Friday, April 25, 2014

I'd probably be the best lottery winner ever.

I bought a lottery ticket last night.  The LottoMAX to be precise.  A friendly convenience store clerk talked me into it. By talked me into it, I mean she said "Ticket for tonight? 32 million." and I said "Okay, sounds good," so you know, not a lot of convincing needed.  I figured, I've beaten a lot of shitty odds lately - as in the odds of cancer before age 35, and the odds of having two sump pumps and a battery back-up fail at once - so I figured maybe I could beat some odds that would work out in my favour.

I don't usually play the Lottery, mainly because I am cheap, but also because I end up fantasizing of what I would do if I won which ends ups being a set-up for utter disappointment when I inevitably lose (spoiler alert: I didn't win).

You know those people that win lotteries and within two years piss it all away? Yeah, those people suck.  How does someone actually manage to piss away millions in a two to three year period?

Not I.  I like to think I have it pretty well thought out.  I have a list of things I'd do upon winning the lottery (estimated on a $32 million win).  Not necessarily in this order:

- Pay off this dump.  Put aside a chunk of money to flip it and sell it.
- Pay off my student loans and any other debts
- Start a search for a moderately priced, but well-built 3+ bedroom home with a second bathroom and a good chunk of property, preferably with water nearby.
- Put away 50k each for the girls education
- GTFO of town for a few weeks with the kids and the Well-Travelled one to get my head together and do some financial planning.  Road trip.
- Take a percentage of winnings and put into investments and high-interest savings accounts
- Put aside a chunk for my parents, my sister, and handful of close friends to help them out
- Sabbatical
- Go from there

One extravagance I think I would definitely allow myself would be to replace all the shitty MDF furniture my house with actual real wood.

I think if I was smart about it, I could live out the rest of my life comfortably and somewhat modestly, and secure a future for my kids where they may still have to work, but would never have to worry about food or shelter.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I'd do pretty-much the same thing. It's not that I'm cheap - I'm really not - it's just that I'm smart. There's NO way I'd piss away a million, much less multiple millions.


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