Thursday, July 29, 2010

Um yeah.. so, McDonalds??

What is going on with your Playland? You've gotten a lot of slack over the years for your contribution to childhood obesity and I applaud your attempt to do damage-control with your 'healthier' options such as your preservative-soaked apple-slices that never seem to go brown and your increasingly tiny hamburgers that you include in your happy meals (portion control, people!)

However, upon entering the McDonalds in Parry Sound this past weekend with my friend and our four small children, I was disturbed to find in the place where there would normally (I would hope) be one of those delightfully large climbers that are so great for allowing small children to burn off steam, energy and calories while allowing parents 20 minutes to oh, say, four hours of peace to eat some fries and read the paper... where was I? Yeah.. the Playland... I was shocked and dismayed to find that this Playland contained nothing more than a few video game consoles and an out-of-order air hockey table.

Imagine the children's confusion!

"What the hell, mom? How do we climb on this?"

I had to love the added irony of how the walls were adorned with various pictures of children being active and having fun, while in reality the only available options were to stand and stare mindlessly at a videogame. I guess standing can be considered activity.

The children revolt! (note happy children being active in background)

I've noticed the slow encroachment of these video consoles into newer establishments, and I sincerely hope that this isn't a harbinger of things to come. If so, I'd have to accuse you of either

A) pandering to the kiddies because "them video games are all the rage and if we put THEM in the restaurants they'll be sure to bug their parents into coming here 8 days a week!"

B) pandering to litigious, hand-wringing, 'Pleasethinkofthechildren!' types who, having read one too many email forwards about ball-pits full of urine and feces and toddlers getting stuck with broken syringes (because you know, if I were to shoot smack, my logical destination would be the ballpit at my local mickey D's), will insist that these climbers pose a very real, very evil threat to their precious little bundles of joy who at 4 and 5 years old are still riding in strollers because God forbid one of them falls and skins their knees while doing something as dangerous as walking or *gasp* running! (p.s. and you wonder why your kids are fat??)

****whoo. deep breath, Andie. ********

So please, if this is the direction you are going, McDonalds, I ask that you think twice about this, lest you truly become the evil corporate empire that many claim you to be - assuming that option A) is behind your reasoning.

If it's option B), this is better remedied by cleaning out your ball pit, and don't hire junkies. mmmkay? Thanks.

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