Sunday, June 1, 2008

I got all mah sistah’s with me

Today was an enjoyable day, out with the girls, just lunching and coffeeing and general shooting of the shit.

It was the type of day I have not had in a while, I've been spending most of the winter as a hermit, not doing enough to even warrant blogging about.

I found it refreshing, to hang out with not only a close friend, but also with her two other friends. I forget sometimes how meeting new people can help to offer new perspectives. It's nice that I can think of these women as my friends now as well.

I started thinking the other day that I make too many excuses for not doing things I really want to do, mostly being lack of time and/or money.

But it's crap really... I make excuses because A) I tend towards laziness sometime, B) Change is intimidating.

I have spurts of bravery, where I decide to go out and do things, or I take risks I would normally not take... with my time, and with my heart as well. I have come to realize, that especially in matters of the heart, I'm more apt to take risks when I know the repercussions are limited.

Which I guess means I don't really take risks at all. Today I left my phone number for the exceeding cute waiter that served us at lunch. Superficial courage, really, because I don't stand to lose much if that call never comes.

I'm thinking I may need to compile one of those 'Before I hit I want to' Lists. I turn 30 in two years. What can be accomplished in two years?

By the end of June, I propose that I will list 10 goals, and begin on working my way toward them.

Some may prove to be less tangible than others (for example, I feel I should make it a goal to be less cautious around people, and learn to trust more), and others may be downright petty, but they are my goals, whatever they may be. I have ideas floating around, but I'd like to have a comprehensive list before I reveal them.

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So, my sister's wedding is coming up in 3-4 weeks, and I guess I must be having sympathy nervousness, because I had this bizarre dream the other night:

I'm at the wedding, and Nicky is ever the radiant bride, but as I'm looking around, something is not right. I realize that we are in a large open gymnasium, seated at plain rectangular tables.


I say to my mom 'Hey mom, didn't anybody decorate? I thought Nicky was getting a decorator." To which my mom replies 'Don't ask, and whatever you do, DON'T say anything to your sister."


So I'm wandering around, and I start hitting on my friends' brother's friend (who would be about 17... I think this is related to another situation in my life right now, only exaggerated) and I realize, we've not done the photographs yet.


"Hey Mom, did anyone get a photographer?"
"Don't ask. Don't say anything to your sister, just pretend its all okay"


Then I took my camera and took a picture of Camilla Parker-Bowles, which resulted in my camera shattering, and I laughed because she had literally broken my camera, when I took her picture.

Then I woke up.

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Oh, by the way, I'm sexually frustrated beyond belief, in case anyone cares. I've found that after a while with dry spells (this particular one being a DOOZY), it becomes an 'Out of site, out of mind' situation... I'm okay if I don't think about it.

It's when the prospect of dirty lovin' rears its head, that HOLY HELL... And rear it's head, it has. Unfortunately, my need to wake up each morning and like myself has thus far prevented me from taking advantage of this special offer.

Personal code of ethics > Libido. *sigh*

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