I just can't let shit go sometimes...

Dear Nick Flora,

I feel I need to clarify myself, and frankly, Twitter is not the platform. I’m sure that by carrying on this conversation I’m only digging myself deeper but I can’t leave this issue hanging.

The backstory:













What I mean to say is that there are certain things, like cars and computers, that I will not attempt to fix myself, because in my attempts to repair these items, there is a good chance I will only succeed in damaging them further, probably quite beyond repair.

Guitars are fabulous in their simplicity. If you have a guitar that is not functioning properly, chances are it is fixable. Short of ripping the electronics out and stomping on them and possibly lighting them on fire and having the neighbours dog come over and pee on them, then freezing them in liquid nitrogen and smashing them with a hammer, anything you do in your attempts to fix a guitar is not going to result in it being ‘more broken’ than it already is.

Wow. I’m STILL not articulating myself very well, am I?

*sigh*

If you have a guitar, and you try to fix it, and you find it completely unfixable, chances are it was unfixable from the beginning, not as a result of your attempts to repair it unless, of course, in the process of trying to fix the problem, you performed one of the many actions described above. In which case, Durr...

Basically in a roundabout way, I agree with your original statement.  Does that make sense now?

If not, I’m going to blame the oppressive heat for my inability to form a cohesive thought and choose to avoid speaking in more than monosyllables until the temperature decides to dip below 30C. Sound like a plan?

In the meantime, I thought that after confusing you, the least I could do is offer a more detailed explanation and some free publicity.

Nick’s Website and MySpace Page. Is good stuff. Has anyone ever told you that you sound kind of like that guy from Fastball?

For Chris...

So, I'm not much of a pot smoker. I don't like drinking/smoking by myself, I like it as a social thing. Thing is, pot makes me notably UN-social. I'm a sleeper, or I turn inwards to myself. Thoughts come to me at a rapid pace, but far too fast for them to reach my mouth, before I have another rapid thought. Either that, or I feel as though I AM actually saying things out loud, when I'm not. It's like the opposite of having no inner monologue. More like my inner monologue EATS my voice.

It is on record that I once, on one of the rare occurences that I do indulge in the weed, went for nearly two hours without speaking a word. My sister, and two of my friends, one child-free weekend (the sister and I used to co-ordinate weekends so we had the same weekends without kids) were sitting around as per usual, and this evening I had opted to partake when they offered the pipe, after probably around 8 months since my previous indulgence.

We were playing this card game we had dubbed '12-step' as it involves collecting cards in different formation, for 12 rounds. For 2 hours (because it's a godawfully long game) we sat, the sister giggled, both friends giggled, they made fun observations while I steadfastly concentrated on my cards, occasionally grunting in assent or uttering an absent-minded 'heh'.

It was a saturday so it was classic rock saturday night. Every song that came on my sister would cry 'oooooh I LOVE this SONG!' At one point a song came on and after her declaration of love for the song, there was discussion as to what the song was called

"Oooooh! I love this song! What's it called?"
"I don't know, who does it?"
"I think it's Jethro Tull, but I don't know the name!"

Blah blah blah the game goes on. I have remained in my silence for this exchange, while the wheels in my brain worked. After what seemed like 2-3 minutes to me, but what must have been closer to 30 minutes later, I have a brainstorm.

"Aqualung."

The table stops. Everyone is staring at me, like I have snakes crawling out of my eye sockets. My sister looks shocked and says "What?" I look her dead in the eye.

"AQUALUNG."

A chorus of "what the hell are you TALKING ABOUT?" I myself, don't see what is so difficult to understand, so I turn to the others and more vehemently

"AQUALUNG."

Now they're totally weirded out, thinking that, I can only assume, that I've totally lost my mind. I haven't spoken in two hours and now, a half hour after it's no longer relevent, I come out with this non-sequitor, single word phrase. Looking down at my cards I shrug.

"That was the name of the song"

The Art of Axl (originally posted @ Mog.com)

Artist: Guns N Roses, Alice In Chains, Tragically Hip, Velvet Revolver Album: Use Your Illusion One, Use Your Illusion 2, Publisher Demos, World Container Track: Pretty Tied Up, Don't Damn Me, Knockin on heaven's door, the real thing, Fly Other Tags: Quirks, observations


Axl – Acl-suhl – To Pull an Axl – The act of shouting random unrelated shit at the end of a song

the act of inserting Unrelated machismo-tainted spoken word portions into a song, usually during the outtr0.

Does it drive anyone else nuts when Musicians do this? I've dubbed this act 'Pulling an Axl' as Mr. Rose seems to be one of the worst offenders. They range from semi-weird to the inconceivably inane. Think of the particularly line part in 'Pretty tied up'; "Cool Ranch Dressing"

WHAT . THE . F$&%. (my now-reading-age kid is in the room). Cool Ranch Dressing?

He pulls a double-Axl (smirk smirk) at the end of 'Don't Damn Me' off Use Your Illusion I. At songs end, he blurts out "Smokem if you got 'em!" for no particular reason. Maybe he thought better of it, because then – possibly forgetting that they were still RECORDING – he declares "ALL RIGHT ! THAT SUCKED !"

The other Axlism, is to add weird rambling spoken word parts to otherwise decent songs. I won't even get into them, but they are usually tinged with some kind of hostile machismo, but it's really hard to tell, because he's pretty much just blathering and spewing profanity.

He's not the only one guilty. In the publisher demo release of Alice in Chains 'The Real Thing' Layne, possibly (no, probably) under the influence of some sort of narcotic, sings loud, sings proud 'Sexual Chocolate, Baby!' Maybe he was practicing to be the first singer for GNR II … I mean, velvet revolver.

We have our own offenders at home here, including one near and dear to my heart, Mr. Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip. Although he's well known for his intensive monologuing during live shows (which I don't count as Axlisms, since 1. They tend to form some sort of narrative, rather than random verbal threats to no one in particular and 2. They're darn entertaining.

however, Gordie's picked up a disconcerting habit of adding bizarre little qualifiers to lyrics, such as his excessive use of 'That's right' in the song 'Fly'.

Does anyone else have some examples of gratuitous 'Axling?' Especially those committed in a studio, rather than onstage? The onstage Axlism is a teensy bit more forgivable than the studio recorded one. I mean, hey, who doesn't get a little excited in front of crowd, right?

teef pt 2

 Tylenol 3's are fun.

I have a suprisingly high tolerance for sedation.  I was fine within an our of coming out of the anestetic.  I'm now two wisdom teeth lacking, but not missing them.
I miss solids though.  Does sushi count as a soft food?  I'm getting sick as shit already of pudding and ice cream, and it's only been one day.