made me sad in a way that usually doesn't happen with me.

Source

Maybe it's because after Degrassi ended, Neil Hope seemed to kind of fade into obscurity, popping up once for a brief cameo on the pilot for Degrassi: The Next Generation.  It's entirely possible  that the family purposely hid his death from the media, and if that is the case more power to them.  That would at least be a less wholly depressing thought than the idea that this guy died in a fire and it took five years for anyone to really notice or give a shit.

According to the story in the Globe and Mail, creator Linda Schuyler and executive producer Stephen Stohn had kept quiet out of respect to Hope's family.  Odd that the Globe cites natural causes, whereas the National Post says he died in a fire.

Apparently, the news was finally made public due to a Facebook group dedicated to bring 'the real' Neil Hope to Facebook.  I guess the family confirmed so as to not waste everyone's time.

In the spirit of blaming all that is wrong with the world on Mark Zuckerberg I say "Good job, Zuck.  Way to make things AWKWARD."

Here's a clip from the movie/series finale School's Out, where Wheels gets drunk and kills a kid and maims Lucy in a car wreck.  Trigger warning.



UPDATE: So most of the other news outlets are reporting that Hope died of natural causes (Wow.. out of context, that phrase is like.. really depressing). Our lesson here is that the National Post kind of sucks.

Christopher Titus, I am disappoint.

Some of you may remember a short-lived but hilarious (if you share my own sick sense of humour) sit-com a few years back by the name of Titus, based on the real life upbringing of comedian Christopher Titus.

So I'm a fan of his page on Facebook and I came across this post.  When I first read it, I honestly thought it was satire but as I read on I realized that it was written in seriousness.  I think.  I'm not sure, actually, the whole thing is kind of muddled and incoherent.  I don't even know where to start with the whole 'Negro Greetings' thing... I'm pretty sure I'd find it offensive if I could figure out what the fuck his point is on that one.

Anyway, I'll let you read the post for yourself.

Transcription:

This is a repost.
I'm getting tired of atheists bitching about Christmas, first of all you're an atheist, why do you care who believes what? How can someone who believes nothing believe in nothing so much that you want everyone else to believe in nothing or make fun of the non non-believers. Sounds like a cult. I believe that Jesus Christ walked the earth and he was a good man, like I believe that Ghandi walked the earth and Martin Luther King also. That's why it's called Martin Luther king day not "Negro greetings". Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ which is why it's called Christmas and a manger scene has people dressed in robes of the time and lambs and whatever.Theres no aliens. (I'm looking at you Scientology.) Guess what there is a ton of mythology about Ghandi and MLK too so step the hell off atheists and keep your believing in nothing to yourselves. I'm tired of you forcing your non beliefs on me. I love how people bitch about their civil rights until they start infringing on others. You think I'm pissed? Listen to blah blah blah shameless self-promotions etc etc etc...

Really what?

I read some of the comments but then stopped after I found that the stupid was beginning to burn, so I went on to post this response:

I've never heard an atheist bitch about Christmas. I've never heard a Muslim bitch about Christmas. I've never heard a jew bitch about Christmas. I've never heard a Hindu bitch about Christmas. I've never heard a Pagan bitch about Christmas. I've heard a lot of Christians bitch about a war on Christmas, which could be true if you consider war to mean 'the suggestion that one might acknowledge that there are other holidays in the month of December.' But myself, I've always thought 'war' involved a lot of guns and death and stuff. That I've yet to see, outside of Weird Al Yankovic's "The Night Santa Went Crazy."

Those who have been reading this blog for a while know that I have very little patience for the "War on Christmas" crowd and that personally I find the idea that by simply acknowledging the varying beliefs of people living in North America we're contributing to the downfall of Western Civilization to be at worst, a xenophobic and dangerously bigoted idea and at best, just fucking ridiculous.  Saying Happy Holidays to someone instead of Merry Christmas isn't a big slap in the face to Jesus Christ.. in fact, from what I know of him, he would have encouraged it.  It's my understanding that J.C. was very into all that "Goodwill toward man" and "Loving thy Neighbour" stuff.

Take a look around you... the only people waging a war on Christmas and it's true meaning are the advertisers, the corporations and the grinding gears in the machine of greed.  If anyone forgets the 'true' meaning of Christmas, it won't be because a few people say Happy Holidays.

As for the original rant, I think Titus needs to do some research on Atheism and what it entails.  It's not a belief in nothing.  It's a movement toward rational thought and critical thinking instead of blind faith.  A lot of Atheists still celebrate Christmas, but may center it around celebrating family.  Hell, I consider myself an Atheist but I still think that it's possible that Jesus Christ existed, and I celebrate Christmas because I have respect for the ideas that Jesus espoused (that stuff that I mentioned above.  Love, and such).  No, I don't believe in the Resurrection.  I don't believe he was the Son of God.  But I respect his ideas.

I wish more people would.

Canada has fake bands too, you know.

I'm kind of getting a kick out of HelloGiggles.com as a fun site for randomness and pop culture. (my massive girly-crush on Zooey Deschanel notwithstanding) However, I'm finding it unforgiveable that twice now they have posted articles on the best fake bands from movies and made glaring omissions.  Maybe it's a deep-seated prejudice against Canadian Content, or maybe they are just sadly ignorant of our offerings north of the border (god knows...  Canadians hardly recognize that we have a film AND a television industry, so I can't be too hard on the Americans).

The other possibility is that with the exception of my last choice, the bands I mention can only be considered 'good' if 'good' to you doesn't necessarily mean 'talented, with catchy tunes' but rather 'kind of goofy but nonetheless amusing as fuck.'

Here are some examples that have twice now been left off the list, and have thus prevented me from giving HelloGiggles full recognition as a credible pop culture website.

- OR -

Sometimes I just like to piggyback on other people's ideas.

Thunderface - Corner Gas

Source

Consisting of Hank on Vocals, Brent on guitar, Wanda on bass and Karen on drums, Thunderface decided to reunite for a show at the hotel after a 15 year hiatus, much to Paul's delight.  After kicking the Tragically Hip out of Brent's garage to practice, their one show is cut short by the fuzz, otherwise known as Davis (who is jealous that Karen got picked as drummer over him).




Rod Torfulson's Armada Featuring Herman Menderchuck - Kids in the Hall

Originally known as simply Armada, they're goal was to practice, always showing up on time and arrive having eaten.  The nameless singer played by Kevin McDonald basically did all the work, but was consistently over-ridden by bandmates Rod and Herman, whether it be to add backup singers, or even keep Kevin in the band (while keeping his songs).




The Zit Remedy/The Zits - Degrassi Junior High

Source

Joey Jeremiah, Derek "Wheels" Wheeler and Archie "Snake" Simpson only ever managed to write one song over their 3-4 year career and man, was it terrible but catchy in a way that after 12 hours of having it stuck in your head, you would begin to believe that the 'Something' that 'everybody wants' was probably something sharp to jab in your eardrum to distract you from this godawful song.  Still, you had to admire their persistence.  Maybe, I don't know.

(the only reason I can sit through this video is for the occasional glance at Clutch's ass)

You've been warned, though.

Hard Core Logo - Hard Core Logo

Source

All joking aside, this is really where I think the HelloGiggles article dropped the ball.  Hell, Barbie and the Rockers made it onto their list, but they somehow managed to miss possible the most bad-assed of fake bands.  I'm not saying this just because of my deep-seated desire to be the meat in a Hugh-Dillon-Callum-Keith-Rennie-Circa-1996 Sammich.

I can watch this movie over and over.  I will admit, I have judged people on their enjoyment of Hard Core Logo.  Who could watch the dysfunctional vaguely homoerotic relationship between Joe Dick and Billy Talent, the good-natured antics of Pipe Fitter and John Oxenbergers decent into madness and NOT want to join a punk band?

Well, I would.

Don't take this the wrong way, but to quote Mr. Joe Dick himself "You don't know shit from good chocolate, baby."



(I'm kidding, actually.  I just really wanted to used that line.  No hard feelings, k?)

The Good, The Bad and the Delightfully Cheesy.

Been a little quiet the past few days, I know.  Going through some stuff.  Had to cut off contact with someone who was very important to me in order to save myself a whole lotta time going through the emotional wringer and would you know it pretty much blows?  Big time.  Running the gamut of emotion, angry, sad, self-righteous and well.. you know how it is.  Boys n' such.  So I've been disgustingly emo over the last 24 hours.  I've had a few of my closest girlfriends be super supportive as I got all weepy and snotty and introspective about it, even though over the last 12 months or so the "I swear this time it's really DONE" has been nothing new to any of them.

But I swear, this time, it's really done.

Hit the local Party On The Dock this past weekend, which proved to be quite the raucous affair.  There was much beer, much dancing to all-ages friendly (as in 9 to 99) cover bands.  Okay, this is something that gets me every year.  The headliners are a group called Northern Harbour, who bill themselves as

The Ultimate Jimmy Buffet Tribute Band!

But.. if it's true as some say that Jimmy Buffett is essentially a cover artist himself, then wouldn't a Jimmy Buffett cover band really just be a generic cover band that happens to play Margaritaville and Let's Get Drunk and Screw? (which, incidentally, Northern Harbour DID play much to my amusement).

Anyway, was a fun-filled evening.  We closed the party, headed to the local bar, closed the bar, got food, ended up at the park and next thing you know it was all "Oh hey.  Hello, 5 am! Fancy meeting you here!"

A word of advice: Sitting down by the water in the wee hours of the morning may sound like an awesome serene idea, but you change your mind quickly when you wake up in the morning with goose shit on your pants.  Had awesome Karen-Walkeresque moment the next day as my bestest and I sat in her backyard feeling rather rough and a small child was driving around in one of those Power Wheels dealies.  Shielding my eyes from the sun I asked "Is it really necessary for that kid to be driving that thing this early in the afternoon?"

I'm fucking witty when hungover, I tell you.

My shitty mood after last night's drama nearly resulting in an ass-kicking today as I got a wee bit snarky with some folks who insisted on ignoring the giant No Loitering sign on the front door of our building and wound up with a rather frightening woman up in my face because apparently I'm doing a huge disservice to their hanging-around-in-front-of-Tim-Hortonsing by not-so-subtly suggesting her friends try standing 2-3 feet to the left or right AND NOT IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING DOOR.

How silly of me.

And then some guy got his ass handed to him in the parking lot about an hour later.  Cops and everything.  I have a great view from my desk.  And YES, I DID call 911, as buddy was taking quite the beating but I guess someone beat me to it because all I had to say was the address and "Fight" and they said "Yeah, we're already on our way." at which point the cops pulled up.

I swell with absolute pride at my town, which is NOT AT ALL white-trashy in ANY WAY.

Today my geek worlds collided.  For about 6-8 years I was a soap fan.  To be clear I was regular follower of the Guiding Light.  It started when I was hospitalized at 18, after which I drove my ex-husband nuts with it for years, and when the Sister and I lived together we watched religiously.

I stopped watching after I moved out on my own in 2005, as I wasn't home when it was on and I didn't have a VCR.  The show was cancelled in 2009 and a little part of me was heartbroken that I never saw the last episode.  I found out today that in 2006 Marvel Comics did a Guiding Light crossover based on a halloween storyline where Harley (one of my favorite characters) gets super powers and becomes a heroine by the name of 'The Guiding Light'

Har Har.

So this evening I wasted a whole lot of time looking up clips from this story arc on YouTube, and trying to find out where I can get my hands on the comic portion of the storyline, which apparently included Spiderman and the Avengers, as well as GL characters such as Buzz Cooper and Gus Aitoro (*drool*)

Beth Ehlers and Ricky Paull Goldin

Harley all Comic-fied - Source

 The link to the Comics Alliance page has a preview where you can see some of the other drawings.  I enjoy seeing the characters rendered in comic style.

The story arc on the tv side is atrocious, but what do you expect? Part of the fun of soaps is the groaningly bad melodrama and improbable story lines.  Hell, that's part of the fun of comics too.

They have so much in common.

Watch, and giggle.

My inner elitist is laughing and pointing..

I am very defensive when it comes to the reputation of the Canadian music industry.  I admit it.  In my online journey's I have encountered numerous (mostly American) folks who seem to regard Canadian music as all Anne Murray, Celine Dion and Nickelback, and allow the success of these particular 'artists' to paint a pretty grim picture of our industry.

I've always maintained that their success is more a reflection of the listening tastes of the U.S. listeners, because time and time again some of our most talented musicians are consistently overlooked.

So I'm indulging in a good giggle from the uproar over the Grammy upset last night with the Arcade Fire and their win for Album of the Year.  In my opinion, they are an innovative, talented group of musicians and a pretty well-kept-secret.  When you put them up next to their co-nominees, well, let's just say Lady Antebellum is destined for the One-Hit-Wonder bin, Eminem is played out, the Gag is overhyped (although admittedly talented, I'm sick of hearing about her.. an EGG?  seriously?) and Katy Perry.. yeesh.  So it warms me in the cockles of my heart to see an album win on merit rather than hype, for a change.  Way to go, Grammys.

Who are these guys?

On their Twitter feed, CBCRadio2 linked to a site dedicated to this upset called Who Is the Arcade Fire and it's chalk-full of the confused reactions of the Grammy-watching public.  The confusion is delicious and seems to prove my point that a whole lot of good music is being overlooked in a country that somehow made Justin Beiber famous.  We just birthed him, we didn't give him a recording contract (okay, we probably did, but Beiber-fever isn't isolated to Canada).

Congratulations on your win, Arcade Fire.

Do two half-assed posts equal a whole ass?

Short one tonight.  Woke up this morning feeling rather ill.  Sore throat, headache, general malaise.  The girls had stayed the night at their grandmother's so I got up, begrudgingly put the living room back together after yesterday's elephant stampede, while whimpering every time I unconsciously swallowed, which when I have a sore throat, I tend to to every 30 seconds or so.  Upon hearing of my illness, Mom said the girls were no trouble and that they could stay at her place as long as I needed so I can rest.  So after getting the living room back together, taking a few glances at the girls' pristine bedroom to remind myself why it was all worth it, filling the sink with dishes that wouldn't get washed until a good couple hours later and listed two new items on my Etsy Store, I curled up on the couch and pretty much killed the rest of the day watching TV until Dad brought the girls home.

I think my Playstation 2 is on its way out.  I stopped buying actual DVD players some time ago, as the girls are pretty rough with them.  Being a gaming system generally designed for kids and teenagers, the PS2's a lot more durable than your average DVD player, so when my last DVD player hit the skids, I just used the PS2, but now I'm finding that it's having a hard time reading a lot of discs.  It's lasted me about three years though, which is pretty good for a second hand system, I think.

So that being said, I got through most of Season two of The New Adventures of Old Christine (PS2 couldn't read disc one after two episodes) and as a result have developed a dirty crush awkwardguy crush on Hamish Linklater who plays Christine's brother Matthew. 

Yes, I haven't done one in a while, so here's another Reverse Objectification post.  I know it's not thursday but I think these are just gonna be kind of random.. or loosely based on my ovulation cycle. 

Bed now.  Work tomorrow, possibly, unless things take a turn for the worse.

The post-modern Everyman

After a conversation with a co-worker, I've reached the conclusion that the greatest example of the modern-day Everyman is this:

Arthur.  The Tick's timid yet level headed sidekick. He lives a rather mundane existence.  Some unknown part of him longs to break out,  for excitement, for intrigue.

He wants to be a hero.

Arthur.  A shining example of the post-modern everyman.

He is the voice of reason.  The Ego to the Tick's Mighty Blue Id (the pleasure principle being the joy The Tick derives from the unending fight for Good - Honk if you love Justice!)

Having set his goal and made his decisions, he faces battle, albeit reluctantly, screaming "Not in the face! Not in the face!"  He is torn between his safe, non-descript existence and his yearning for adventure.  Although he may appear a coward, Arthur is a realist.  He looks fear in the face and although he may cower, he still flies forth.

He embodies the crisis of masculinity.  He's brains over brawn.  In the Tick Vs. Arthur, he has difficulty negotiating his masculinity when it is given a new dimension.  He feels powerless, but his empathy with the little guy keeps him from embracing his darker tendencies.

I don't know where I was going with this, honestly. 

Happy International Blasphemy Day!

For those who are unaware today is International Blasphemy Day.  The origins go back to September 2005 when a number of cartoons were printed that depicted the prophet Mohammed, which inflamed a good chunk of the Muslim population.

Wikipedia - Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons controversy

I just want to say that for me, this is not about making fun of people who hold certain religious beliefs. I know that some people take their beliefs very seriously, but that does not mean they should never be questioned, especially when those beliefs hurt others (such as this asshat here - Severe Trigger Warning. more on him later) It is about bringing awareness to the idea that no religion should be allowed to punish people (even those who are not of said faith) from questioning, critiquing and yes even mocking said teachings.  Arguments can be strengthened by being challenged - any argument than can be torn down through subjection to critical thought, probably deserves to be torn down.

In the name of blasphemy, here's a few clips I posted to my Facebook, ranging from amusing to thought provoking, and all involving some of my favorite movies, actors and writers.


Kids in the Hall - God is Dead


Dogma - Bartleby and Loki at the Airport


'Almost the Truth' about Monty Python's Life of Brian

My favorite part of this clip is John's anectdote during the Tim Rice interview:


"I remember a gentlemen coming and telling us about how very difficult it had proved to get the Bible into Tibet.  You know?  They'd had seven occasions: the first time there'd been landslides; the second time there was rain, the pages got stuck together; the third time... the third time the mules had fallen off the mountain; the fourth time there were thunderbolts.   'The seventh time,' he said 'God helped us, and we got the Bibles into Tibet.'  The obvious conclusion is that he was trying like Hell to stop the Bibles getting into Tibet."



I'll end this off with an awesome quote I heard the other day:

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told.  Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right. - Unknown

Dreams in between the rare bout of insomnia

Usually I never have trouble sleeping.

"That's where I'm a Viking!" - Ralph Wiggum.

As mentioned, it been a rough week and stress brings odd and vivid dreams.  Oh, and I cut off all my hair yesterday, so that plays into this as well.

In the first part, a friend of mine decides to get a neck tattoo, which starts out as a subtle vine of flowers just above the collar bone.  I'm in the Legion, and she rushes in with her daughter, and I can tell something is very wrong because she's holding her head down as far as humanly possible.  I ask what is wrong and she tells me she went back for more inking.  Looking up, the tattoo now extends up to her chin, where it goes from being a jungle of vines and flowers to something that looks like a cross between Optimus Prime and the Thundercats logo, right under her nose and around her mouth.  She's obviously very upset.  I laugh, but in that horribly guilty "Oh my god, I'm so sorry I'm laughing" way.  We try to come up with a solution for the new face-tattoo, but come up with nothing.

Then I'm in a bathroom that looks alot like the upstairs at my friends place.  About five of my co-workers are jammed into the bathtub together.  I'm using (clean, unused) tampons as curlers, trying to curl my newly shorn hair into something respectable, and trying really hard to ignore the fact that five of my co-workers are crammed into the bathtub behind me.
In an attempt to break the tension, I say "Please don't mind my tampon curlers.  I don't have any real ones."  One co-worker hems and haws and tries to think of other household products that could be used in their place.

Alarm.

A woman like that'd make you forget about Hiroshima

.. that's a line from a Kids in the Hall sketch I've had rolling around in my head since watching the Pilot episode on DVD the other night.  It's from the 'Guys on Break' sketch, which is basically about three guys who ogle women walking by and talk about all the things they'd like to do to them, only it's stuff like how they'd like to take them out to dinner or help them work out their issues with their ex in a bistro ("He was a bastard to ya! More Coffee More Coffee More Coffee!").  It's a work of comedic genius, really.



Anyway, that line has been stuck in my head for about a week now.  I think I'd like it if someone were to describe me as such.  I'm not particularly sure what it means, but it sounds cool.  Like someone who makes an impact.  A huge one.

*sigh*

This week has been a hard one.  I've been on the outs with one of my oldest dearest friends, and more and more it's looking like we're not going to be able to talk for a while.  I'm sad about this, and at the same time I'm indignant.  It's all different perspectives, but for me, what it comes down to is my feeling that my decisions are my own, and that while I don't require my friends to like what I do, they should respect them.  There is a short list of people I feel accountable to.. it mainly consists of my children, the law (within reason) and my own conscience.  My conscience is clean, I try to live my life as best as I can without hurting people around me. Those who have not walked a mile in my shoes need not pass down judgement.

That's all I'll say on the subject because despite the fact that this blog is my forum to vent, I still try to respect the privacy of others.


and now for something completely different...

I got the coolest captcha when commenting on a post at The Sassy Curmudgeon.


I think I want to try and work this into my vocabulary, because it sounds badass.. Rextro.  What do you think it means?  Something old, kitchy,. and badass.

Yeah.  And somewhat related, I watched Airheads this weekend, and I continue to have a dirty crush on Steve Buscemi's character, who happens to be named Rex, and happens to be pretty badass.

Katy Perry's Boobs will be the downfall of humanity...

First off, let me say that as a child, I loved Sesame Street. As an adult, I still love Sesame Street. That is to say, i still love the Sesame Street I watched as a child. I pretty much lost all respect for the later years once the brought in the brain-melting 15-minute Elmos's world at the end of every episode.

Seriously, go back and watch vintage Sesame Street and you can see how dumbed down it gradually became over the years. It's sad, because the early years of Sesame Street really did seem to give children and their intellect level some credit.

I will also mention that I have a love/hate thing for Katy Perry.. sometimes I think she's just the cutest thing short of Zooey Deschanel, and other times I just want to punch her in the friggin' face. I think it's just because she's EVERYWHERE and that's a sure way to annoy me.

That being said, today Tom Megginson at Work That Matters, posted about the Katy Perry clip that was deemed too hot for Sesame Street. You can read the article here.



It seems that after some feedback from parents on the YouTube video regarding Ms. Perry's ... *koff*.. erm.. decolletage, the CTW has decided to pull this skit.

Let me sum up their argument for having it pulled, in simple netspeak:

OH NOEEZZZZZZ!!!1!11!! BEWBERZZZZZZ!!!

Yes. Please. Won't someone think of the children? All those poor defenseless children, who, as Tom pointed out have obviously never been to a beach, or been nursed, or seen a woman in a tank top before... someone please make sure they aren't forever scarred and corrupted by Katy Perry's cleavage.

Really? What preschooler is going to give one iota of thought to Katy's rack when there's that grammatically incorrect, third-person-talking, squeaky-voiced furry red mop with eyes to be entranced by?

Grow-up, overprotective parents and mammophobes everywhere.

Animated like me...

Okay, so first off, when I was looking for images for this blog post, I was surprised and a little irritated to find that it's already been done.

Curses. Foiled again. The kicker is that she's picked at least two of the people I had in mind.

No matter.

In no particular order, here's some cartoon characters that bear at least a passing resemblance to myself, because sometimes, I really wish I was an animated character.

Daria


Meg Griffin


Marcie

This one is kind of funny, because I once told my best friend that she kind of resembled Peppermint Patty.

Yeah, she didn't talk to me for like, a week.

Velma


Gretchen (from Recess)


And please allow me a moment of wishful thinking...


Hey, I'm working on that grey streak.. a few more months without haircolor, and I may be able to pass.

Conversations with my kid: On the subject of race

Watching 'Maude' with the girls

Bea Arthur: "In this house, there is no black, and no white. There is only people-color."

Tierney: "...which is beige."