Musical Kryptonite.

Okay it sounds weird, but if someone were to sing this for me, I would be powerless against it -- I would be theirs forever (not counting those who have access to this blog... that's just cheating.) It's such a sweet love song, even if a little morbid

The Ghosts That Haunt Me

There's a skeleton in everybody's closet

I can think of one or two in my own room

But I would like to introduce them both to you

You'd shake their bony hands and so dispel the gloom

'Cause you're so kind I know you would not mind

You'd chase away the ghosts that haunt me now

And the things I fear they wouldn't seem so near

When I stroll out late at night there would be nothing rattling at my heels

There are nights when all my aching bones won't let me sleep

Demons come to plague me as I lie in bed

But I know if you were sleeping there beside me then

You would fend them off and they would let me rest

'Cause you're so kind I know you would not mind

You'd send away the ghosts that haunt me now

And the things I fear just wouldn't seem so near

When I stroll out late at night there would be nothing rattling at my heels

There are nights when the wind comes out to my old place

I have dreams yeah I wake up with the sweat pouring down my face

and I wait 'til the morning comes

There will come a time I feel when all my days are done

They will come collect my corpse and bury me

But I hope that you'll come over to the other side

Join me in our new life, keep me company

'Cause you're so kind I know you would not mind

You'd send away the ghosts that haunt me now

And the things I fear just wouldn't seem so near

When I stroll out late at night there would be nothing rattling at my heels

***************************************************************************

In other news: There's getting to be a ridiculously high hot dog cart to people ratio in Midland. Apparently we are competing to become the 'street meat' capital of the world?

Going to see Clerks 2 tomorrow night. Looking forward to it!

Ill-gotten booty.

The laws of probability were on my side tonight.

I won a whole bunch of shit at karaoke tonight. Including THIS:

WARPED TOUR! BOO-FUCKING-YAH. 

(it's what happens when you karaoke on prize night, when it's dead and then sing about a half dozen songs or more. There were maybe 5 non-staff singers. My odds were amazing.)

Happy Andie.

Tasty tidbits.

I've been driving around without my insurance information handy. Oops.

***************************************************************************

I JUST remembered today that I have a take-home exam that needs to be done by Tuesday morning. Since tomorrow is Nanny's birthday, and Monday is grocery day, I guess that means my day today is pretty much planned. Gah. I hate spur of the moment essays, even if they are only three pages. Can't wait to pass Enviro-Sci and never have to take another science course again.

EVER.

***************************************************************************

I've come to the realization that I have an irrational fear of people thinking I am trying to take advantage of them. I think it goes back years when one of my 'friends' moms allegedly called me a mooch. Ever since then, I worry that people are going to think I'm using them for stuff. That's why I never ask anyone for anything.

Came to this the other day when I ran into a friend I haven't really talked in a long time invited me to come over a swim. Now I feel weirded out if I call, because it may be construed that that is the reason, when in actual fact, I just used to really enjoy hanging out with that person.

Yes. I am a little neurotic.

***************************************************************************

I have to clean my car today. It's really really gross. Still need to figure out how I'm going to fix the ceiling as well (see Pride day blog).

***************************************************************************

Went Karaoke legioning with the parentals last night (I know sammi, I didn't call you. Call me in the next day or two because I think we are going to karaoke on wednesday if you can get yourself up to midland you are welcome to come!)

My parents incredibly drunk friend kept putting his arm around me while his wife gave me dirty looks. Uncomfortable. Cue impromptu 'pee' break (read: Get me the fuck away from these people). *shudders

I kick ass at Led Zepplin (new KDJ's had Ramble on. Happy Andie. But only two Tragically Hip songs. Slightly Disgruntled Andie)

***************************************************************************

 Hit Wasaga Beach on Thursday with Dan and the girls. Had a good laugh at the fact that people's assumption that he is 'with' me and my kids, makes his ogling of women on the beach not just lecherous, but particularily detestable. And makes me a clueless doormat.

In the eyes of others, I mean.

I got sunburnt on the backs of my calves and on my cleavage.

***************************************************************************

My allergies are bugging the shite out of me.

***************************************************************************

Last night after dropping the girls off I sat and played my guitar until the pain was too excruciating to even touch the fretboard, and I had to stick my fingers in frigid water between songs. What a thrilling feeling. My callouses are coming back. I'm almost ready to try playing in public again.

There's an Open Mike night at the coffee shop downtown tonight. If I'm done my essay, or at least have a good chunk of it done, I'm gonna go check it out. Don't know if I'm gonna play or not, but at least I have one or two songs I can do well, and all the way through. I'm gonna take the guitar with me and see what happens. 

Get so nervous. The last time I played in public (read: on a stage. Campfires are different) I fucked up pretty bad. Mind you, that was about 7 years ago.

7 Years? Holy shit.

***************************************************************************

Because I'm feeling cheesy, I feel like posting a poem I wrote a while back. If you all like it, cool. If not, meh. Whatever.

ON SMALL TOWN ADOLESCENCE

I remember like it was yesterday

The diamond lights

Stretched shadows across the park

The night settled in

We played Hide and Seek in the dark

Not quite children now

We held on to our freedom

Pushing back our adult selves

As the twilight pushed back the sun

We hid in the trees

Drank beer behind the community centre

Took off our shirts when the summer heat 

Drenched us in cool sweat

Running into the bushes when

the cops came

And we laughed at how it screamed

we're up to no good

Changing letters on advertising signs

Risque messages left for passers-by

The police still circling, circling

As if to say 'move along'

But there is nothing here to see

we're still hiding in the trees.

Bagel Commandos!!!

My room-mate Dan is a fucking nut-job (I mean that in a positive way) but it makes for some fun times.

So I'm in the middle of cooking some chicken Tuesday night for an absolutely spectacular pesto-mozza-chicken sandwich, when I open up the bagels that I had bought the day before only to realize they are mouldy. Was I ever pissed. as my chicken is just about ready and honestly, whole wheat bread is not going to do it for a sandwich of this caliber. So it's 8:40 and the grocery store (whose name I will not mention, but lets just say it rhymes with MoodBasics) closes at 9. so I tell Dan to bring his soup with him if he wants a ride uptown (he was heading to a friends place).

So we get to the store at about 8:59 and the IN doors are locked. SO what does Dan do? He forces his way in through the out door. Meanwhile the cashier is shaking her head, as he goes through the second doors telling her to get her supervisor... I am holding up my mouldy bagels as he is holding, nay wielding the fork he had brought with him to eat his dinner.

I got to exchange my bagels, to say the least. Will I be able to shop at said grocery store again? We'll see. I won't be going to that one cashiers till anytime soon.

**************************************************************************

Hit Shanana's for Karaoke last night with Nicky, some of the Nana's staff, Cromsie and Dan. Good times. Busy but not too busy so I gots to sing a lot. Did the following:

Green day - Holiday

Tragically Hip - Little bones

Meatloaf - Paradise by the dashboard light (with Cromsie... song has new meaning when sung by two chicks)

Van Morrison - Moondance

Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen

Good times, got some good pictures which I should upload soon so's I can email them to Nicky

**************************************************************************

MELISSA IS HERE! well, her flight got in not too long ago, she should be hitting her parents place anytime now. YAY!!

War wounds (or 'look what the fucking bloodthinners did to me')

SO yeah, I went camping at my friend Jen's cottage last night. Drank too much. (a mickey of vodka, over my tolerance level). There was karaoke as well as a few guitars and I guess the combination of vodka, anticoagulants and my enthusiastic knee-slapping appreciation of good music resulted in a ridiculous amount of bruising.

That's from me keeping time with the music. Okay so I was a little over-exuberant, but shit... bruising?

Not only that but as I was walking along the rocky shore after three hours sleep (got to watch the sun coming up I did -- got to bed at 5:30 and by 8 am it was too bloody hot to sleep in the tent) to look for a nice low-traffic place to vomit, my sandal strap came open and i killed my knee on a friggin rock. AND last night the beam that was holding up the tarp fell down and hit me on the arm.

I'm a menace to myself I tells ya.

I'm going to go back to bed for a while, supposed to go to another party tonight.

Happy belated Canada day everyone.

Post Script: So... did a little internet search, and as it turns out, alcohol and anticoagulants are a bad mix. Forgot about that. Well then, no more rounds for me thanks.

Wow, I remember

Since I so rarely remember my dreams any more I wanted to get this one down.

I'm in a large hospital/school/industrial complex type place. I'm lying in a hospital bed, and there are a number of doctors and nurses attending to someone in a bed across from me, and no one can access the elevator. I have the distinct feeling that the person they are working on is dying, despite the fact that the doctors and nurses are laughing and carrying on as they work. Finally I leave my bed and, having given up on the elevator, I sneak out of a second door.

I've made my way to this lake which sits right outside the complex which is very large and foreboding on the outside. It has a look of an old-time insane asylum, the type you see in horror movies. The lake doubles as some kind of huge virtual reality shooting game and I have decided to skip to the final level. However I discover as targets pop up rapidly around me, that skipping levels was a bad idea, as I clearly lack the proper firearm for this particular level. My semi-automatic handgun does not have the rapid-fire capabilities necessary. Treading water, I laugh as I attempt to hit all the targets any way.

The water recedes to an image on my television, and I am in a living room with my dad, but I am under the impression that I am married to him, and I am pondering why I can't muster up any attraction to him. Then I clue in that he is my DAD, and laugh at my silliness. Then my ex-husband is in the room, my dad leaves, and the boy and I are discussing reasons why things didn't work out. I am speaking to him in a calm rational manner, and he is agreeing emphatically.

I am once again in the lake, in my clothes. My shirt is waterlogged, but for unknown reasons my pants are staying relatively dry. I swim out to a distant area of the lake, and encounter two young, somewhat awkward boys in their late teens floating on a water mattress, smoking a joint. They offer me some, but imagining myself trying to swim back to shore while stoned, I politely decline, and swim back to shore, with them following me.

Back in the complex which has taken on a mall-like appearance, I am going through the mall, stripping off my wet clothes as I go. Although I realize the risk I am taking wandering through the place like this, I'm not terribly concerned, nor do I feel exposed. I am more concerned with the fact that I am wet, than with the fact that I am now half naked. As I am wandering, trying to make my way back to my room to change, I run into Elsa a girl I used to work with, Patricia from school and my sister. Elsa is there as I rummage through a rack of clothing, picking out a pink chiffony type tank. I get into line to sign out my clothes, and my sister informs me that I seem to have some friends. the young guys from the lake are directly behind us in line.

I go to leave along with Nicky, and at this point I am exasperated and ask them to please move so I can leave, then side-mouth a comment about committing some violent act against these two (perhaps involving a large piece of wood with a nail stuck in it) in order to make them move. Nicky looks at me in shock and says "I didn't tell you that story did I?" She then proceeds to launch into an anecdote about her partying days. We somehow shift from topics to discussing That 70's Show and the characters we enjoyed. It is at this point I become acutely aware that I have the song "I am Anastasia" by Sponge stuck in my head, and have for quite a while now. I shout out some quotes from Caroline, Fez's crazy girlfriend, ending with "THIS...ISN'T... OVER" quite loudly. My giggles subside as I realize that I was indeed very loud and that people are looking at me with concern. I blush and walk on as though nothing has happened.

We pass through a door, and as I am jumping down a couple of large embankments, that have some rusted metal holding them up, I comment on how the show went to hell after Topher Grace left. I look around realizing Nicky is no longer with me.

Then I woke up. I go back to bed now.

A Hazard to myself

Hit the Big city of T.O. today, so I could attend the family reunion committee meeting for planning the Campbell reunion. This is year number 78. I got voted in for V.P. which means I show up and look pretty. No, just kidding, I have to go hunting for the next couple of months for raffle prizes, preferably Campbell or Scotland related then sell raffle tickies at the reunion. I'm also gonna look into setting up some kind of campbell reunion website for birth announcements, stuff like that, try to attract more numbers to future reunions, also to gather information to possibly put out a 2nd edition of the Campbell book, considering the old one is only updated to 1982.

Had fun trying to navigate my way from my SIL's place to Aunt Clara's, the first time I have been in downtown Toronto since I got my license. Only ran one red, and wound up wrong way on a one way street at one point.

See some funny shit in the city. Saw a restaurant called the "Love Cafe" and there was a sign out from hawking "Juicy Sexy Burgers". Funniest friggin' thing I have ever seen.

It was unnerving all the honking, what with the World Cup fever going on. It took me a while before I realized it wasn't people honking at my driving.

I saw the real Degrassi street. When I go down there in two weeks I wanna go back and get my pic taken under the street sign. Gawd, I'm such a hick.

I'm ass-tired now, gonna go to bed, later.

More earth shattering (mostly rhetorical) questions

Does wanting to knock my children's heads together make me a bad mother?

How come when you wipe up oatmeal with a dishcloth, no matter how many times you rinse it out, it continues to be slimy until the next laundry day?

Why do I feel like I am being ignored by an entire gender?

Gah.

Why is there a cosmic force hell bent on screwing me financially at every turn? was I a swindler in my past life and this is Karma doing her part to kick me in the box?

WTF??

Question of the day is...

Can somebody please tell me why Dave Mustaine is on Duck Dodgers? Yes, THAT Dave Mustaine. From Megadeth. On Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a half century.

Am I the only one who finds that bizarre? Of all the possible obscure celebrity guests imaginable they pick.... Dave Mustaine? For a children's show? What's next? Is Axl gonna do a guest spot on Sesame Street?

I think this is gonna be a weird day.

***************************************************************************

So, once again, my car has become my hair-shirt. Coming home yesterday, car is getting all wobbly around the 40k mark, and doesn't seem to want to accelerate much at all. Take it to the wee little gas station in Apto and the general 'hanging around the gas station' consensus is...

Catalytic Converter. No gauges came on, and my transmission fluid, coolant and oil were all up to snuff, and water in the gas tank was ruled out.

Soooo today I am gonna call around to car parts dealers to get an idea how much this shite is gonna run me, if that indeed is what it is. Gonna try to avoid driving anywhere until I get it fixed on Monday.

***************************************************************************

Oh yeah, my top two wisdom teeth have gotta come out. Gonna run around 1100 bucks. Gah. Between that and the car, I'm thinking there's some cosmic force, some money god, that does NOT want me to go to Nova Scotia this summer.

Well Screw you Cosmic Forces! (whoooo, THAT was probably not the brightest thing I could have said.)

***************************************************************************

Some bright news in the financial department though, I got an email saying there was a cheque waiting for me in the financial aid office, one that I was totally not expecting, I think now that it's an extension on the Canada Study Grant (maybe from the strike).

600 bucks. I love random, out-of-nowhere money.

And 'Harper's hundreds' start next month I think, so that'll be an extra 200 bucks a month that I can put straight into savings. 

Scrapping the National Daycare plan and implementing a childcare allowance in it's place?

Bad for the country, but fucking AWESOME FOR ME! (still think Harper is an idiot for scrapping the plan, but who am I to turn down 200 bucks a month?) Feel kind of bad for those people who's kids are on waiting lists still.

**************************************************************************

Nineteen more sleeps until Melissa is Here!! WHEEE!

**************************************************************************

Next weekend is gonna be frickin' crazy. Gotta write a final on friday in Sociology of Aging (got my presentation done for that class, I hate public speaking), then I am driving down to Toronto, meeting my friend Simon who I haven't seen for 9 years for a drink, then meeting Sam and Ian at Ian's place so we can do the Pride Day Bar Crawl. I have been informed to be prepared to see some fucked up shit. 

Yay Pride day.

THEN, the next day, Me, Sam, Ian and Ian's cat are driving out to Harriston (about 2 hour drive) to attend a bush party. 

Then it's getting everyone home again on Sunday. Whoa eh?

Anyway, so that's me at the moment. Craziness.

Please don't poke the bear.

Fuck, am I ever in a foul mood today. It's seems like the kids have done nothing but whine all day (I'm trying to get them to take a nap but thus far it's not working).

My love life is in the fucking shitter. More accurately, it's in those big fucking toxic waste barrels buried under the fucking Love Canal, and is too busy giving little children chemical burns to bother sending a little lovin' my way. GAH FUCK.

Not to mention stupid online drama. What a bunch of bullshit. 

I would seriously garrote someone or shove icepicks under their fingernails for a goddamned cigarette right now.

And yes. I'm 25 and reading Harriet the Spy. I'm full of fucking child-like wonder OKAY??