Saturday, November 11, 2006

Wine labels and shadows from the past

Discovered something yesterday... never read wine labels, they make you do crazy things. I picked up a nice Cabernet Sauvignon from Australia (I'm becoming a wino!) yesterday and read the label, which read 'serve with a nice red peppercorn steak.

My stomach screamed "OHHHHH STEAK!" I don't even eat steak, but I was compelled to go out and purchase one to eat last night. Oh man. Was it ever worth it. Went really well with the wine. They were sooooo right.

Had a visitor from my past life last night (Past life = pre-separation) come by out of the blue, a friend of my ex nephew in law who used to hang out at the boy and my place a lot before we started having babies and stuff. It was an interesting, if slightly uncomfortable visit. It's weird, sometimes I look back at that time in my life (especially before the babies) and it's like I am a thousand light years away, or like i moved away for ten years then came back.

Had a talk with the boy today after I dropped the girls off this morning, and I've come to the conclusion that I may have finally forgiven him. I really just wish the best for him and the GF. I'm not angry at him for leaving anymore, because things are better for all involved now than they could have been had we stayed together. There were some rocky times, that's for sure. But having come to a place in my life where I am settled in my own groove, and he is settled in his, I'm really quite happy with my life, and in some weird way, I have him to thank for it.

If he hadn't of left, I may have never had that push to go and get my schooling, and learn the things i have learned or met all the wonderful people I have met, both online and off.

Sure, I get lonely from time to time. But I have to wonder if occasional loneliness is a small price to pay when I have so much else going for me now. The lonliness will pass, too. Like I said, I have many fantastic friends, who are always there when the late-night quiet gets to be so much. I have my beautiful little girls, who are healthy and happy. I have goals and a roof over my head and my health (most of the time!)

Someone is out there, I'm not so jaded that I've lost all hope. And when that person comes along, that's just gonna be gravy on the feast of my life.

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