A couple of things I really wanted to say to people at the bar tonight, but didn't, but should have.
To the two girls whose 'dresses' and I use the term loosely, were barely covering them, cause me to be traumatized at least once: "I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears you may have forgotten your pants."
To the crazy-air-guitar-alternating-with-both-arms-raised drunk dude: "Hey, I can guess that you're drunk and probably trying to get laid. It's not working. You're cute but you need to work on your game. Seriously, in the name of avoiding future embarassment, learn about personal space."