I can totally envision this, by the way.
|An artist's rendering of my youngest daughter in about 10 years. Source|
"I don't want to get married because I don't ever want to have a divorce."
Cue massive parental guilt.
What do you say? Between the ex, the new wife and myself, we've tried to do what we can to make sure the kids aren't negatively affected by our situation. It's taken a lot of compromise and a lot of putting our (okay, MY) own hurt feelings aside in order to give the kids as stable an upbringing as that.
Still, it broke my heart to hear her say that and I couldn't help but wonder how much of it was some deep-rooted fear of emotional pain that was subconciously implanted (even within the womb) into her psyche, or if maybe I'm taking too much guilt on myself and that this is a more global fear that she's picked up from television, books and movies.
So what could I do. I did some fast-on-my-feet parental thinking and told her that not everyone gets divorced and even if it happens, although it genuinely does suck, it's not the end of the world and people move on and get through it. Had I been quicker I could have pointed out her Grammy and Grandpa who have been happily married for nearly 35 years now.
Still my heart broke a little. I hope neither of my babies ever have to go through it. I guess they are lucky enough that they were both too little to remember the really rough post-split aftermath, as Tierney was just a toddler and Reagan was a newborn baby.
*sigh* I guess we all just do what we can, right? Right.