Saturday, March 23, 2013

@UltimateGuitar Doesn't Think Straight Girls Play.

Oh, I am just about fucking done with you.

It was bad enough that I downloaded your stupid, supposedly free iPad app, which was NOT FREE because after download the app it wants you to get a paid subscription to actually access any of the fucking tabs and now every time I use your site I get prompted to download the bloody app again... NO I DON'T WANT TO DOWNLOAD YOUR STUPID FREE-NOT-FREE APP!

*deeep breath*

Where was I?

Oh yeah. If that wasn't enough, I see you're pandering to the horny frat boy set.

Stereotypically slim, large breasted model with epic cleavage and glasses poses as a music teacher. Caption reads "Learn Songs with The Teacher of your Dreams"

That's not the teacher of MY dreams.

And here I thought I was going to get to learn with Slash, or Andy McKee, or Leona Boyd.  I'm guessing they mean the teacher of your wet dreams.. In which case, I'm still clearly not their target demographic, even though I use their site frequently and have been playing guitar for pretty near 20 years now.  But I guess girls don't play guitar, or if they do, maybe UG assumes we're all Tegan & Sara or the Indigo Girls. (I'd be okay with being either, but sadly, I'm not).

In case you're wondering, I clicked and guess where it goes? Yup.  To their "free app."

Which, by the way, still isn't free.


Makes me miss the OLGA.


  1. Ugh! I hate annoying free-not-free apps like that! And I have yet to find a decent tab/lyric app. Bah.

  2. you are talking about ultimate guitar. which consist of 3rd rate guitarist learning from inaccurate tab written by 2nd rate guitarists. they are just catering to there audiance, which is 13 year old boys.

    if you are playing for 20 years, why are you using tab?

    1. I said I've been playing for 20 years. Never said I was awesome at it.

    2. sorry i didnt meant to be mean about your playing. what i intend to say was it seem silly to expect highly from low-grade website like that.

  3. I'm a dedicated, enthusiastic BAD guitar player. I have a fender strat with a small kick amp (it's on the cover of my book, The Ballad of Helene Troy). While writing the book over the past year, I played a lot. my 9-year-old decided she wanted to play drums and started taking lesson in october. she played cream sunshine of my love last night and justin timberlake's what goes around the otehr night. now, my 8-year-old wants to play guitar and I've started teaching her chorcds and stuff. I'm afraid to show her elssons online because the teachers/videos/ads are all kind of sexist and stupid.

    good post. I would love to play guitar with you.

    1. I haven't seen many online lessons but I did just pick up a copy of the exact same "Hal Leonard Guitar Method" that I taught myself from for a buck and a half. Both my girls have mentioned wanting to learn.


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