Sunday, February 20, 2011

home made is nice but sometimes I like to leave food prep to the professionals

I'm at the grocery store, and I'm looking for guacamole.  This is a FoodBasics, so it's not like a high-end grocery store.  I check the aisle with all the dips and such and find nothing.  So I head to produce because sometimes they have dressings and stuff.

Me:  Do you know where I might find guacamole?
Stockboy #1: Hmm.. i'm just produce, so I'm not really sure, but I can ask someone.  We do have avocadoes if you want to make your own.

I've made my own guacamole before, and it turns out I'm not very good at it.

Me: I've made my own, I'm pretty bad at it.  Rather just buy it pre-mixed.

I follow the guy about 6 aisles over to another guy.  They discuss.

Stockboy #2:  Are you the lady that needs help?
Me: Yup, sure am.
Stockboy #2:  Here, follow me.

I follow him back to the first aisle that I check.  He scans the shelves.  Looks perplexed. 

Stockboy #2:  *sighs dramatically* They've moved it.  Hold on a second.

Leaves, coverses with a woman in the bread section.  Returns.

Stockboy #2:  So it turns out we don't carry guacamole anymore.  We used to but now we don't.  We have avocados though, if you want to make your own.
Me: I've made my own, I'm pretty bad at it.  Okay, thanks anyway.

Take the girls to the check out.  Explain that we'll be going to another store after this.

Me: We'll go to Foodland after this, they'll have some.
Cashier:  Was there something you weren't able to find.
Me:  Yeah, guacamole.  You guys don't carry it apparently.
Cashier:  Oh.


Cashier:  We have avocados.

Me:  ....


  1. Lmfao you should of just had a tape recorder. But did you find any somewhere else? Dont leave us in suspense or did they say you can make your own?

  2. Nope, RCSS to the rescue! I got some at the superstore. Didn't have to make my own.

  3. The Krogers by my house has jars of cheese dip because I am the same way with cheese dip that you are with guacamole.

  4. Wow, they were a special kinda helpful, huh? Gotta love those kinda people.

  5. In fairness, they were helpful and friendly.. just found it funny that they kept coming back to me making my own.

    Welcome! thanks for reading :-)

  6. lol, I feel your grocery store pain. I get that at No Frills all the time.

    A friend did give me a good guac recipe. My first attempt was shyte, but hers rocked.

    3 avacados, 1 tomato chopped, a shit-ton of cumin, 1-2 garlic gloves chopped up teensy, a dollop of sour cream, some salsa, and half a sweet onion, black pepper.

    I think that's it. And I ate IT ALL MYSELF.

    Sorry, I just pulled a grocery store helper line, but to the nth degree.


  7. We went through this EXACT same scenario at Food Basics before. We started making our own using a mix you can get at RCSS. It almost looks like salsa in a jar, but it's a special mix. We add it to avocado and a bar of cream cheese and it is AMAZING!

  8. That was a good read. Like Kafka, only you can get the jokes.

    At risk of embarrassing myself with TMI (again), here is Rick's Killer Klassic Guacamole.

    4 avacados, ever so slightly over-ripe (Keep them in a brown paper sack. Never refigerate. They will ripen quickly that way.)

    1 smallish lemon or one big lime (Better to not use all the juice at first. You can ruin it if it's too sour.)

    1/2 red onion (Red is better in raw dishes, but white and yellow will work.)

    1 large tomatoe, slightly underripe (You want firm.)

    1-2 cloves garlic

    Chop the onion and garlic super-duper fine; mix in most of your lemon juice, add the peeled and pitted avocados (see my imaginary video for a nifty way to do that wicked fast); mash with a fork until still chunky. Add chopped tomato, not TOO finely chopped. Carefully stir. You don't want paste. A little chunky is better. Add a pinch of salt. You'll be surprised how just a little transforms the flavor. Taste. Need's more lemon? Add it, if not, then don't. Finally add hot stuff. I like a sprinkle of Chalua hot sauce, or freshly ground pepper, but very, VERY finely minced jalpeño is traditional. (YMMV on the hot stuff. Be careful if feeding kids, of course)


  9. I have some avocados at my house if you need them ;)

  10. You bring the chips...I'll bring the guacamole & everyone's happy.

    Great post...gotta love overtly helpful cashiers...

  11. We could all get together, and have a guacamole tasting party. Best Guac wins!

    Welcome, thanks for reading :-)


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