A step towards self-acceptance.

I bought myself something yesterday. Something I haven't contemplated in nearly 13 years.

A bikini.

Not a two-piece tankini, but a real, honest-to-god 'holy-shit-is-that-my-belly-why-yes-it-is' bikini. To date, I have not reached my goal yet, but when went I went shopping, I looked as I tried on a number of suits, one piece numbers that are generally as a rule either

too short

too small in the bottom

too big up top

So I took a shot and tried a few on and thought 'Hey, I don't look half bad.' Yup, there's love handles. Yup, there's a bit of a pouch. Yup, there's a royal whackton of stretch marks. But still, it wasn't bad. So I bought it. And I wore it, around people even. And I will wear it again.

You know what is a nice feeling? Going into a changeroom, trying on a bathing suit and going 'Ugh' but knowing that ugh is not because of your perceived flaws but just that 'damn. That's one UGLY bathing suit.'

Mine's cute though.


Okay, Chris. It's not useless now. :-P