Sunday, July 30, 2006

Kittens, and jello. But not in the same bowl.

A slight miscommunication between the boy, his GF and I led resulted in my being unable to locate my children (or their father) this evening when it came time to pick them up. So, naturally the darkest recesses of my mommy brain kicked into overdrive, conjuring up images of MISSING posters featuring my ex and my girls, or bloody car wreckage on the highway after having gone to visit relatives, or my precious girls lying victims (along with the boy and his new fam) of carbon monoxide poisoning in their apartment.

Yeah, turns out they had to work this weekend, but didn't inform me, so after going through many channels I found the number of the new place where the boy is working and then found out where the girls were staying and went to pick them up, safe and sound. Phew.

One bright spot that came out of this particular ordeal is that early in my searching I decided to check the park (at this point I was merely a little peeved, not yet thoroughly freaked out) because Sundays they now have music in the park, and I figured the boy, being the musical sort, might find that a fun excursion to take the girls on.

ANYWAY...

While I was in the park I ran into a former customer from the convenience store, whom I've had a minor crush on for a while but who I only run into maybe once a year now, who was in the park with his daughter so I got to chat for a minute and in that time we got caught up a bit. I really wanted to ask him out for a coffee sometime, but seeing as I had already mentioned my concern at being unable to locate my kids, I thought that would be inappropriate.

"I can't locate my kids, I'm a little concerned. You wanna go out sometime?"

Yeah. That doesn't fly with me.

I'm feeling all romantic lately, I don't know what it is. Idealistic or something. Yearning to connect with someone on a deeply intimate - both emotionally and physically -- level. It's very pre-occupying. I had the opportunity for some dirty fun time with a former FWB, but I had to be honest and tell him I just wasn't into that anymore. Looking for more than just sex. Not that that isn't fun. It's the waking the next day and still not feeling any better in the larger frame of things that is Not so fun.

I think the events that took place over Pride weekend are still messing with me a bit. That was definitely a case where I fell very hard, very fast, and I am still feeling the reverberations. Top it off, there is a party in two weeks that he is more than likely going to be attending, and I'm not sure how to face him. It's been somewhat easy, with him being in the city and not having to come face to face with him.


*sigh*

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