tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post6029444254141784177..comments2023-04-06T10:53:11.963-04:00Comments on Inspiration strikes. In the Kneecaps.: Thoughts on "Passing Gifts"Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-91291386289201771202011-07-04T13:53:10.063-04:002011-07-04T13:53:10.063-04:00Just want to say how much positive praise can be h...Just want to say how much positive praise can be helpful.<br /><br />Or the "it will all work out" "things will get better" and those messages.<br /><br />Support and love without labels like "good" and "bad".<br /><br />Trying to remove judgment, but support positive behaviours.<br /><br />I'm learning the hard way what an impact the word "BAD&StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-20029021886258357172011-07-04T13:02:04.837-04:002011-07-04T13:02:04.837-04:00When I was a kid, I was always jealous of my frien...When I was a kid, I was always jealous of my friends who bragged about getting money and/or other material goods for their straight As. Me? I'm an immigrant daughter of immigrant parents, for whom As were always expected. You got all As? Good. Now do your dishes. etc. There wasn't even a pat on the head. Money? The one time I inquired about this, my mom laughed and asked if she got paid Cynhttp://indignantfeministrants.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-67189057462204090242011-07-04T12:18:59.983-04:002011-07-04T12:18:59.983-04:00When we were kids, my mother implemented her dad&#...When we were kids, my mother implemented her dad's strategy: no gifts for passing, because passing is a reward in itself; you get a gift if you fail, because that's when you need cheering up.<br /><br />Of course, if we hadn't all been overachievers, she might have done things differently...Rainicornhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08024571610227384326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-70403491540800567212011-07-04T12:01:50.272-04:002011-07-04T12:01:50.272-04:00Mabbo - Thank you for the link. I read through it...Mabbo - Thank you for the link. I read through it and I do think I'll look up more of his work. I like the ideas he presented here.Andrea L. Colehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05613093003394429518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-29328957310827686092011-07-04T11:36:39.862-04:002011-07-04T11:36:39.862-04:00Here from Feministe. You may find the works of Alf...Here from Feministe. You may find the works of <a href="http://hepg.org/hel/article/463" rel="nofollow">Alfie Kohn</a> to be of interest on this topic.Mabbohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11161663130703404178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-74040071558428179552011-07-01T12:20:49.705-04:002011-07-01T12:20:49.705-04:00I heard this same kind of discussion not too long ...I heard this same kind of discussion not too long ago. I'm not saying which side of the fence I'm more apt to be one, but the argument was that if you give your child an allowance, they should receive it whether they do household chores or not because they are part of the family, and paying them after they've done something is only reinforcing capitalism. My only response: Well, whereAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-23903080785767077092011-07-01T10:16:14.187-04:002011-07-01T10:16:14.187-04:00I can't bring myself to pay for good report ca...I can't bring myself to pay for good report cards with money like my kids want, much less giving them expensive gifts for moving on. They are supposed to move on. The reward for moving on is not being humiliated by being held back. We have a special dinner where they can pick the restaurant, but other than that, nothing.Sarah https://www.blogger.com/profile/14091395645226862871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-40386876506392532822011-07-01T06:55:59.163-04:002011-07-01T06:55:59.163-04:00I don't believe in presents, but I do believe ...I don't believe in presents, but I do believe in punishment (no TV, etc) if one of my kids isn't trying their best. I contact the kids' teachers through the year and make sure they are on track.<br />My boy (who is 9 and wasn't always on track this past school year) told my wife the other day, "Sometimes Dad makes my life miserable." Yep, I'm not here to be your Andrew Hallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01495983897864604830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-81076345970423182062011-07-01T01:03:30.936-04:002011-07-01T01:03:30.936-04:00Take it from a super-child who was rewarded ALL TH...Take it from a super-child who was rewarded ALL THE TIME for being a general overachiever: once your children get into the real world and start becoming "normal" people, they will feel like failures because you boosted them up so much as children.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-18657899607785367232011-06-30T23:18:41.356-04:002011-06-30T23:18:41.356-04:00My psych doc thinks the passing presents fueled my...My psych doc thinks the passing presents fueled my perfectionism... or something.<br /><br />Even though it didn't matter the grade, I always got A's (except for that mofo I call 'calculus').<br /><br />I agree with you. Maybe a dinner out or something, but not extravagance...<br /><br /><a href="http://seriouslyreallyseriously.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow"> <b><i>Seriously?... StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-48959384369333830132011-06-30T21:41:49.585-04:002011-06-30T21:41:49.585-04:00I don't remember ever receiving gifts or cash ...I don't remember ever receiving gifts or cash for my grades in school. My parents did reward me in other ways regarding curfews and such.Georgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03749843521356271835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-68010467222726325582011-06-30T21:03:23.733-04:002011-06-30T21:03:23.733-04:00I never got rewarded for my grades. I got lectured...I never got rewarded for my grades. I got lectured for getting less than an A in any class without a REALLY good reason ("everyone else made a D" good reason). Until, that is, I managed to fuck up badly enough that they stopped having high expectations of me at all...Ozymandiashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08410555827569922830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3110277373590292385.post-19689530322211199302011-06-30T20:35:15.169-04:002011-06-30T20:35:15.169-04:00I don't reward my kids for moving onto another...I don't reward my kids for moving onto another grade. I mean you can pass with all D's. I reward my kids for good report cards.Oilfield Trashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00527580828815598952noreply@blogger.com