Hilarious trending topic on Twitter today - #badprovincialmottos Let's all come up with the worst provincial mottos we can think of.
Ontario: It's where the capital is! No, not Toronto.. Ottawa.. No.. OTTAWA.. Otta.. Oh fr' chrissakes...
Quebec: Britain's Angry Step-Child*
Prince Edward Island: Our Dirt is RED. And yeah, Potatoes.
Manitoba: J-Lo came here once.
Favorites from other Tweeters
Alberta: We Gave you Nickelback. You're welcome.
Saskatchewan: As Flat as Your Nine-Year-Old Daughter
Labrador: Not technically a province, but we try!
Alberta: We're Not As Racist As We Used To Be
Newfoundland: where everybody knows your name but outsiders can't understand you when you tell them
Manitoba: It's not always this cold. Sometimes it's colder.
Nova Scotia: We've Got Crabs!
By now, some of you U.S. readers (and those further abroad) may be confused and or bored and about to click to go find some porn or pictures of cats. So you can laugh along with our blatant stereotypes, heres a province by province tutorial. I hereby present:
Canada according to Twitter.
British Columbia: Weed. More Weed. Will someday sink into the ocean.
Alberta: Oil, a fuckton of Conservatives and Nickelback.
Saskatchewan: Flat. Regina rhymes with Vagina.
Manitoba: Boring. Often forgotten by school children learning the provinces. Big-assed mosquitoes.
Ontario: Self-proclaimed centre of the universe. Is really big. People don't know what our capital is.
Quebec: French people. Still pissed about the Conquest.
New Brunswick: It's there, and it's not Newfoundland
Newfoundland: They talk funny. Weird time zone. No jobs.
Labrador: Technically not a province. Kind of like that family member that no one likes to talk about.
Prince Edward Island: Really small. And there's potatoes.
Nova Scotia: Named after a bank. Had a big explosion once. Shaped like a lobster/penis.
Northwest Territories: Not quite a province. Also Cold.
Nunavut: Still Cold. No one can pronounce its capital (Iqaluit)
For your convenience, I've compiled a map of our main exports, by province. Click to Enlarge.
Remember kids, knowledge is power!
*No, really. Think about it. In the context of Mother Britannia, the United States is the kid that ran away because they didn't like the rules. English Canada is the kid that stayed at home until they finally got told to "..get the hell out, get a real job because you're not staying around here, playing your video games all day and get a haircut, ya hippie!" Quebec is the angry stepchild who didn't ask to be there anyway and "...besides you're not my real mom!!"