Sunday, October 23, 2011

I've got some red on me...

Oh Toronto Zombie Walk, how I adore thee.

Yesterday marked my second time at the Toronto Zombie Walk and I'm still washing blood out of my hair today.  Last year I went with a good friend of mine, and found the whole experience thrilling.  This year I got to take my two girls as they are old enough not to be too freaked out by the.. well.. freakshow. Reegs, the little one got right into it.  My oldest is getting to that 'too cool for school' age and it took some cajoling to get her into the spirit.  I was also accompanied by two of my oldest friends and my 16-year-old cousin who sometimes scares me with how much like me at that age she is capable of being.

Part of what I enjoy aside from the opportunity to engage in some imaginative, poor-taste, grotesque humor is that it's a very uncommercial, organic event.  It has yet to be bought by corporate interests and seems truly to be a home-grown community event.  Participants are generally well behaved, the cops that help to make sure no one is impeding traffic are, beneath the gruff exterior, generally well-meaning.  (as one cop tried to corral us out of a busy intersection by yelling 'clear the way' myself and another guy responded a few times with "We're working on it!" to which she replied with a sympathetic "I know..")  Non-participants seem to enjoy the event as well, gathering in doorways to watch the parade go by.

I also love how people manage to take one unifying theme (ie.. zombie apocalypse) and come up with what seems like hundreds of different ideas, even if some do show up year to year.  I have come to the conclusion that each walk will have, invariably, the following (amounts are approximate, and probably exaggerated):

  • 1 Zombie Waldo
  • 2-3 Zombie Jesus'
  • 21 Zombie Brides
  • 3-7 Zombie hunters (that is, Hunters of Zombies, not Zombiefied big game hunters)
  • 118 Shaun of the Dead characters.
  • 1-2 Thriller-Era Michael Jacksons
  • 275 Zombie Nurses
  • 314 Zombie Schoolgirls

Each year I go, I tend to get a little gorier.  I haven't done a theme costume.. mostly I just go with generic zombie.. Some nasty fake scar tattoos, light makeup, and a shite-load of fake blood.  Everywhere.  It generally does the trick.

Product Shot! Where's my damn money, Tim Hortons??
The girls had a bit of a theme.. Prom-Queen Zombie (making good use of the dress from last year's Carrie costume) and Hobo-Clown Zombie (I was reminded of Sol the Clown from my TVOntario childhood)
In front of the house.  Yes, That's a dead baby on my porch.  I put the ass in class.
At one point during the walk, I thought they may have been getting tired out, until i realized that Reagan was not getting tired.. she was TOTALLY in character.  Foot-dragging and all.  That's my girl.

So before I post some random pics, I'm going to take a poll.  Which of the following is a bigger dick move.

Entering a small, classy type restaurant (half hour away from the parade) in full Zombie Regalia, minus blood and makeup after crowding into a single stall bathroom to clean it all off, however still wearing aforementioned gaping headwound tattoos due to not having the necessary rubbing alchohol or baby oil necessary to remove them without taking a layer of skin with it.  Sitting down in said restaurant, practically ass-cheek to ass-cheek with other diners, all of whom are staring, some in amusement and some in disgust, and potentially disturbing their dinner...

 - Or -

Entering a small, classy restaurant in full Zombie Regalia, piling 5 people into a single stall washroom to wash off blood and makeup, thus occupying said washroom for a good 15-20 minutes and using all their paper towel and then walking out again, having decided that as a group you'd feel much less guilty about ruining people's dining experiences at a Kelsey's or a Boston Pizza?

Survey Says?

No matter, what is done is done.  At least we cleaned the blood out of the sink first.

Anyway, here's some more pics:
Lots of OWS themed signs. This guy told us he was headed down to Bay Street after the walk.
Group Shot, me the girls and my cousin
Reegs doing her zombie face

This year's family Christmas card portrait

Kiki, who made up for a lack of make-up with a very convincing and chilling zombie-stare

Tierney looking frighteningly gorgeous

Amber*, who took most of these pictures

So much fun and Hallowe'en isn't even over yet!!

*Sarah, this is the friend that I said looked like you in the post with the picture of you and your daughter on the pony.


  1. YES!! YES!! AND YES!!!!! I freaking LOVE Zombie crawls and I can't even get into how insanely awesome you are for bringing your little ladies along!! Honestly, this just made my night!

  2. Your kids are awesome for playing along! And zombie hobo clown?!? Great idea! Also, if you don't take Vapid Vixen's idea of making it a Christmas card, you're missing a great opportunity.

  3. That is the best Christmas card ever!

    "Wishing you more brains this Holiday Season!"

  4. For years, the Minneapolis Zombie Pub Crawl started in the park across the street from my house. :-) I wish I had video of the time one of our tenants came to us and said, "Too bad you were out of town this weekend. A zombie came to the house for you..."


  5. I don't mean this as a slight against the zombification of your daughter, but in that last picture, she could be the little girl vampire from INTERVIEW... if she wanted. Beautiful, but deadly.

  6. Awsome pics, still sad I didn't get to go with you. Although even if I had planned on it, The Boyfriend would have made it impossible as he tore apart his car. I love that Reegs was totally in-character :-) makes me love her more LOL


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