Wednesday, February 24, 2010

it's what you might call content, this feeling...

I was told long ago that I had what is called a 'reverse aura'. For most people, their aura expands when experiencing positive emotions, and contracts with the negative. To put it simply, when sad, we withdraw, emotionally, sometimes physically even, taking into consideration the hunched posture of someone who is 'down in the dumps'. Happiness causes one to stretch, to reach out and make our presence known to others.

Well, let it not go unsaid that I've always been a bit of an odd duck.

Anyway, it seems I have what is considered a reverse aura. If I'm angry, upset, whathaveyou.. people are gonna know. It's palpable. However, I tend to withdraw when I'm happy. Not necessarily excited, but content. This is probably the reason I haven't had much to say. Life is good, there's not much to complain about, and the stuff that I could complain about seems, well, kind of incidental.

I'm just kind of riding the wave, trying not to jinx anything. Trying not to get 'how I get' and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can the other shoe drop if both feet are on the ground? I'm just trying to enjoy the good I've been experiencing. Life is, both figuratively, and somewhat literally, full of music and color.

Being appreciated as a woman is nice. Feeling attractive, feeling as though I'm worth spending time with, all great. Enjoying all this, enjoying the company of someone who shares in my interests and makes me want to know more about his, talking for hours. The comfortable silences. Being able to run with it all and just ENJOY, without overanalyzing (too much) or worrying - well, for me, it ain't easy. I'm a worrier, and a bit of pessimist. But I'm trying. and it's good. (don't wanna jinx it though.)

knock wood, y'all.

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