I saw a twitter post today advertising a high-profile position with the CBC - Canadian Broadcasting Corporation for all my yankee friends - as Executive Producer assigned to Radio3
I decided to go for it.
Here's my cover letter:
To Whom it may concern,
Please accept this application and attached resume as an indication of my interest in the available position of Executive Producer assigned to CBC Radio 3.
As you can see from my resume and application, I have little to no relevant radio experience, nor do I really have much management experience to speak of. My French is marginal, but I can guarantee I have nearly 30 years of immersion in the English language.
You may ask what I could possibly bring to this position? I can assure you I would bring an almost fanatical love of music, and a fierce loyalty to the many talented artists that inhabit this country of ours. I also offer a severe distaste for the bulk of the sample-driven, re-hashed, all-flash-and-no-substance vitriol that the listening public is continually spoon-fed on a regular basis by commercially driven private stations.
I also offer up my desire on the whole to exert my influence over the listening habits of others, as I generally consider my tastes to be far superior to that of the general public. Lastly, I bring with me an agenda that involves giving close, musically-inclined friends and well-wishers of mine an 'in', if you will, with the Canadian Music Industry.
I look forward to an opportunity to meet with you and further discuss my dreams of gaining enough money and power through employment with your organization that I can someday retire an independently wealthy, delightful eccentric who drinks mimosa's for breakfast and may or may not own a number of cats.
My sincerest thanks for your time and consideration,
Do you think they'll hire me?