Quick and Dirty Photo Post.. but not actually Dirty Photos.. sorry.

So excuse this moment of vapid attention-whoring, but I got new glasses and I want to show them off.  On previous trips to purchase eyewear I was torn between lighter or thicker frames.  Last week I went in and there was a sale...

So I got both.

That is, indeed, the newly-detesticled asshole cat on the chair behind me.

Pair number two

Oh and in case you were wondering, I also got myself a little bit of a giftie.

Sexy, right?

I'm now tasked with the.. uh.. task of giving him/her/zie a name.  I haven't even assigned it a gender.. most of my other guitars I've given guy monikers.  This one is a little prettier, a little sexier that I'm inclined to lean towards a more feminine signature.

I'm thinking of naming her after a song name.  I've always been a little fascinated by 'name-songs' and always a little jealous of people who have songs with their name in the title.  At least, I was jealous until I found out that one of my favorite alt-country (I really can't lump them in with regular country, but they're not *quite rock*) bands, Blue Rodeo had a song called Andrea.  It's an odd little tune, sung by Greg Keelor, and sounds like some kind of 'My Drug Buddy' type tune.

Andrea I'm so happy that you called 
Just to hear your voice 
Helped dissolve 
The paranoia 
Until the drugs wore off


The name Jolene, after the Dolly Parton tune, is jumping out as a possible option.  It's a fairly unique name and seems to match the vibe I get from this particular instrument.

What are your favorite "Name-Songs?"  Do you share a name with any songs that you know of?

I wanted to upload a video to christen my new whats-her-face, and was inspired as I wrote this post so here you go.  Be warned, I hate seeing myself on video, so I haven't watched this.  If it's terrible, you have my sincerest apologies.



Isn't that one awesome thumbnail image?  I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!!!  I need a haircut.

In other news, I went to Guelph yesterday with my friend Tess for her birthday.  We loaded up the car with all of our respective children and her SO, and went to see A Suessical Musical along with her sister and grandma.  Was a very late night as showtime was 6:30 and Guelph is about three hours away from here.  The children were extra "F.U.N." (read: Fucking Unbelievable Nightmare) to get up this morning but all in all it was worth it, a fun time for everyone involved.

One last picture.  Although most of the time he's kind of a dick, as I have mentioned, occasionally Simon manages to break out the cute.

It's like a kitty-vampire coffin.  Kind of.  If cats were shaped like guitars.

Friday Music Lurve: The Mountain Goats

So the comp is pretty much pooched at this point. My boxing day miracle was short-lived as a software update required me to restart and it just never came back. So after 6ish years I am faced with the prospect of computer shopping. Those who know me well know that big-ticket purchases generally make me itch and/or hyperventilate. I can put it off for a bit because my company was nice enough to gift us iPads for Christmas this year. A friend of mine came over to finally set up the router I was given, after I spent a few weeks struggling to figure out the bloody thing myself. So I'm all wifi'd and working from the iPad. I feel like I should name it. Maybe Jerry.

So onward and upward. I've been listening obsessively to The Mountain Goats for the last week or two, as those on my Facebook and my cubicle neighbors at work already know. I became aware of them a year or two ago after hearing 'Cubs In Five'. I thought it a quirky lo-fi tune and a great little passive-aggressive fuck you.

And the Chicago cubs will beat every team in the league
And the Tampa bay bucks will take it all the way to the top
And I will love you again
I will love you like I used to

Now, I'm no expert on baseball, but I'm pretty sure this is the equivalent of saying "yeah and monkeys might fly out of my butt."

(I really wanted to include a picture of Mike Myers as Wayne Campbell here but I haven't figured out how to scam pictures with this thing. Use your imagination. )

I started listening to them more this year as I discovered tracks off of The Sunset Tree and Talahassee. The last couple of days I've been setting up playlists of five or six albums and just listening for hours at work. I love the themes of encompassing passion and self-destructive love that seems to pop up. I don't know who writes the bulk of the lyrics but there's a feeling of not-quite-impotent rage that pops up again and again... The feeling of someone about to burst out of their shell and go absolutely apeshit on the place.

As someone who fancies herself both a bit of a musician and a bit of a writer, I've always been drawn to powerful lyrics. Here's a few samples of lines that have been running through my head.

From 'Up the Wolves'

I'm going to get myself in fighting trim
Scope out every angle of unfair advantage
I'm gonna bribe the officials
I'm gonna kill all the judges
It's going to take you people years to recover from all of the damage

From 'No Children'

I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I hope if I find the strength to walk out
You'll stay the hell out of my way

From 'This Year'

Then Kathy showed up and we hung out
Trading swigs from the bottle all bitter and clean
Locking eyes, holding hands
Twin high-maintenance machines

Again, still getting used to this iPad. I wanted to link to all these songs, but i'm sure all my readers are savvy enough to know how to go to YouTube and look them up.

I highly recommend you do.

I almost forgot. This is super-cute.

Mountain Goats sing The Mountain Goats

"I think that ghosts like the cooler weather..."

I think this weekend, while my kids are out at an early halloween party, that I'm going to take some pictures of the local foliage. Central ontario is a great place to be in the fall (although Western Ontario is pretty breathtaking when you get into the heavy deciduous forests). I say this in spite of the nearly constant rain we've been having over the last week or two.

The constant damp, the cold, it gets into your system. I find myself wanting to eat heavy things, comfort foods with rich sauces, that kind of stick-to-your-ribs stuff that warms you to your depths. Stews, casseroles.

My house has a real haunted house feel to it, beyond the decorations that I've put outside. The stone exterior, the weathered wooden front porch littered with leaves that I have had neither the time nor the motivation to sweep away.

Mornings have gotten darker already, as have the evenings when I leave work. The unrelenting drizzle has left me feeling sweetly melancholy.

I wish for a fire place. A fire place, and clinking crystal glasses filled with lucius red wines served with expensive cheeses and green grapes.

It's a time of heavy cable-knit sweaters and quilted vests and the smell of burning leaves.

Glorious.

I'm looking forward to some sun this weekend to complement October's crisp breezes.

This song is one of my very favorite songs of all time and in my humble opinion, embodies everything I love about Fall, the strange mix of melancholy and contentment and the slow cocooning of oneself in preparation for the Winter. Of harvests and generations past.



You can tell by the wind
By fresh cut wood all stacked to dry
That autumn's here. It makes you sad
About the crummy summer we had
With pine trees creaking
The raven's screeching
Just like the story my grandma tells
About when a bird hits your window
Someone you know is about to die


Autumn's here, autumn's here
It's ok if you want to cry
'cause autumn's here, autumn's here, autumn's here


So find a sweater and you'll be better
Until the kindling is tinder dry
We can be quiet as we walk down
To see the graveyard where they are now
I wonder how they brought their piano
To Holdene Hill from old Berlin
Be hard to keep it well in tune
With winters like the one that's coming soon


Cause autumn's here, autumn's here
It's time to cry now
That autumn's here,autumn's here, autumn's
It's ok if you want to cry
Because autumn's here


I think that ghosts like the cooler weather
When leaves turn colour they get together
And walk along these, these old back roads
Where no one lives and no one goes
With all their hopes set on the railway
That never came and that no one stayed
I guess that autumn gets you remembering
And the smallest things just make you cry.


Autumn's here, autumn's here, autumn's here that autumn's here
Autumn's here, it's time to cry
Cause autumn's here
Autumn's here, autumn's here
It's ok now, cause autumn's here


Autumn's Here - Hawksley Workman 

just a random thing that sucks...

listening to a really awesome song.. then pausing to listen to the lyrics and finding that they're.. um.. well, a bit rapey.

I know, I know.  Everyone and their grandma goes through bit of cognitive dissonance this at Christmas time when they listen to 'Baby it's cold outside' and find themselves singing along with Dean Martin (or possibly Will Ferrell) as he alludes to spiking his date's drink (in Ferrell's case, the adorable Zooey Deschanel) during what is possibly the rapiest christmas carol going.  Possibly? No, definitely.

I've run into it other times as well.  Outside of the Hair Metal and Gangsta Rap genres, even.

Example?

Bruce Springsteen's "Fire" (mistakenly attributed to Jeff Buckley on my Grooveshark playlist)  Honestly, I don't know who performs the version I have.  all I know is that although I still dig the melody I get a little squicked out when I take a close listen to the lyrics:

I’m driving in my car, I turn on the radio
I’m pulling you close, you just say no
You say you don’t like it, but girl I know you’re a liar
`Cause when we kiss, Fire

Late at night I’m takin’ you home
I say I wanna stay, you say you wanna be alone
You say you don’t love me, girl you can’t hide your desire
`Cause when we kiss, Fire

There's something off here.  Bruce as the narrator doesn't seem to quite grasp enthusiastic consent, and seems a little co-ercive in his efforts to woo his date.  Accusing one of lying is definitely romantic as well, don'tcha think?

I betcha 'But... Your Honor... When we kissed.... FIRE!!' would be an awesome defence in a date rape trial.

This is why I can't have nice things.

Got about 20 minutes before the work whistle blows..

So let's talk about censorship.  Well, an part of censorship that is often not talked about:  Radio edits of popular songs.

Ever listen to a song on the radio, find it really catchy, then get the album and go "Whoa, wasn't expecting THAT!"  Maybe it was hearing Thom Yorke sing "You're so fucking special" for the first time in Radiohead's  Creep.  When I first bought Hawksley Workman's Lover/Fighter (well, actually my friend bought it and burned it for me, and burned herself a copy of Between the Beautifuls that I had bought after his show at the Danforth Music Hall back in 2007, but I digress) and popped in my car stereo, I *may* have nearly driven off the road when the first line of We Will Still Need a Song chimed in with a resounding "Fuck you, you're drunk and acting tough...".  Up until then, I had heard only the radio-friendly lyrics "Baby, you're drunk etc etc"

On occasion I find the radio edit preferable to the uncensored version.  For years, I loved the innocent first-gushing-mooshy-puppy love feel of Liz Phair's Why Can't I with lines like:

Here we are, we're at the beginning
We haven't kissed yet but my head is swimming


When I heard the unedited version that replaced 'kissed' with 'fucked' I just felt kind of... bleh.  Like some of the uncynical, unjaded innocence I had always read into the song was lost.  Of course, I wasn't totally aware at the time that Liz Phair was all about jaded cynicism.  To this day, when I play this song, I refused to sing the original lyrics.

The album version of Eminem's breakout hit Hi, My Name Is was another one that left me cold.  I found the radio edit fun and mischevious.. Eminem was a troublemaker, a bit of a miscreant but in a likeable way, kind of like a grown-up fucked up Dennis the Menace.  Of course the album version is a lot closer to what we were to expect from Eminem.. violent, mysogynistic etc.  Meh.

The latest one to get my goat is Enrique Iglesias' Tonight I'm Loving (Fucking) You (depending on the edit). The radio edit is irritating at best, but the album edit is creepy and downright rapey.  Come on, Enrique.  What happened to you?  Once upon a time you were all "Oh, I could be your hero, baby" and now this?  I guess the bloom is off the rose and all attempts at romance have gone right out the door.  Now you just sound like the asshole boyfriend who was all nice and sensitive and on his best game in the beginning but now his idea of foreplay is "Hey, wanna screw?"

What would your dad say, Enrique?

Source

Addenendum:  In response to this piece, I got the following string of text messages from The Danno and I felt I should share:

"Oh poor, sweet, innocent 'Drea - if only you'd heard the original cut to "Hero" it may not have come as such an ugly revelation... I can be your hero baby (with my cock) I can kiss away the pain (with my cock)"

"Enrique has always been a rapey pig and a disappointment to his father-soft core conservative radio edits only masked it from us for the last few years ;-)"

New appreciation for Irony

I'd been carving you
To see what form you'd take
You were hiding in ivory
I just wanted to free your shape

Bringing me down, its too quiet to breathe
Who wants to hear their heart beat?

It's gotta be here
In your spider-web alphabets
Did I read it all wrong?
Or have I just not gotten it yet?

You got what you want. You wanted release.
Can you be appeased? Can you bring it all back to me?
Bring it all back to me

Bringing me down, the obvious turned out to be true
All that I couldn't see, how it was turning me on
I don't want to pare you down
No, I don't want to wear you down
I don't want any more than what's here
No, I don't want to pare you down

Well you got what you want. You wanted release.
Can you be appeased? Can you bring it all back to me?
Just bring Just bring it all back to me

It's all that I want
It's all that I need
It's all that I want

Bring it all back to me
Bring it, give it, bring it


The irony, the irony, the irony. Oh Gord, it's like you know me.

I don't usually do this...

I'm not generally one to post other people's song lyrics in a blog, but it's also rare that I come across a song that completely describes how I am and am feeling at a particularly space in time. This is from one of my current favorite artists, Kimya Dawson. I highly recommend checking her out. I know a few of you out there who would probably really enjoy her.

So Nice, So Smart

I was quiet as a mouse
When I snuck into your house
and took roofies with your spouse,
in a nit, and out a louse
Lice are lousy all the time
They suck your blood, drink your wine
Say 'Shut up and quit your crying
Give it time and you'll be fine'


You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend,
I have to break your heart
I'll tell you that I love you
Then I'll tear your world apart
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart.


I like boys with strong convictions
And convicts with perfect diction
Underdogs with good intentions
amputees with stamp collections
plywood skinboards ride the ocean
salty noses, suntan lotion
Always seriously joking
And rambunctiously soft-spoken
I like boys that like their mothers
and I have a thing for brothers
But they always wait until we're under covers
to say "I'm sure glad we're not lovers"


You're so nice and you're so smart
You're such a good friend
I have to break your heart
I'll tell you that I love you
then I'll tear your world apart.
Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart


I like my new bunny suit
When I wear it , I feel cute.

I'm always late with stuff

I wish I had of discovered the pixies like TEN years ago. Thanks to some people around here, I've been a little obsessed.

While not my favorite song by them, the imagery in this one is haunting. If someone sang it to me, I wouldn't know whether to be touched, or run like hell.


CACTUS
Sitting here wishing on a cement floor
Just wishing that I had just something you wore

I put it on when I go lonely
Will you take off your dress and send it to me?

I miss your kissin' and I miss your head
And a letter in your writing doesn't mean you're not dead
Run outside in the desert heat
Make your dress all wet and send it to me

I miss your soup and I miss your bread
And a letter in your writing doesn't mean you're not dead
So spill your breakfast and drip your wine
Just wear that dress when you dine

P I X I E S

Sitting here wishing on a cement floor
Just wishing that I had just something you wore

Bloody your hands on a cactus tree
Wipe it on your dress and send it to me

Sitting here wishing on a cement floor
Just wishing that I had just something you wore

It's a good day to be Andrea - Ninjas rock my world remix

Chris is awesome. Nuff said.

Andrea - Blue Rodeo

Earlier tonight I got a little scared
I thought that I had failed
I closed my eyes bowed my head and prayed
I saw that all and everyone were one

Never knowing if I'm lost
Never knowing if I'm found
Chasing that long dark spiral
Going down and down
And down
And down

Andrea I'm so happy that you called
Just to hear your voice
Helped dissolve
The paranoia
Until the drugs wore off

I think the reason why
You're so high

Is that you know the truth
I see it in your smile
Your gentle eyes
And your hollow tooth

Where some might despair
You find a way to celebrate
And you can see through me
Just like I can see through you
You see through me

Andrea I'm so happy that you called
Just to hear your voice
Helped dissolve
The paranoia
Until the drugs wore off

Andrea you are not alone here
You must be everywhere
Like any savior might be
At least a savior to me

It's a good day to be Andrea

I've always been a little jealous of women who have names that are featured in song titles. The Sherrys (yes sherry, I mean you), the Angie's, hell even the Enids. I've always felt a little left out that no one would ever cheesily dedicate a song to me, on the sheer sake that we share a name. No, never happened. The closest I ever came was a song by Diesel Boy called Andy Stern.

When People hear my name, the last thing I want them to be reminded of is a song that contains the line He's short and stoned and he's never on time/ He ain't been laid since 1989

As great of as song as I think that is, not the musical earmage (that's my take on audial images -- Did I not say I had the power to make up random words?) I want people to get when they hear my name.

I've just found not one but TWO songs that share my name. There is a song called Andrea by Blue Rodeo, off the album The Days In Between. I can't seem to find the lyrics online, which kind of sucks. But the song exists, it's on their website. I'm downloading like 7 BR albums, apparently the album it's on is not one of them.

On top of that, there is a song by MxPx called Andrea off the album Life in General.

The lyrics to this one are cheesy but cute... Something I could handle being associated with.

Meeting you was just so unexpected
I guess I was scared of being rejected

Since you were so nice
I wouldn't think twice
I'd give it all away for one more day with you

If ever there was a girl to be engaged to
That amazing girl would have to be you

Before we hung out
Don't know how I lived without
Your beautiful face - like God's amazing grace

Andrea, I say your name and all I can do is
Think about the way you smiled
And kinda sorta held my hand
Went out for coffee in what must have been the smallest town in Kentucky

Andrea, we walked together
Down the dirt road by the bridge
That we sat by each other
Talked about a few things
You looked at me I looked at you
Before you know, it's time to go!

I mean it's seriously like 9th grade poetry lyrics, but the point is, it exists! It's a good day to be an Andrea.

Anti-love songs

It's valentines day, I'm pissy so I turn to my ONE true love, music, to find the songs that sympathize with my feelings about this day and the construct of 'luv'.

In no particular order

Lunachicks - Cumming into my Own

Girl gives up on the bs of relationships, and gives into the joys of masturbation. Thats my take on it though

Line that makes you go 'FUCK YEAH!' - And if I don't pick up the phone/it may not mean that I'm not home/I may be laying there alone/feeling fine, feeling mine

Screeching Weasel - Love

No, no I don't wanna don't make me do it

Line that makes you go fuck yeah - Love is for assholes/Love is for assholes, it's true/ and I don't wanna be in love with you

Tool - Prison Sex

Well you don't get much less romantic than forced sodomy, do you?

Metric - Patriarch on a Vespa

The dark side of the white picket fence dream

Lines that make you go fuck yeah - Are we all designed to be confined/buy ourselves chastity belts and lock them

Offspring - Self-esteem

I include this, because I have lived it.

Seven Mary Three - Home Stretch

Angry growly song with a catchy chorus

Lines that make you go FUCK YEAH - Theres only one sound to love/ Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye/ Ain't it good

Headstones - And

Let's get over it, lets move on, I don't wanna fuckin' talk about it.

Lines that make you go Fuck yeah - Lets not find the weakness/hit the bruise/ what good would it do/let's not drag out the details/salt the wounds/what good would it do

**********************************************************************

Listening to the song Rocket Queen by Guns N roses...

Listening to this song does anyone else get the idea that maybe axl had to do some things he was not too proud of upon arrival in L.A. This song screams male prostitution to me.

Remember, that we don't repeat our mistakes of the past

Today is remembrance day, a day to pay respect to our veterans of the wars of old. Unfortunately, many use this as a time to also justify taking in battle of ethnocentricities and 'we're better than them' mentalities frightfully similar to the regime so many fought a mere sixtyish years ago

Despite this co-opting of such a solemn day for hegemonic purposes, I still carry my poppy with me, for those who had the courage of their convictions to fight ALL genocidal regimes, not just those who are profitable to oust. As opposed to the paper poppies, I have a special keychain I purchased at the War Museum which is with me at all times. If you ever have a chance to go, I suggest it. It's a moving experience.

I carry it for the thousands, I carry it for my Uncle Jack Lemon who died in battle, I carry it for my Uncle Keith Lemon, who although he wasn't killed, was still lost to the war inside himself. I carry it for my Great-Granpa Earl Lemon who took part in both world wars.

I also carry it for the men who risked their lives (many unwillingly) in Vietnam, only to be spit on by the masses upon their return.

Although I disagree with this so-called 'War on Terrorism' -- or as I prefer to call it "War on the Other" -- I hold respect for those who choose to fight, for they have the courage of their convictions, even if those convictions disagree with my own. I hold no respect for the Administration behind them, however.

That's my political moment for the day.


Well, how do you do, Private William McBride, 
Do you mind if I sit down here by your graveside? 
And rest for awhile in the warm summer sun, 
I've been walking all day, and I'm nearly done. 
And I see by your gravestone you were only 19 
When you joined the glorious fallen in 1916, 
Well, I hope you died quick and I hope you died clean 
Or, Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene? 


Did they Beat the drum slowly, did the play the pipes lowly? 
Did the rifles fir o'er you as they lowered you down? 
Did the bugles sound The Last Post in chorus? 
Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest? 


And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind 
In some loyal heart is your memory enshrined? 
And, though you died back in 1916, 
To that loyal heart are you forever 19? 
Or are you a stranger without even a name, 
Forever enshrined behind some glass pane, 
In an old photograph, torn and tattered and stained, 
And fading to yellow in a brown leather frame? 


The sun's shining down on these green fields of France; 
The warm wind blows gently, and the red poppies dance. 
The trenches have vanished long under the plow; 
No gas and no barbed wire, no guns firing now. 
But here in this graveyard that's still No Man's Land 
The countless white crosses in mute witness stand 
To man's blind indifference to his fellow man. 
And a whole generation who were butchered and damned. 


And I can't help but wonder, no Willie McBride, 
Do all those who lie here know why they died? 
Did you really believe them when they told you "The Cause?" 
Did you really believe that this war would end wars? 
Well the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame 
The killing, the dying, it was all done in vain, 
For Willie McBride, it all happened again, 
And again, and again, and again, and again.

Musical Kryptonite.

Okay it sounds weird, but if someone were to sing this for me, I would be powerless against it -- I would be theirs forever (not counting those who have access to this blog... that's just cheating.) It's such a sweet love song, even if a little morbid

The Ghosts That Haunt Me

There's a skeleton in everybody's closet

I can think of one or two in my own room

But I would like to introduce them both to you

You'd shake their bony hands and so dispel the gloom

'Cause you're so kind I know you would not mind

You'd chase away the ghosts that haunt me now

And the things I fear they wouldn't seem so near

When I stroll out late at night there would be nothing rattling at my heels

There are nights when all my aching bones won't let me sleep

Demons come to plague me as I lie in bed

But I know if you were sleeping there beside me then

You would fend them off and they would let me rest

'Cause you're so kind I know you would not mind

You'd send away the ghosts that haunt me now

And the things I fear just wouldn't seem so near

When I stroll out late at night there would be nothing rattling at my heels

There are nights when the wind comes out to my old place

I have dreams yeah I wake up with the sweat pouring down my face

and I wait 'til the morning comes

There will come a time I feel when all my days are done

They will come collect my corpse and bury me

But I hope that you'll come over to the other side

Join me in our new life, keep me company

'Cause you're so kind I know you would not mind

You'd send away the ghosts that haunt me now

And the things I fear just wouldn't seem so near

When I stroll out late at night there would be nothing rattling at my heels

***************************************************************************

In other news: There's getting to be a ridiculously high hot dog cart to people ratio in Midland. Apparently we are competing to become the 'street meat' capital of the world?

Going to see Clerks 2 tomorrow night. Looking forward to it!