Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Update from the sickbed

Day four of this godawful throat-infection whatever the hell I have.  Second day home from work.  For four days I've felt like I have a giant gob of something or other right in the back of my throat, but whenever I try to dislodge it through swallowing or coughing I'm wracked with pain.  My ears are starting to hurt as well, and I've taken to turning the closed captioning back on the myriad of movies I've been watching in order to pass the time.  I'm hungry as all hell but the only things I've been subsisting on are soup and toast and tea.

I called my doctor's office to see if they were still running a walk-in clinic.  It seems I had this wrong, it was an after hours clinic, appointment still necessary.  Now, first off, my doctor is awesome.  I credit the guy with saving my life on more than one occasion.  He's always been good about answering any questions I've had (or my mom's when I was in hospital), checks to see what my drug coverage is before prescribing me stuff (when necessary... I left my old doctor because I felt he was a pill pusher) and always asks about work/home/ general stress levels and such.

But oh my god, I hate my doctor's office.  Getting an appointment is a pain in the ass.  First, the line is always busy.  If I do manage to get through, I am inevitably put on hold.  This wouldn't be such a problem if it wasn't for the fact that one day I was in the waiting room when the phone rang and I watched as the receptionist put the caller on hold to finish the story she was telling to another assistant.  NOW whenever I get put on hold I sit and wonder if they're just standing there talking about their weekend.   As someone who answers phones as part of her own job, it's appalling.  I'm pretty sure if I were to put a customer on hold so I could finish telling someone about the party I went to on the weekend, I wouldn't have this job very long.

Then if you get through, it's usually a three week wait to get an appointment, which is useless, since I'm sick now.  This usually means going to emerg, or ploughing through and doing nothing.  To me the Emergency room is for emergencies.  You know, when you're having a heart attack or you've just chopped off an extremity or have been shot in the ass with a pellet gun or you're doubled over in pain from some mystery ailment.  Sore throat and general malaise is not an emergency. 

I accidentally let both my portable phones go dead.  Seems when I made banana bread last week and needed to free up an outlet for the mixer I unplugged the phone charger, not the charger for the powerdrill.  As a result I had to call from my cell.

Rec:  Doctors' Office, Can I get you to hold please?
Me: Uhm, no actually, I'm calling from a cell phone, I'd rather not hold.  I just have a quick question.
Rec: *exaggerated sigh* What is your question?

Seriously?  Pardon me for not wanting to pay by the minute for dead air.  Nope, don't even get the benefit of cheesy on hold music.  Just an intermittent 'beep beep' to let me know they haven't hung up on me outright.

Speaking of cheesy music, I feel I am failing as a mother.  Yesterday my nine-year-old asked me to mail a letter for her.  It was a fan letter.

To Ke$ha. 

T's new role model.  Oh lucky lucky me.  *sigh*
Yes.  My darling oldest daughter has decided that's she's going hero worship a watered-down Lady Gaga who likes to sing about brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels.  Her new ambition in life is to be a fashion designer so she can make clothes for this woman.

Bask in my pride, all. 

I think this is her way of rebelling early.  She plays Top 40 radio in her room, and next thing you know, she'll be wearing Aeropostale and watching reality TV.

I do kind of wish I had scanned the letter before I sent it, though.  I may be failing in exerting my cultural influence, but on the bright side, her penmanship has already surpassed my own.  So that's something. 

While we're on the subject of cheesy music, I've had Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA" in my head all morning.  After a broken sleep of many small snippets of bizarre yet vivid dreams that are all but faded from my memory now. Something about a dock, and swimming, and Reegs as a baby, and Hamish Linklater being my cousin, only his name was Shaun.  Weirdness.

So me and my swollen-ass glands are headed back to the couch to rewatch a few more movies until it's time to go pick the kiddies up from their dad's. 


  1. Honey Bun! I'm so sorry you are sick. Did you ever actually GET your doctor's appointment? If you can't get in, get to urgent care, sounds like you need some help kicking whatever this is.

    As for Ke$ha, my daughter likes her too much to my dismay. she knows all the words to that song about brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack. Hopefully that doesn't mean we're failing as role models, just that they are branching out and discovering who they are. Right?

  2. The ever-pleasant receptionist told me you have to call the day-of for the after-hours clinic, so if I'm still feeling crappy tomorrow I'm going to give them a shout. Otherwise Emerg it's going to have to be.

    The Kesha thing mostly just hurts my elitist indie-music ego. I kind of hoped it'd be someone like Emily Haines or Hannah Georgas or Karen O... you know?

  3. Coffee and Pickles, that's what I'm having. Thanks for the morning news. :)

    You must be pretty sick to be feeling the need for a doctor, huh? Being sick sucks. Everyone agrees. It is one of the few truly universal universals. Hope you're feeling better soon.

    As for daughters, well, I have none, only nieces, but one time I was out shopping the oldest, she was then thirteen, and everyone thought I was her dad, and the funny thing is I enjoyed it. I felt like I had the ultimate status symbol. She's a gorgeous girl, and when in public, very well mannered. Around her mom, at that age, another story.

    My sister had the policy of always honoring her choices, and now my dear niece is in college and has grown to be a divinely tolerant person with amazingly diverse taste. So I think my sister was right.

    Cheers, Rick

    Rick's Blog

  4. Personal experience has taught me not to ignore illness for too long, as doing so can be your eventual undoing. And living in the land of universal healthcare, well, I'm paying into the system so I might as well make use of it when needed.

  5. I know - the wait times for appointments are ridiculous. If you are SICK NOW, then that appointment 3-4 weeks away is useless. I hope to hell you're still not ill then!

    My parents have had to wait up to 8-12 weeks sometimes. Seriously? I mean, that is unacceptable.

    We need more (qualified) doctors.

    Hope you feel better soon.

  6. I think it's ok to listen to shitty music as long as you recogniize how shitty it is. And at least Lady Gaga writes her own stuff and is capable of playing the piano. I can't think of a single thing Kesha is talented at... is autotune a skill?

  7. I actually have some respect for the Ga, myself. She puts me in mind of a modern-day Madonna/Bowie combination. She's over the top, yes, but she also seems to have a lot to say. Even though her music doesn't fall into my preferred genres, I still enjoy a number of her tunes.


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