In the major leg artery there are valves that are pushed open each time your heart pumps blood through your system, then close when at rest. These valves serve to distribute the blood in your leg evenly because otherwise, all the blood pools in your ankles
The anticoagulants I was given to dissolve the clot in my leg, also served to dissolve these valves. As a result, my left calf is perma-swollen and about 1.5cm bigger in diameter than the right. It's not a huge side effect other than being vaguely unsightly, especially if I am on my feet all day.
Boots, however, are a problem.
I can't find boots that fit me, especially dressy kinds. High boots. It's kind of disheartening, especially with winter here. I want to get dressed up, don't want to freeze my little toes off in pumps or sandals.. feel like a jackhole dancing in running shoes (weird I know).. and some days, especially now being lighter than I was, I want to wear some nice, tall, shit-kicking hooker boots. But if I find one that fits one leg, chances are they won't fit the other leg.
One day, when I am independently wealthy, having married and divorced a number of rich benefactors, or having won the lottery that I never play, or having patented some brilliant invention, I will have a collection of high-boots, custom made for my wonky-assed legs.
One in every color, baby.
I'm gonna have boots so high, I can go friggin' TROUT FISHING in them.
Hip waders? I don't need no hip waders. Got my hooker boots, thanks.
"What's that baby? You want me to keep the boots on? I'm glad you said that, since it'd probably take me three hours to get them off."
Mine will be the greatest high boots ever known to man. They shall rule over all other boots, who will quiver in the face of their mighty tallness.