Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Today I don't feel pretty.

It's 5:30 and I can't sleep. The tears keep coming and I'm not even trying to stop them. Maybe they'll run out before I have to get to work.

Not that I want to go. Right about now I want to curl up in a blanket and cry until I am all swollen and ugly-- if that hasn't happened already. I don't want anything to eat that isn't chocolate or anything to drink that has less than an 8% alchohol level.

I feel like I'm in sex and the city, but I'm only getting to live out the shitty parts. I get the break-ups and the occasional lousy one-night stands, and the mind-fucks. I dont' get a Big, or an Aidan, or fuck, even a Steve. I could go with a Steve right now. Or the bald Jewish guy. Harry? Whatever. Back hair and all.

Yesterday was such a lovely morning. What the FUCK happened? No, I don't get an answer to that one. I get to formulate my own answer which, right now, is I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I'm hurt, I'm angry and that's all I really care about.

Christ, my head hurts.

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