Sunday, January 8, 2012

If you don't have anything nice to say, STFU and go order your coffee.

People amaze me with their ignorance sometimes.

As you may be able to tell from my display picture, my hair is currently a shade of pinkish red not usually found in nature. Originally part of a Halloween costume, I decided I liked this look and would keep it for a while.

Needless to say, reviews have been mixed, and I totally accept that.

The other day however, my friend Tess and I were sitting in the timmie's downstairs from work and a woman i know, who shall remain nameless, came in and lined up. I said hi, and the following conversation ensued:

Her: what did you do to your hair? (I've kind of gotten used to this line of questioning)
Me: I stuck my finger in a socket
Her: that wouldn't turn your hair... Well, what do you call that color?
Me: I call it "I used to be red but I have showered many times since then"
Her: ugh.. You need to dye it back.
Me: I dunno. I like it.
Her: (in what i'm guessing was an attempt at humor) yeah but what you want doesn't matter, other people still have to look at it
Me: yeah I'm not particularly concerned with other people.. Haha. Like I said, I like it.
Her: really, though, it doesn't look good.

At this point I shrug and go back to my conversation with Tess.

When I posted about the incident on Facebook I got a whole lot of support and compliments, which was awesome and sweet, but missed the point, which was "who the hell asked?"
Like I said, i'm totally cognizant that this particular aesthetic choice is not to be everybody's cup of tea. I've recieved my fair share of backhanded compliments ("well, you're still very pretty") from people who don't get that I did this on purpose. I would think, though, that unless it has been solicited, so-called constructive criticism should be kept to oneself.

I mean, how many times should someone have to say "well, I like it" before they take the hint and drop it. My own dumbfoundedness at the gall and my generally sweet nature prevented me from getting really nasty, which maybe I should have. Hell, even my grandma only got to make so many comments before I finally said "listen lady, if you don't let it go, then next time I see you, it's going to be Green.". And I LOVE my grandma.

If I ask someone's opinion, then I expect an honest response. Otherwise, don't rain on my fuckin' parade.

It's pretty basic Kindergarten 101 stuff: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.


  1. I like it - I find it quite sexy, in fact... sexier than your normal color :-p

    (And yes, what I say and think matters, because I'm me. So there.)

  2. Oh boy. I hope she was kidding when she said what you want doesn't matter. I would have said, "People can look away if they don't like it."

  3. I like the color, and you're right -- you gotta do what makes you happy.

  4. Boy, that lady is really obnoxious.

  5. I hear you. I've started receiving similar types of reactions since: 1) I cut my hair short a few years ago; 2) ESPECIALLY since I cut my hair in more "masculine" short cuts over the summer. Since then, there's been a lot of comments of the variety:

    "Oh, well, I guess it will grow out again... eventually. Right?"

    "Why would you do that to yourself?"

    "That cut: not a good idea."

    To which, yes, my standard answer has been something like, "I will give your opinion all the consideration it deserves." ;)

  6. My hair is naturally red and I've still had people tell me I look better blonde and that I should think about dying it. Having NEVER solicited their advice. If it weren't so ignorantly obnoxious, it would be funny.'s still kinda funny.

  7. Oh not a co-worker, just someone I know through extracurricular activities.

  8. I would have handled it the exact same way - and then later think of all these really great comebacks that I should have used. Perhaps you should arm yourself with a few good lines, just for those obnoxious people who can't take a hint.

  9. I like it. It's hair, it's not like you defiled something. And it's YOURS, so what's so hard to understand here?

    Years ago, I had a similar situation with my hair, my favorite comment being "God, and you used to be so pretty".



  10. (Or asked her if she's considered a nose job... cause ya know, I have to look at it.)

  11. K, that lady is a bitch and I love your hair. I love your whole style. I've always been really envious of woman who have unique style.

  12. Hey Hey - new follower here :)
    Just wanted to say I love the title of your blog! It reminds me of a saying I very much love..."Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair." - In fact, people like the woman in this post perhaps. As for hair comments, I am a natural brunette, but I just recently bleached my hair blonde and put in some stellar red highlights. I did this right before Christmas and apparently people thought it was funny to ask where the green highlights were?
    Funny Funny Har Har!
    Rock on, Pickle Goddess!

    Visit me sometime...

  13. Hi Brandy! Originally I wanted to include 'With a Tire Iron' as a shout out to the long-past Harding/Kerrigan affair, but Blogger wouldn't let me have that many letters. Greedy bastards. *shakes fist*


  14. Hello. I saw you on Shameless Self-Promotion Sunday. I plan to take advantage of it as well. :)

    I had a short interaction yesterday in which I received unsolicited opinion about my appearance. In my case it was not a conscious choice like your hair was. It was also cut short, so it may have played out very differently. You might be interested. It's at Apologies for the length.

    And fuck that guy who told you that you should be basing your choices on the desires of others rather than your own. Right in the ear.


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