Sunday, December 4, 2011

I hope this isn't what they meant by 'Seven Year Itch'.

I'm irritated as all hell right now.

Quite literally.

Over the last week I've developed some kind of allergic reaction that at first had all the look and appearance of run of the mill poison ivy.  And if ANYONE is going to get poison ivy at the tail end of November you can bet it's me.

You know that wive's tail about how if you get poison ivy seven years in a row you become immune?

Possibly the most enormous pile of steaming hot bullshit ever served.  I'm going on 20 straight seasons now and dammit, if there was every a qualification for some kind of poison ivy immunity idol, then I should have won that challenge ages ago.

This has been a rather sadistic case and for the last week I've been living on cortizone cream and antihistamines.   I had already been using a cream my friend gave me.  The cortizone cream was a slightly stronger one recommended by the ER doctor when I decided to go because I couldn't face a day of work when even wearing pants was difficult.

There was light at the end of the tunnel as poison-ivy itch turned to 'Holy-fuck-my-skin-is-dry-as-hell-from-this-cream' itch.  But as I weaned off the antihistamines the rash is coming back as more of a heat-or-excema type thing.  I think the culprit may be cheap laundry detergent.  My brother-in-law Frank suspects airborne chemicals.

(That link isn't actually about airborne chemicals, I'm just doing some pimping like good-sisters-in-law do)

All I know is I would cut a bitch to immerse myself in a giant vat of aloe vera right now.  I'd wear a gown of aloe vera leaves.

5 comments:

  1. Yeah... seven years is bullshit. I've gotten poison ivy since I was roughly nine... you do the math. I have slow if you need. Lots and lots of it. I do side with Frank here. I don't think its poison ivy.
    P. S. You can pump me anytime :-p

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  2. I hope you get some relief. And soon!

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  3. You might want to pass on the gown of aloe vera leaves, i've cut myself on those before its a rather spiney little plant.

    It could be stress related in which case I would suggest a few weeks in a place like Isla Margarita, or Aruba with a cute doctor.

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  4. poison ivy is like chicken pox. it never leaves your system. hubby gets a flare up without fresh contact when he's under stress.

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  5. Thanks Josh,

    @CD. Have I told you lately that I like the way you think?

    @Pearl. That's just ducky. grr.

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