Monday, October 3, 2011

When I say 'back on the horse' I am in no way referring to smack.

What is this horse I speak of?  It's metaphorical, don't think on it too much.

So I broke down. Kind of. As some of you already know, about four and a half years ago I made the decision to join Weight Watchers and managed to lose myself somewhere in the area of 60-65 lbs. Without getting all long and drawn out about it, I left the program this past winter after they rolled out a new program that rendered pretty much all their previous program materials obsolete. It seemed like a money grab to me (especially since part of your start up was paying 15 bucks for an electronic calculator), especially in light of the fact that they were still selling the old calculators up to a mere couple of weeks before the new program got rolled out.

So that was that. I tried to follow on my own, but granted, I didn't try very hard and I've fallen back into a lot of my old habits. Snacking at night, snacking out of boredom, afternoon Tim Hortons' visits etc. And here I am, 10 months later and I have gained back 20 of the 60ish I had lost.

It's go time, people.

My pants have been rebelling for a few months now. I'm down to one pair of work pants and 2-3 pairs of jeans that fit comfortably. I've been wearing a lot of skirts and dresses to hide the fact that well.. my pants don't fit.

This is what it's about. Pants. Pants and feeling comfortable in my own skin. And pants.

I'll stop saying pants now.

So today I signed myself up at myfitnesspal.com because I can't bring myself to go back to Weight Watchers. I'm still hurt and angry. Irrational? Oh, probably. But is it?

I've always been able to see through the diet industry for the sham it is, which is in part what lead me to my gain later in life. I didn't yo-yo so much as I climbed steadily. But it is. A sham. There are no easy answers. The diet industry builds up these miracle cures in our diseased conciousness and sets us up for failure. The more we "fail" the more desperate we become in our efforts and the industry keeps racking in the cash.

I cannot say it clearly enough: THERE ARE NO EASY ANSWERS.

Hell, for some of us, thin may not even be an option, because not all of our bodies are built that way. We can only, realistically, aim for good health. That means so much more than our food intake, and our activity levels... it means managing our stress levels, removing or at least minimizing our exposure to those toxic people in our lives.

Ugh. I'm rambling. I'm sure I'll have more to say on the subject as time goes on. I know it won't be easy, but I've done it before. I can do it again.

8 comments:

  1. Ugh, that sucks, on all fronts. Once again, your Labels make me laugh. And I laugh because it's a great ab workout.

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  2. It isn't easy. I fight the same battles, and it is easy to get frustrated. But, don't let the stress get to you too much. Despair leads to snacking.

    To hell with weight watchers. Stick with one of the many free online options. Keep track of your calories and try to keep yourself within a reasonable range. And allow yourself to cheat every now and then. We all need to treat ourselves sometimes.

    Good luck, and drink your Tim Horton's black.

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  3. I'm almost in the exact same boat as you. It's all about the pants. The answer for me for a while was yoga pants, but come on. That's not a real solution, but it sure is comfortable! I call Tylenol PM "horse." As in "Boy, I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonite, I think I'll do a little horse." I love my horse.

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  4. Sadly, I just caved and bought two new pairs of pants. However, my gain this year was from inactivity from a car wreck and not lack of will. Finally able to get some exercise going again, but where I used to be able to ride the stationary bike for an hour, I can make it about 12-15 minutes depending on the day before the back starts hurting. Yea for cardio.

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  5. I found you through the bloggess comments, and am intrigued. I also HATE the new WW, and am rebelling against buying all of the new material. It DOES seem to be a money grab. I'm angry that it will cost me a couple hundred to sign back up and purchase all the junk again. I've been trying to do WW on my own, but I keep failing at it. And I have about 20lb of baby weight I still need to lose. ::sigh::

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  6. You can absolutely do it again and we'll all be cheering you on. And for hell's sake. Damn that Tim Horton's and their sugary donuts of death! Damn them straight to hell!!!

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  7. I know! I was saying to a friend yesterday, I bring snacks from home and I'm all like "I'm gonna have an apple. I'm gonna have an apple. I'm gonna have an apple. I'm gonna have an apple... FRITTER!! WOOOO!!"

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  8. You can do it! I'm working on loosing 50lbs myself. So far I'm down one dress size.

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