Monday, August 29, 2011

Has your brain exploded yet today? Here, allow me to help.

This is one of the more brain-explodey, face-palmy, loss-of-faith in humanity things I have read today.

Judge Blasts Kids For Suing Mom Over Birthday Card

From the sound of it, two spoiled, privileged-as-hell upper class twits and their father, who apparently has too much money and time on his hands, have been killing time the last two years in a lawsuit against the kids' mom for what basically amounted to 'Bad Mothering'.

"Did she beat them?" one might ask.  "Was she cruel?  Emotionally abusive?  Neglectful?"

Well, I guess that depends on your definition of cruel.  Among the charges lodged against Kimberly Garrity were:
...failing to take her daughter to a car show, telling her then 7-year-old son to buckle his seat belt or she would contact police, “haggling” over the amount to spend on party dresses, and calling her daughter at midnight to ask that she return home from celebrating homecoming.

My personal favorite one is the charge from her son who suffered great emotional distress because she sent him a birthday card but 'neglected' to include a check or any cash.  Nor did she ever send the poor suffering dear any care packages while he was away at colleges.

Pardon me whilst I grab my smelling salts.
On the front of the American Greetings card is a picture of tomatoes spread across a table that are indistinguishable except for one in the middle with craft-store googly eyes attached.

“Son I got you this Birthday card because it's just like you . . . different from all the rest!" the card reads. On the inside Garrity wrote "Have a great day! Love & Hugs, Mom xoxoxo.”
Granted, that's a pretty cheesy card.  I groaned when I read it.  Googly eyed Tomatoes?  Puh-lease.   That being said though, I would hardly call this a trauma requiring $50K in compensation.  Fortunately, the judge in this case called it for what it appears to be.. bullshit.  This is one of those cases I would have loved to see go in front of Judge Judy - is she even still on the air?

I'm pretty sure Judge Judy would have tore a strip off these kids and their lawyer dad (Oh, that's right.. Mom has to pay her own legal fees to fight this, but the kiddies get Daddy all pro bono and such) and made them wear it as a scarf.
I like to pretend she's flipping the bird here.  Source
The amount of entitlement here is disgusting.  There are two things that piss me off.  Okay, that's a lie, anyone who knows me knows there are a number of things that piss me off.. but two things that piss me off in relation to this story are as follows:

  • I take great issue with parents who use their kids as props in their revenge scenarios during and after a divorce.  
It's something I've gone to great lengths to avoid myself because it generally doesn't do the kids any good at all, and I'd say this is a pretty good illustration.  The kids' (who are not so much kids as adults in their early 20s) father claims he tried to dissuade his kids from pursuing the case, but I call bullshit.  Why?  Because he continued to represent them, even though it was a bullshit case.

  • Second, I hate the hell out of people who try to frame not getting every damn thing their own little way as 'abuse' or 'neglect'.  
Seriously.  Now, to play devil's advocate, I realize there are two sides to every story and Garrity may possibly be the mother from hell.. but it would stand to reason that if she really were some horrible, neglectful, cruel parent and the kids were going to go so far as to bring a lawsuit against her, if they were going to go that far I would think they'd have something more compelling to bring to the table than 'OMG.. she bought me a CARD, the BITCH'.

It degrades and devalues the claims of people who really have gone through hell and back with abusive parents.  These kids need a little more exposure to what shitty parenting is really like.   Maybe a googly eyed tomato and a midnight call to the school dance wouldn't seem so bad. 


  1. Someone needs to slap these "kids" back into reality. *raises hand* Please pick me.

  2. Of all the things....I'm going to hold myself back from saying anything else lest I lash out in anger. Conniving spoiled rotten.......

  3. Did their mom have the horrible nerve to not be super-model-good-looking too? At least for the mom, she doesn't have to be bothered buying birthday gifts anymore. The dad, whose idea it obviously was, ought to be disbarred for immoral behavior. If that were a threat, less lawyers would be likely to act like greedy scumbags.
    My favorite part about this post is your label "All kinds of effed up". Appropriate.

  4. Sounds like a Lifetime movie with Alyssa Milano and John Stamos as the parents. This doesn't surprise me though.

  5. I can only hope the judge fines the man for such a silly lawsuit and also makes him pay the mother's fees. He sounds like an complete douche...which would explain where the children got it from. I find using children in a parents battle disgusting and completely detrimental to the children.

  6. It takes all kinds... and you are oh-so-right with your "all kinds of effed up" label.

    GAH. I would have enjoyed that card.

  7. That's awful! What the fuck is wrong with kids these days (now I sound old.)?! Working is noble and should be viewed as such. Almost ALL Work is noble, no matter what you do or attempt to do. Well, not all work, but you know what I'm saying?? This site rocks....Paralegals are meanwhile doing most of the work at law offices nationwide.


Engaging in discussion and/or general sucking up.. that's where it's at!

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