Isla de Encanta - Day Eight, Apparently. Momma, I'm coming home.

I was not ready to fly home Thursday.  I missed the girls, and I missed my guitar and beyond that.. well, I would have made do.  I would have forged the girls some passports, and had them and the axe shipped to me if it meant I could stay on the beach for just a little while longer.

Nonetheless, I got up early, packed up all my shit and headed down to breakfast.  You know how you can never seem to pack everything up the same way you did when you arrived somewhere?  Yeah, I'm really glad I'm not big on buying souvenirs for people.  I had a drum, a chess set, and a flute and a plinky-plunky weird instrument to bring home.. somehow, someway, I got it all into my suitcase, oddly enough, and ended up with LESS in my carry-on bag even.  The plan was to check out and then take all my stuff to Kaylee and Mindy's room since check out time was 1pm, but my bus for the airport didn't leave until 8pm.  This would save me either paying for late-checkout, or storing or lugging my shit around for the rest of the day.

A few times I was close to tears, I did NOT WANT TO LEAVE.  All I could think of was having to go right back to work on Monday, and snow.  Holy crap, I did NOT want to see snow.  Especially knowing that we were supposedly supposed to get a giant mother of all snow-storms here, and knowing that my car would be sitting at the Park N Fly for a week in all that B.S.

Really, would you want to leave this...

...for this?  Photo Credit

So I spent the morning on the beach, guerilla-tanning because to my naked eye, I still looked Irish as all hell.  Go SPF 30.  I set my phone alarm so I would know when it was time to go check out.  When I went to the check out desk, I ran into Alain the Quebecois taxguy and his friend at the front desk heading out for an excursion.  In the name of keeping what happens in the tropics, in the tropics, I chit chatted, told them I was checking out and wished him a pleasant remainder of his holiday but did not ask for contact info.  He kissed me good bye and wished me well and that was that.

I just shared a rather awkward lunch with an elderly German by the name of Fritz who spoke not a work of English.  After a stilted introduction, we chewed in silence for a good ten minutes.  Upon finishing, I didn't want to just walk away so I said a quick "Guten Tag, Fritz," as it's the only German I know.  "Ah, Danke Shen (sp?)" he replied.
I think I've hit my weirdness threshold for this trip.  - Vacation Journal, 02/04/2011

Yup, the lunch with the elderly German man was an interesting point to the trip.  For the remainder of the day we kind of took it easy, sat on the beach some more, then went back to the plaza for a while as we still had not completed our souvenir shopping.  We spent a good amount of time in one store that was being run by two friendly local girls, one of whom was fascinated with both mine and Kaylee's facial piercings and expressed a wish to get something of her own done.  The music they were playing was killing me, in a good way.. they were playing bossa nova type covers of Guns 'N' Roses songs by an unknown (to me) female singer.  Most other GNR fans might kill me for this, but man, they were AWESOME and I wanted to find out where I could get the CD, because I would have played the hell out of that at home.

I made a mistake in my last post and it was actually the last night while we were waiting for the buffet to open up that we ran into our family from Listowel and had our pictures taken.

About five minutes before the bus for the airport showed up, I realized I didn't have my travel documents in my purse and I pretty much lost my shit.  After rifling through my bags near tears and muttering 'ohshitohshitohshitohshit' I ran like the devil back to the girls' suite and lo and behold there they were, on the kitchen table, so I grabbed them and ran like the devil back to the lobby.

Getting on the bus I struck up conversation with my seatmate, whose name escapes me now, and it struck me how comfortable I got over the week with just talking to strangers.  A week previously I had sat silent and awkward and not talking or making eye contact.  One week later I was telling this guy from Newmarket my life story.

Vacations make you friendly.

I narrowly escaped an awkward three and a half hour plane ride when I misread my boarding pass and sat myself down in row 11, seat H only to discover 10 minutes later that J, one of the young hamilton boys who had been systematically avoiding and/or being vaguely awkward with me since things had gotten a bit hot'n'heavy at the beginning of the trip came and sat down in seat J.  Hoo boy, yes that would only happen to me.  Weird.  However, one of the other guys came up and made the discovery that I was in HIS seat, to which I had to ask "Well, where the hell am I sitting?" to which I replied to myself "Oh, you're sitting another ten rows back, you jackass."

So I suffered 5 or so minutes of awkwardness of looking creepy in exchange for 3 hours of awkwardness sitting one seat away from my holiday booty call.  I'll take looking like an idiot who can't read a boarding pass, thanks.

However, these guys were not to get rid of me so easily, because after the flight, and customs and such I got my stuff and got on the shuttle bus to the Park N Fly, and all bloody twelve of them were on the bus.. and as it turns out, were parked about six spaces away from me.  Oh, and the good news is that my car had maybe 2 cups of snow on it, so there was no digging to be done, which is good because I had a 3 hour drive to Mildmay to embark on so that I could attend the wedding of one of my best friends that day.

That's right, I de-planed, drove out to farm country in the middle of the night and went to a wedding the next day, because I am hard-core like that.  It was a beautiful wedding too, small but very elegant, and pulled together in a very short period of time.  Krys and her new hubby Dean seemed ridiculously happy, and I am happy for them.  Warms this cynical jaded heart of mine.

The restaurant where they had the reception was attached by a small corridor to a sports lounge so after all the family went home, we went to the lounge and in all our wedding finery had some beers and did some karaoke.  I ran into the ex-girlfriend of one of my online friends who lives in the area.  After I introduced myself she rang him up to let him know I was in the area.  Unfortunately our ride ended up leaving before he got there so we were thwarted on meeting in person once again.  Such is life.

Sunday we all went out for breakfast in Walkerton before I headed out to see my Grandma Ruth.  We had a nice visit, then I headed home as I was having dinner at my other friend Tessa's place that night, which was a good time, I met a friend of hers and we've been chatting since.  Tess also packed me leftovers for lunch the next day and it was kick ass.  So all told, I didn't get home until 8:30 sunday night, just in time to have to work Monday.

Okay, phew.  Done.  On to other topics now....

2010, you were not boring, that's for sure.

One of my quirks is the ability to relate pretty much any occasion to some kind song lyric.  Hell, there are periods of my life that I could compile an entire soundtrack for.  I'm kind of at a loss right now though.  Yes, it's New Years Eve and I'm being all retrospective.  I'm not sure how I feel about the past year.

Without going into too much detail, I have mentioned previously my messed up relationship with New Years Eve.  It was a New Years Eve that the ex-hub told me he was unhappy and thinking of leaving.  That night we talked in tears for hours and I literally, on the floor on my hands and knees, begged him not to leave.  I had never ever lowered myself to that point before and later I swore I never would again.  My world crumbled before my eyes.  In spite of agreeing to try and work things out, two weeks later he was gone.  It's so bizarre years later that I had felt so strongly about someone who now, is just an aspect of my life that I deal with.  We share children but at this point in time he's little better than a stranger or an acquaintance to me.  That I had felt so destroyed at that time seems almost laughable now.  So weird how time changes things.

It was also a New Years Eve that I, after an unfortunate combination of vanilla liquer, Sauvignon Blanc and alcoholic Jello that I very tearfully proclaimed less-than-platonic feelings to a friend of many years, but they were not reciprocated.  It was not the classiest of scenes but fortunately there were few witnesses.  Mainly he, I and the two friends tasked with the unfortunate job of trying to haul my blubbering drunk ass to the cab.  Again, time is a funny funny thing, as a mere two years later I can safely say that we've made our way back to some semblance of our pre-breakdown normalcy.  It was rough for a while, for me anyway

There have been some very good years too.  Last year was probably the best one I can remember.  The live show my friend K and I were supposed to go to was cancelled, so we decided to crash the wedding of a couple we knew who were getting married that night.   We showed up after dinner, into the dance portion of the reception, and the bride and groom were very gracious and insisted if we were going to stay, we were to eat lots of food as they weren't taking ANYTHING home.  It ended up being a fantastic night of dancing with some of my oldest and dearest friends.  So they're not ALL bad.

2010.  Oh, what to say about you, 2010.

You've been interesting, that's for sure. 

2010 was the year I found out there is such a thing as love at first sight.  And although things didn't work out, this was the year I discovered that I was able to really open up and be true with my feelings to someone, even if they didn't entirely share those feelings.  And although things are crappy now, there were a lot of good times I will always remember fondly, whether you continue to be part of my life as a friend or not.

2010 was the year I lost my best friend to time, age and changes in personality, values and general outlook.  It was probably the hardest thing I went through this year.  It was like getting divorced all over again.  It's still hard to know that I can't just call her and see how she's doing, it's hard to know that she wants nothing to do with me now for various reasons.  It's hard to not just apologize in hopes that I can have my friend back, but any wrong I committed, I've already apologized for.  I hope one day we can talk again, but at this point, it's no longer my call.  It's not just her, I miss the rest of the family as well, including my (former?  how do these things work?) godchildren.

On the other hand, 2010 I forged new friendships with people who I hope to have in my life for a long time, and revisited some old friendships that I had neglected and enjoyed ongoing friendships.  I was going to mention a few people, but I really don't want to leave anyone out.  When I hit my milestone 30th birthday I was floored by the number of people in my life who came to wish me well.

2010 was the year I reclaimed my name and my status as a totally, officially and legally single woman.

2010 was the year I started doing more music wise, playing at local open mike nights, getting to know the other people who frequented these nights, and even got up the nerve to sign up for the Penetang museum summer concert series.  A whole two hours playing by myself.  Twas pretty awesome.

2010 brought with it some pretty cool shows I got to see, like Big Sugar, Spoon, and the Schomberg Fair

So yeah, there was good and bad I suppose.  There's so much more that happened, but this post is a bit of a novel as it is, and there's no end in sight.  Maybe I'm just apprehensive because I really don't know what what to expect with the coming year.  I'm bummed out because I'm on my own again this year.  I know it's not the be-all end-all, but it sure as shit would be nice to not be by myself when the big ball drops.  Yes, I snickered when I said that.

Now we all know that all things cliched and having to do with the New Year include both a retrospective and a resolution for the year to come.  Here's a few things that are on my resolution list:

Be Bold (thanks to Cayley T for this one)

Learn to love Loneliness


Risk more, apologize less.  In the words of one of my dearest friends - "Laugh till you cry. Dance to your own beat. Eat dessert first. Sing loud.. REALLY loud. And Smile"

Where did my weekend go? - Saturday

Saturday was kind of a bummer, honestly, but an expected one. I walked into it knowing it'd be rough, emotionally. In fact I predicted it earlier this week.

After the late night in the Tdot, I got up at 9am to a message from the most-recent-ex saying that he'd be back in town around 1pm after picking up the moving truck. Being up and about, I decided to take my new bike, purchased the previous day with an expected-but-forgotten work bonus, for a ride over to my parents place for coffee since I had neither milk nor the motivation to go and purchase milk. As well some family friends were up so I wanted to say hello, and to show off my sweet ride. yeaaaaah.

The day was dreary and rainy and upon arriving to the beach I parked and wandered until he got there with the truck. Moving is moving and it generally sucked but I was glad to be able to help and glad for the extra one-on-one time, even if it was spent in one of the most soul-suckingly awful activities known to man.. packing ones life into a 17-square-foot moving van.

I learned a few important things.

1) women are not well built for lifting and carrying large objects. we have short arms and boobs that present a significant obstacle.
2) apparently one should not make attempts at humour while moving pianos. This is a big one, up there with 'Always wear clean underwear in case you get in a bad accident' and 'the first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about fight club.'

At any rate, he was quite appreciative of the help. I stayed in pretty good spirits, but saying goodbye was difficult and although I tried to keep a brave face on, let's face it, I wear my emotions on my sleeve like a neon beacon. It was a sad scene.

After he left, I met up with a friend at the park and we commiserated over the difficulties of dating as single parents and the obstacles that crop up. Ironically, as we were sitting in the park I looked over and saw, from a distance, some little girls and a couple of women in wedding finery and realised these were actually my children and their stepmom, as I had momentarily forgotten that saturday was the day the ex and his now-wife were to be married. As much as I wanted to go see my girls, I was not in a good place to be reminded of this at all.

I'd done some thinking and my issue only seems to come down to the question of why? Why is it difficult for me.. when I never asked for any of this? It's not that I dont' want them to be happy.. but why does he get to be, and I don't? It's petty, oh hell yes. But the blank irony is that while HE was getting married to the woman he loves (and no, I don't begrudge either of them that) I was saying goodbye indefinitely to someone I had grown to care quite a bit about, for reasons beyond either of our control.

That's pretty effed up if you ask me.

Despite feeling horribly about avoiding my own children, we bade a retreat from the park and headed downtown for a drink on a local patio. We found a small bandstand set up downtown and a free concert going on. The performers were a local hip-hop group by the name of Grand Analog. They put on a decent show, and really engaged the audience. And I'll be totally honest.. anyone that can make playing a kazoo seem cool is all right in my books.

Back to the patio, we were invited to join a group of out-of-town boaters, a decent group of gentlemen. Had some food, had some laughs. However due to the unseasonably chilly evening, I had to call it a night fairly early.

of marriage and babies and such.

I came to the conclusion this weekend as I witnessed two very dear friends of mine pledge themselves to each other before friends and family that although I love the idea of weddings, in reality, when it comes down to attending I'm not a fan at all. I just seem to forget this when not there in the moment.

I'm infatuated with the idea of getting dressed up and the joviality and the romance of it all. This fantasy tends to shatter in the moment when I am faced with the grim reality of my own social awkwardness. That awkwardness was compounded this Saturday by a grinding headache resulting from a not-so-pleasant encounter with my car door. Imagine if you will, there I am feeling rather sexy and sophisticated, dressed to a tee, and as I lean into the car to place the gift in the backseat.. WHAM! Head meets door hard enough to draw blood, tears and a few choice obscenities. Life likes to take me down a notch every so often.

That said, it was a lovely ceremony. My own grumbles about social conventions aside, it's heartening to witness the hope and optimism that weddings bring, especially when you can see excitement written on the faces of the newlyweds as clear as though it had been written in sharpie marker.

*******************************************************************************

Yesterday while picking the girls up from their father's place, I ventured up to the highway to get gas and return some movies. It was there we had the unsettling experience of happening upon a pro-life demonstration that was taking place in front of the mall. My girls, both competent readers for their ages, began asking about the various placards reading such things as 'Abortion Kills Children'.

I can only imagine what was going through their heads. Was this something they should be concerned about? Was it perhaps some monster that eats small children in the night? What a subject to be broached on a Sunday afternoon in the car. *sigh* I attempted to handle the situation as diplomatically as possible, explaining as simply as I thought necessary for a 6 and 8 year old to process.

Being what I consider pro-choice (not the same as pro-abortion) I had a fantasy of running into Staples for bristol board and magic marker and creating my own placard in the name of presenting a dissenting opinion. (for some reason this fantasy involves me in a lawnchair smoking a cigarette - there must be some subconcious association between smoking and rebellion at work here). It could have been an opportunity to teach my children about speaking out on your beliefs. It could have also been an opportunity for my children to witness their mother in the midst of an idealogical melee, which wouldn't have been quite so cool.

So I drove home, feeling somewhat impotent and disappointed in myself. For as much as I may disagree with the folks out on the highway, they had the conviction to stand which was more than I could say for myself that afternoon.

The non-stoppage

I could probably fill a book with the goings-on of the last few weeks, I tell yas.

Last weekend was my sister's wedding. On the thursday night before the wedding, I get home from baseball to a message that my dad is at the hospital, having been hit in the face with a softball at his own game. Nicky tell's me I should drop the kids off at Tony's and go sit with mom at the hospital. She's a wreck, needless to say. The ball, I should mention, knocked Dad out cold. I'm sure for a few moments she was probably wondering if he was dead. I would have been.

Oddly enough, that same night, at my game, the pitcher on the opposing team got hit with a line drive to the neck. As I'm telling my mom about this, the gentleman across the row from us mention that was his wife. He commented on my uniform and says "So, you're on blue? You're not the one that hit her, are you?' No, I can barely hit, let alone hit hard enough to take someone out. But thanks.

We end up having to follow an ambulance down to RVH, as dad needs to see an emergency ophthamologist. There's some concern about 'damage' - meaning, in short, he could possibly lose his eye. As luck would have it, had he not been wearing glasses, although they did cause some damage, he definitely WOULD have lost the eye. Mom and I drive down there, and wait for the ass-hat ophthamologist (prescibed a bunch of stuff, but forgot to put a quantity on the most important script) to do his thing. It's not looking good at this point. The words 'Hamburger MEat' were used in conjuction with my dad's cornea. He looks like a bag of shit at this point. We are told he has to come back the next two days in a row, and might not be able to make the wedding.

Fortunately, despite things looking dicey on friday (after coming back from the hospital, he was pretty much in bed all day), be saturday, he was there to walk nick down the aisle, get some pictures taken (with large sunglasses to cover up the gore), and through most of dinner. I was glad to see him make it, because it was hard seeing Nick so upset, and conflicted, since it was a freak accident with no one to blame. Things always go wrong at weddings, but to have your dad not being there because of a rogue softball, well, that's pretty fricking wrong.

The wedding itself went off with very few hitches. I had taken the day before off to help with preparations and do the fun/girly mani-pedi day... one of our friends, Sandy brought a cooler of daquiries to the spa, complete with fancy glasses and parasols. By the end of the day though, after running around collecting trees, and the rehearsal dinner, and such, I was pretty wiped, in light of my 2.5 hrs of sleep.

We got a mostly nice day with the wedding, rained for a bit right after the ceremony which through the sched off a bit, but it wasn't disastrous by any means. My girls were adorable, I just kept looking going 'I MADE THOSE!!'. I got through my solo piece without screwing up, and got lots of compliments. Nicky looked fabulous, of course, as did us wedding party members.

I spent this week just kind of recuperating, although I enjoyed some company earlier in the week. Yeah, bizarre I know, but I'm actually 'seeing someone' which is new, and pretty foreign to me, but enjoyable nonetheless. The whole concept takes getting used to, but it's really nice, even if a bit overwhelming, to have someone who wants to be with me, on more than just the 'friend' or 'friendly lay' level. Someone who is willing to even deal with their own shyness and spend a weekend in a strange place with people he doesn't know, if only to spend time with me. Yeah, not really used to that. But I like it.

Which brings me to another fun-filled Pride weekend in toronto, which I will probably have to make a part two of, since I'm dead tired, and coming down with some kind of cold. Blah. Bedtime for me.

I got all mah sistah’s with me

Today was an enjoyable day, out with the girls, just lunching and coffeeing and general shooting of the shit.

It was the type of day I have not had in a while, I've been spending most of the winter as a hermit, not doing enough to even warrant blogging about.

I found it refreshing, to hang out with not only a close friend, but also with her two other friends. I forget sometimes how meeting new people can help to offer new perspectives. It's nice that I can think of these women as my friends now as well.

I started thinking the other day that I make too many excuses for not doing things I really want to do, mostly being lack of time and/or money.

But it's crap really... I make excuses because A) I tend towards laziness sometime, B) Change is intimidating.

I have spurts of bravery, where I decide to go out and do things, or I take risks I would normally not take... with my time, and with my heart as well. I have come to realize, that especially in matters of the heart, I'm more apt to take risks when I know the repercussions are limited.

Which I guess means I don't really take risks at all. Today I left my phone number for the exceeding cute waiter that served us at lunch. Superficial courage, really, because I don't stand to lose much if that call never comes.

I'm thinking I may need to compile one of those 'Before I hit I want to' Lists. I turn 30 in two years. What can be accomplished in two years?

By the end of June, I propose that I will list 10 goals, and begin on working my way toward them.

Some may prove to be less tangible than others (for example, I feel I should make it a goal to be less cautious around people, and learn to trust more), and others may be downright petty, but they are my goals, whatever they may be. I have ideas floating around, but I'd like to have a comprehensive list before I reveal them.

*****************************************************************

So, my sister's wedding is coming up in 3-4 weeks, and I guess I must be having sympathy nervousness, because I had this bizarre dream the other night:

I'm at the wedding, and Nicky is ever the radiant bride, but as I'm looking around, something is not right. I realize that we are in a large open gymnasium, seated at plain rectangular tables.


I say to my mom 'Hey mom, didn't anybody decorate? I thought Nicky was getting a decorator." To which my mom replies 'Don't ask, and whatever you do, DON'T say anything to your sister."


So I'm wandering around, and I start hitting on my friends' brother's friend (who would be about 17... I think this is related to another situation in my life right now, only exaggerated) and I realize, we've not done the photographs yet.


"Hey Mom, did anyone get a photographer?"
"Don't ask. Don't say anything to your sister, just pretend its all okay"


Then I took my camera and took a picture of Camilla Parker-Bowles, which resulted in my camera shattering, and I laughed because she had literally broken my camera, when I took her picture.

Then I woke up.

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Oh, by the way, I'm sexually frustrated beyond belief, in case anyone cares. I've found that after a while with dry spells (this particular one being a DOOZY), it becomes an 'Out of site, out of mind' situation... I'm okay if I don't think about it.

It's when the prospect of dirty lovin' rears its head, that HOLY HELL... And rear it's head, it has. Unfortunately, my need to wake up each morning and like myself has thus far prevented me from taking advantage of this special offer.

Personal code of ethics > Libido. *sigh*

Cue the Go-Gos day four

We woke up at 6:15ish in order to throw some clothes on and head over to the salon to get our hair done for the ceremony. We make it there for around 7:30 on the dot, yet the lady doing our hair (one hairdresser, four hairdos... let's do the math-timewise... =NOT A HELL OF A LOT OF TIME) as the ceremony is at 11am. So needless to say, we were a little worried when it got to be about 7:50 and the lady had still not shown up. Amy and I walked down the road to look for a coffee shop, as by this time I was getting to a point where I was gonna get really effin ugly if I didn't get some caffeine into my system, stat.

Beyond the car rental, I have no idea how I spent nearly 400 bucks while I was down there, considering I don't think I paid for a single meal, large or small while I was there. Someone was always buying, and insisting on it. Even for the coffee, I had offered to get everyone's coffee, then Amy plunks a 20 down at the coffee shop.

We get back, and Vina is there and has already begun working on Sammi's do. But it's looking nothing like she had said she was getting. She had described some sort of french braid thing, but mean while, Vina has pulled it all up on one side and is teasing the shit out of it, and poor Sammi looks ready to cry, either out of fear or pain, as Vina was not particularly gentle with the brush. Wendy pulls me outside and we have a moment of 'Oh my GOD, what is she doing to her? What if she hates it? Do you think we'll be able to find a Supercuts to fix it?'

FORTUNATELY, Vina's vision was true and gradually a lovely do came out of all the curling and pinning and teasing. We each got our turn, and despite worries to the contrary, we actually got to the ceremony site right on time, with time to spare to check out the reception room, and toast a glass of wine, as Sammi's nerves were getting little shot at this point I think.

The ceremony was very moving, and I kind of wish I was Jewish, or that I didn't feel bad about appropriating the customs of other religions (although I don't know if I can say 'other' if I don't belong to one to begin with) just because I like them.

The reception was fun, food was AMAZING, and all in all everything pulled together nicely in the end. After the reception was over, Sammi, Anthony and Amy took off so they could take pictures, so I took Ian and Wendy back to their hotel room then headed back to the apartment. I pulled up the same time as Mike (groomsman and downstairs neighbor) and Brian (from the rehearsal dinner), and they said they were gonna come up later when everyone got back, so I said cool and went upstairs, figured out how to work the DVD so I could throw some music on, and went to work cleaning the apartment, which sammi and anthony seemed very appreciative of when they got home. I said to consider it similar to the ancient traditon of preparing the bridal suite.

We ended up going down to Mikes place and watching the remainder of Tommy Boy, and Sammi and Anthony decided to upstairs to lie down *snicker snicker* seeing as Sammi didn't sleep the night before, as she was up doing the playlist for the reception. So I stayed downstairs and hung out with Mike, Brian, Scott, and .... Ed? I think the other guys name was?

Funny story. I really am a social retard. So Scott comes in, and he's there for a few minutes and I introduce myself, not recognizing him as the guy I talked to at the reception for like A HALF AN HOUR. Dah, dumb. But yeah, hanging out with these very fun people I have known for less than 24 hours -- Score One for the normally socially inept and painfully shy. At around 8ish we pile into Mikes car and take off for Mexican food -- The dirtier the mexican restaurant, the better the food, apparently :-D

The more you know.

Again, I got treated, which was pretty cool. And then I got mildly groped by Brian in the car as he was 'searching' for the seatbelt in the very crowded car. Yup.

There were plans to go to a bonfire at the beach but as my plane left early the next day, I decided it would be better if I just went to bed instead, as I was pretty beat by that time, although I was very tempted by the knowledge of possible campfire jamming.

So I went back, packed all my stuff up and crashed on the couch for the final night.

Blogitty blog blog blog.

I'm working again, fulltime, for the first time in nearly four years (three years of school, plus one year of mat leave). That job my sister got me that was supposed to be a one week temp job got parlayed into a fulltime summer job. I hate job-hunting with a passion, so this works well for me. I spend 8 hours a day looking up addresses for lab supply manufacturers and dealers and listen to music.

Tomorrow is my Tierneys' birthday, she's gonna be a big six years old. Happy birthday sweetheart.

Trying to get my passport info together for the summer trip to cali. Been working with wendy, one of sammis other bridesmaids about dresses. It's a tough call because we'll all pretty different body shapes, but she's got one in mind that might just work for everyone.

Speaking of weddings, I'm about to become a sister-in-law again. My sister and her man have decided to get married next june, sO i'm lined up to be a bridesmaid, and the girls as flower girls. I didn't get to be in her last wedding, I was too broke to afford a dress, so I opted to be her videographer instead. So, I look at it this way, I didn't waste my presences on the last wedding :-P The poor girl seems to think I'm not happy for her. Not the case, I'm very happy for her, just not the girly 'squealing-and-jumping-up-and-down type'

Still smoke free, rapidly approaching the three month mark. Also down 14 and a half lbs. New clothes, new hairdo, feeling pretty damn sexy.

My graduation ceremony is on wednesday, with a formal dinner and dance afterwards. Looking forward to that, a chance to get all dressed up and prettyful. Dan, who I have managed to finagle into accompanying me called today to tell me he's gotten a suit -- what a sweetheart, I'm glad he's coming. It's sure to be fun.

Started playing baseball two weeks ago, in a ladies slow-pitch league, which has been fun. Last week I managed to hit the ball into fair territory, and I also caught a ball in play, so it was a productive game for me. We may have even won, I'm not sure though. My friend kaylee signed up as well, and is on my team, so that's cool.

My migratory instincts have been kicking in again. I'm in severe need of a roadtrip.... somewhere close enough that the gas costs and the need for time off work won't cripple me financially, but far enough that I feel like I've been somewhere. Unfortunately, for the time being, this leaves Fort Frances out of the running, which is a shame because I miss the hell out of melissa, as well as eric and my awesome little goddaughter sydney. The time off is a big factor in that one, as it takes two days to get to her place if it's just me driving, and then I usually want to stick around two or three nights... so that's like a weeks vacation. I'm hoping I *might* be able to do it in the fall, but let's face it, I'm unable to commit to it any time soon. Depends on how my savings are doing, and where I am working at that point.

I'm hoping I can take a weekend trip somewhere, over a long weekend perhaps. I've already got the Cali trip, which is fantastic as far as seeing new things goes, but I don't know if air travel is gonna hold the same satisfaction for me as the open road. I've had metric on my mp3 player and I flash back to quebec last year, and I want it again, me and the highway. I think I was perhaps destined to be a truck driver, but somehow things got fouled up in the main offices of providence. *sigh* Perhaps it's better this way. As much I love road travel, I don't know how I would do in an 18wheeler. Probably more machine than I could handle.

Ramble ramble ramble. in any case, that's me lately. Not much to say that can't be done in a bi-weekly to monthly update. Cheers, all.