Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Dating sites make me cry - or - the ironing is delicious.

Online dating sites can be a veritable cesspool of hypocrisy. I'm laughing at some of the stuff I'm finding. (all emphasis added is mine)

From ryanord, age 25:
We won't mesh if:
Your dumb
picky eater
From forever_mann, age 39:
And one last thingy. I'm gonna call the Cops on the next woman who tries to trick me with fake, old or really far away pics, that crap should be a criminal offence!
 ...says the guy with a single pic, head down, baseball cap covering face.

This made me weep for the state of the education system, and our future health care system.  From Treys_song, age 26 Profession - Medical Student:
U can call me a geek or watever..but hey do u not want ur doctor to not know his shit? exactly haha
Oh hell no.  I want my doctor to be able to fucking SPELL.

I kind of wish I didn't think it would be incredibly mean to post some pics, because some of them are hilarious.  Like the tattoo kid, who asks why girls don't like guys with a lot of tattoos?  It really needs the picture with it to get the full humour.

I'm going to add for some unknown reason it really irks me when people list tattoos and piercings as an interest.   It's not that I'm against body modification, I've got one facial piercing and one tattoo with another planned.  I just don't get how it's an interest.  To me it's like saying hair dye is an interest.  Or pants are an interest.  Like, when does it go from simple adornment to an actual interest?  When you start doing it yourself?  When you start researching artists and piercers throughout history?  I don't know.  Maybe someone can enlighten me.

At any rate, I don't quite have the balls to go so far as to post pics.  I feel like I'd be crossing a line.  Maybe if my GIMP program didn't take so long to boot up and do, well, anything I could block out people's eyes and stuff.  But I'll just stick to foot-in-mouth disease.

It's a little one-sided I know.  I used to have a guy-friend who would critique profiles for me, and I for him and man, we'd find some doozies.  We're still friends, we just don't critique for each other much anymore.

Does anyone else have some really bad dating site examples?  Add them to the comments and if I really like them, I'll add them to the post.


  1. I think it's an interest when you start reading body modification magazines and having entire friendships based around piercing geekery.

    Which is to say: there is a fandom for fucking everything.

    I don't do dating sites (my love life is complicated enough!) except once when I was younger and attempting to figure out whether I was pretty. (Got messaged by a Broadway actor. Determined the experiment a success.) So I hope someone else can comment!

  2. Thanks Oz, that's a pretty fair assessment. I just don't know what it is that makes me cringe when I see it listed as an interest. It could be tied to the ex-hub as that's what he mostly does for a living. Maybe it's a bad sub-concious association. *shrug*

  3. Back in late '04, after being informed by the (then) love of my life that there was officially no hope that we'd get back together, I actually joined AdultFriendfinder... and even posted a pic of my junk. I got a lot of responses but I wasn't fool enough to actually PAY for the thing, so I deleted my profile, responses unread :-/

    A good friend of mine (ours) found success via one of those (non-AFF) sites and, since I had a thing for her and was just about to make my move when she had that success, I've come to absolutely hate them and their damned commercials.

    Frickin' frackin'...

    *ninjas off, with angry black man muttering*

  4. These are priceless...!

    I'm lucky to have finally found someone special, a fact I still find baffling since I resemble a badger's arse... But I must admit there were times, dark, twisted times, before I met her that I contemplated signing up for that there dating site malarky.

    I want to say common sense prevailed in the end and stopped me, but I suspect I just didn't have enough fake, old or really far away pics to fill my profile with...

  5. First of all:
    "Like, when does it go from simple adornment to an actual interest? When you start doing it yourself? When you start researching artists and piercers throughout history? I don't know. Maybe someone can enlighten me." made me lol. I love it, what you say is so true.

    My interests include: chocolate, sunshine. I guess that's it. HA!

    I've met semi-long term guys on Hot or Not when I was younger. Found the real thing on Lavalife 6 years ago.

    Met many a frog before my prince. Always went with my gut instinct and made sure that we chatted on MSN first and that they had a sense of humour.

    Without that... no chance.


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