Often milestone birthdays have a tendency to cause people to reflect, to look back on their accomplishments, mistakes, goals, regrets and fond memories. In my own experience, I sometimes find myself at odds with birthdays, mainly because I never seem to quite fit into my own chronology. As a child, I possessed above-average intelligence which meant I understood things around me on a more adult level, yet socially I was always a few years behind. I've never quite felt 'my age'. More or less I tend to like a child who has somehow stumbled upon responsibilities, bills, and children of her own.
"This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife"
As a music enthusiast, I found turning 27 was a particularly surreal experience, as that was when I came to the unsettling realization that I had outlived many of my adolescent role models. In rock and roll, 27 is the new 13. Unlucky.
Although I'm experiencing all the normal apprehension about my big 'three-oh', I'm also finding myself rather excited. As I approach my fourth decade of life, I'm finally finding myself in a place where I have come into my own. My twenties were a time of huge emotional upheaval, turmoil, and most importantly a ridiculous amount of personal growth, and am just now becoming comfortable with myself and where I am.
Let's recount:
- I'm in the best shape, physically, that I have been since I was a teenager, and maybe even better than that. With that has come a great boost in my self-confidence. I can walk down the street and think to myself "Dammit, I feel sexy, I feel good, I'm pretty fucking awesome."
- I have a great group of friends, more close trusted friends than I could possibly have the balls to ask for.
- I have two beautiful, healthy little girls who are also very sweet and incredibly smart.
- I have a job that while not always the most fulfilling, it pays the bills and I don't dread going to - even if the work sucks sometimes, I like everyone I work with, and it's a decent environment.
- I get along great with my children's father and stepmother, with little to no drama involved.
- I'm discovering talents I never knew I had and honing those I did, all the while meeting others with similar interests.
- I've grown comfortable enough with being on my own that I can be decisive and (mostly) discriminating in my romantic life. Simply put, I know I will never settle or put up with more than a minimal amount of bullshit just to avoid being alone.
- did I mention I'm just pretty fucking awesome?
Simply put.. I'm gonna sit back, and relax, because frankly, I think my thirties are going to kick ass.
You go, girl :-)
ReplyDeleteMy 30 wasn't so... optimistic. I was going through what I thought was going to be the worst time in my life (mentally, professionally), and since every birthday since I hit 25 or so has been something that affected my mindset, 30 hit me like a freight train.
I'm glad it's treating you much better, you pretty fucking awesome Eh-lass.